DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

Omg, this is so bad. Everyone is different and has different lives. I can't think of anything worse than going out clubbing ! Even when I was in my 20s. Good on them for not adhering to social pressure and living the life they want. Which tbh ... Sounds perfectly lovely.

Op, you are hilarious and made me giggle with your wee laughing emoji re their walking holiday in the peak district. I was wild from 13-33. 20 years of chaos. Still managed a couple of degrees, post grad, professional qualifications and a gap year back packing. The chaos and partying was fine. When I think of what I spent though.... spent more in 2 weeks socialising then than what I do in a year now. 🙈. Wish id crafted and gone for walks and pub lunches.

Are you just missing out on the opportunity to go for liquid lunches with her and join in the chaos/chat about it. Time to re-live your younger years ;-)

op they may not be telling you the truth. I know a couple who appear to be like this from the outside but are fairly prolific doggers. Be careful what you wish for.

Hiking all over the country, not the counter!

They sound content. Most parents when asked what they want for their children say they ‘just want them to be happy’ so yes, YABU.

I had a hedonistic time in my teens and twenties. I look back on it quite fondly but I also know that I wasted a lot of time and money and also got myself into some ridiculous and sometimes dangerous situations. My 19 and 17 year-olds lead a more innocent existence than I did at their age and I’m quite relieved tbh.

Are you honestly talking about your daughter or are you just having a bitch about someone else? I just can't imagine talking this way about my own daughter.
How is what she is doing not 'real'
She is lucky to be able to live that way, it's as real as anything else, nature and countryside is a lot more real to me than shopping centres and pubs and clubs.

How are they wasting their lives if they're doing what makes them happy? It sounds idyllic.

I'd swap their life for the one I had at their age in a heartbeat.

This is normal nowadays. Most night clubs have shut compared to 20 years ago. Clubbing is outdated.

I don’t get it, 27 isn’t that young, it’s well past the clubbing/partying every weekend phase for most people, it’s the time people tend to start settling down.
I’m nearly 10 years older than your daughter and at her age I’d just bought my first home, a year after that I was engaged. We did go on holidays abroad but not as many as we’d have liked as we were putting all our money into the house and saving for the wedding. Our peers were all similar.
We enjoyed (and still do) similar activities to your daughter and her BF, I don’t see how that makes us like “old” people, we were part of a walking group specifically for young people and had some great times hiking all over the counter, they’re still my friends now and our kids play together.
Your DD’s life sounds lovely, just let her enjoy it, not everyone wants to party and travel.

Which sounds lovely.
You need to change your mindset op

I bet OP’s experience of the world is travelling to all the same destinations that every other middle class Brit visits on their gap yah

They are living a wonderful life by the sounds of it. Lots of young people enjoy countryside, good food, good company. Be proud. Sounds like you are viewing it from what you feel is a good time. Many young people don't really drink these days & enjoy healthy activities. Better than pouring money into alcohol on nights out & eating takeaways. If they are happy then it's not a waste. If they are utterly miserable be concerned but it sounds good to me. We want the best for our children but maybe it's accepting their idea of fun is different to yours. If it's a healthy loving relationship and enjoying time together doing quite soulful activities, you've done a good job. Enjoy it. Get your boots on and enjoy a lovely walk with them. :)

Funny!!!! Most people would think they’re being productive time with their lives… but yes, they do sound a bit dull!
happy though? If happy then, we’ll all good

I think times are different now. Also, they’re 27, not 18 many people have had enough of the party life by then and are starting to settle down.

dd1 is 20 and at uni. She’s not a party animal but does go on her fair share of nights out and has been on holiday with friends this year. That said. When she’s at home she barely goes out, likes to hang out with me and go on country walks and out for lunch. When her boyfriend came to stay over the summer they took the dog on walks and to the beach, they didn’t go out clubbing. The only time they had a drink was at our family bbq.

you don’t have to be out getting wrecked to enjoy life. You can also go back and do more at a later date if you want to. I went to boom town this year without my DC!!

Dunno. I think they are living the dream. Many people would have loved to have lived like this in their 20s, but hadn’t found their person or felt socially obliged to “party”

They sound a lovely couple. I wouldn’t be worried as they have interests, interact with others and get out of the house regularly. They may just not be party people; my DD24 is similar and honestly I think your DD would be her ideal friend! I’d only start panicking if they were unemployed, had no ambitions, social struggles or were abusing substances/living chaotically…but they’re quite the opposite

I feel sad for how much you’re judging your daughter. I know parents can struggle if their children take a different path, but it’s not a slight against you and her life is no less worthwhile.
How awful to call your own daughter boring.

You’re wasting your old age. You’ve got nothing to lose at this point. Start taking drugs.

@FiddIedeedee
My first husband was like this. I met him when he was 20, I was 18. He'd never been further abroad than Jersey, I'd travelled the world with my parents from a very young age (I'm not British).

There's a line in the film 'Kind Hearts and Coronets': " I must admit he exhibits the most extraordinary capacity for middle age that I've ever encountered in a young man of twenty-four"...he was 24 when we married, and the only young man of that age I've ever met who had his own allotment! If we'd stayed together it would have been our 36th wedding anniversary tomorrow.

He was (probably still is) 'boring'...but that was, and still is, only my opinion. He was happy with his gardening, allotment, living locally, never leaving the UK. He was steady, reliable...everything that my parents weren't when I was growing up. That's why I was attracted to him in the first place...but our marriage only lasted 2 and a half years, mainly because once I was away from my parents I 'grew up' and didn't want to live like I was in my 40s, 20 years ahead of time.

I changed, he didn't. Your daughter and her boyfriend may stay the same. I'd keep your opinion of their life to yourself, and just support them, no matter how their futures work out.

Eek is that a thing?!

But they are living! They’re living a life that suits them and they’re happy. Being happy is the main thing I want for my kids. You need to take a massive step back OP, it really isn’t anything to do with you.

Would you rather they were injecting heroin into their eyeballs? What they do with their spare time sounds lovely!

Imagine believing you’ve lived a broad and expansive life outside of the cookie cutter Middle England experience, and then being so small-minded that you’d judge your own child for not living in the manner you think is appropriate. PPs are right, you sound like a mean girl.

But do you really think your words will inspire them into doing what you want them to do? Or are you just irritating them? Fair enough if they were actually doing something harmful you might want to say something but otherwise you might cause a rift by giving your views that don’t appear to be wanted

@FiddIedeedee *

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

I would say that partying and "clubbing" is a waste of youth.

"Clubbing" is something that kids do in their early 20s only because they see other kids doing it. Once they quickly realise that there's nothing particularly enjoyable about spending far too much money on overpriced drinks (when alcohol from a supermarket is much cheaper), then they grow out of "clubbing."

A 27 year old is obviously far too old for "clubbing," with the exception of it being an occasional one-off.

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

Most people would consider those to be respectable and interesting hobbies. I wish I could find the time to read like your DD does.