DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

Your DP is correct! Quite frankly going out clubbing is the absolute last thing I wanted to do in my 20’s or 30’s! If I ever had to do it because it was a Hen Do or something I was relieved when it was over! My DH is the same.

We’d rather go for a nice meal and a few beers, go see a show or a band a few
times a year. I also crochet.

I have no desire to queue for 20 minutes to get a drink or go to the loo, be squashed in a room full of people who will probably spill drinks on me, bump into me and not be able to hear myself or anyone else speak whilst have my ears assaulted by what passes as popular music and on top of that, pay an extortionate sum of money to do all of those things!

I honestly don’t see how doing things you enjoy with your other half is ‘wasting your life’. Doing things you really don’t enjoy because
someone else enjoyed them and therefore thinks you should would be wasting your time.

Let them do what they enjoy or you may find they decide they don’t want to speak to you that often as when they do, they get pestered to do stuff they don’t want to do all the time.

I find people who yak on about travel and partying boring tbh.

There's nothing wrong with enjoy contentment and relaxation. The world is a shitty place, a lot of people don't like what you call "excitement". There's nothing boring about appreciating the beauty on your doorstep and not fucking up the planet by flying all over the world.

Please say this is a joke!
OP- be careful what you wish for. Honestly!

I agree ☝🏼

this

Mind your own business.

Clubbing? That's for 19-year-olds isn't it?

But the majority of people who travel, frankly don't experience much outside of what 'little Englanders' do abroad. They stay with other white, middle class people, doing the same things other white, middle class people do, even if they are backpacking through their gap year.

It's harder and harder to travel now without ending up with hordes of other people from your own country, eating food you can get at home.

They're living how they want to live though, as long as they are happy I'd say. I'd love to be that level of happiness instead of how I feel currently

I experienced all the energy and excitement you're craving in my twenties. Travel, clubbing, shit hot career in vibrant cities blah blah. I wish I'd lived more like your daughter instead.

I never really went clubbing or had wild parties on a regular basis. I can count on one hand the times I went clubbing and subsequently hated it.
I had my first dog in my early 20s while still at university & have had a dog ever since! I had plenty of friends and a good social life going cinema, hanging out in each other's bedsits listing to music, talking shite ect. Maybe others thought I was boring, but I look back fondly!
I'm in my early 50s, so very much a 90's child and don't think I missed out on anything!
How one spends their free time is very personal it's not compulsory to do what is assumed to be the social norm.

OP, to me your DD has a lovely, fulfilled life, if she's happy, why want to change it?

I get it op. I moved around a lot, lived abroad and had a lot of adventures in my 20s and really enjoyed the variety, meeting people from all over and the sense of possibility. I would find it hard to understand if my dd settled down in the way you describe. However, I didn’t live perfectly, made bad job choices, was single and lonely a lot of the time and financially years behind a lot of my peers. I’m sure my parents weren’t completely happy with how I lived but they let me get on with it - at the end of the day your dd is happy and has chosen her life, which may or may not last forever. As pp say it’s a different generation and perhaps harder to take risks.

Her life sounds nice! What she finds fun doesn't have to be the same as you.

So patronising. Just because their idea of fun isn’t yours doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoying themselves. Be grateful they are happy and healthy. My 24 godson is in thrall to ketamine and I am terrified every day that he will of or crash his car under the influence. Is he living life to the fullest?

OP - your DD sounds great but I understand you. For example, I feel like like motherhood etc has been really enjoyable for me as I rarely experience FOMO.

This is largely due to working abroad, travelling, having amazing girl trips during my early/mid 20s. (One of my favourite memories is not realising the dirt cheap ticket to South Africa meant a layover in Libya😅)

The important thing is that DD is happy and in a good relationship - but I do understand your feelings.

That is exactly what I thought as well!

OP, what are you worrying about? They go out for exercise and are building a lovely home together.

I was expecting you to say the complete opposite, that they were out drinking every weekend etc... this sounds like the complete opposite of 'wasting' their lives?!

I don't drink and have never enjoyed partying at all, I settled down with my boyfriend (now husband) at 18 and have been 'boring' ever since.

Wow how very dare they enjoy walks and good food, here's a suggestion... Fk off and leave them alone to enjoy what they want to do with their life, it's got absolutely sweet fk all to do with you.

You sound ridiculous. You think she’s boring because she’s not out partying? I think getting drunk and spending days hungover is wasting your life, not what they are doing. Let them be, if she’s happy and safe and in a healthy relationship then that should be enough.

I only enjoyed clubbing and partying when I was single. Once I met my boyfriend we did other things together

Maybe you could just let them live their own lives and butt out of theirs.

I would have hated if my mum had tried to dictate to me how I should live my life. Awful.

I don’t think you’re a cow or that you hate your daughter, or any of the ridiculously extreme things that have been said. But I do think you need to let go a bit.

She’s not a 15 year-old neglecting her GCSEs because she thinks 100 TikTok followers makes her a full-time influencer. She’s not an 18 year-old ditching uni because of a boyfriend she’s only been dating a month. She’s very much a grown woman.

I think you’ve had extreme reactions because your viewpoint is different to the norm; it would be more common to see mothers of adult children on here worrying that they won’t grow up and settle down. But ultimately by the time your child hits 27, you have to let them make their own choices - even if you’d prefer them to make less sensible rather than more sensible ones.

I have two kids in their twenties and I just can’t relate to OP at all. As long as they are happy and not doing anything illegal I can't imagine why I would stick my nose in where it wasn’t wanted or asked for. If my kids want to live wholesome lives I could not be happier.

I'm 27 with three young children and they sound exactly like all my friends who haven't had kids yet! Hope we aren't all wasting our lives 🤣

You need to watch out you are so unreasonable. Not everyone is the same, and if you carry on having the conversation about them waiting their 20s with them, then they wont bother with you at all

They are happy doing what suits them, stop interfering