DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

They are enjoying their lives and they will remember their experiences. Sounds like they are having a lovely wholesome time. Much better than a hangover!

That’s actually a fair point. I’ve said upthread everyone is different and you should respect it but sometimes it is hard to know if it’s just someone’s personality or if they’re hiding from the world.

In my mid 30s I’d have told everyone my personality was making me rarely venture out but now I think it was actually low level anxiety which the pandemic exacerbated.

re. Your perception of their lack of cultural awareness/exposure - do they ever say do a weekend in Leeds, Manchester or London and check out museums, galleries, street market and theatre or history walks ? Of course they don’t have to if it’s not their thing but might be something to suggest. It’s not raving or partying I know and you may class it as boring too but you can learn so much about the world from doing these things even if they don’t want to actually get on a plane

You're just being judgemental. It sounds like you're jealous you don't have jetsetting stories to share with your friends. Some people are happy and fulfilled without the need to waste money on a two week trip that is overrun with tourists who only want the notch in their belt for visiting whatever popular destination and getting the must see tourist snaps.

Personally I'm similar to your daughter. I despise crowds. I love spending weekends snorkelling, bush walking, climbing mountains, kayaking, jet skiing, camping, critter hunting in rock pools, horse riding etc So more solitary, isolated, outdoor activities. I've been like this my entire life. My life is fulfilling and interesting.

I’ve just looked up boring in the dictionary - it means not interesting/tedious. The op and a few others have described walking with a dog boring and clubbing not boring. Wouldn’t it be an individual personal decision? For example, I would personally find clubbing not interesting and tedious, but I find dog walking an absolute pleasure. I am perfectly happy to accept others feel the exact opposite. But I don’t think those people are boring. I just think they have different interests to me.

Why is that funny? You want them to be living their lives, to them that's what they're doing.

I think partying and travelling is something you do before 25 then you settle into the things you enjoy.

You should be happy for them unless you would prefer no relationship at all? That's the way you're heading

I dont think you are unreasonable for wanting your DD to see and experience more of the world before serious commitment, children, etc. I want that for mine but they, younger than yours, but have this narrow home world bubble. I was out night clubbing, travelling (not big), working overseas. I also hope they dont regret it. I think sadly BREXIT took away a lot of opportunities for our young under 30s. I do find as well that mine has very narrow interests and does a lot less than I did at that age. Its not education, because I didn't do these things through extracurricular at school.

Late to this thread, but you are massively unreasonable. Just as you don't regret not going on a walking holiday to the Peak District with your dogs in your 20's, she won't regret not getting rat arsed and falling out of clubs.

You are not the blueprint for how you should live your life. Many people don't enjoy clubbing or having a "crazy time". That's perfectly valid and is no less enjoyable than any other personal preference.

Your daughter is not you. She's her own individual with her own interests. Her life sounds perfectly enjoyable. Time you enjoy is never wasted.

Maybe she would describe partying and clubbing as wasting your time, simply because it's neither fun nor productive. And at 27, she's long past the age when most have grown out of it.

You should be glad you have a content, happy daughter with a stable life and compatible partner. I repeat, she is not you, and she doesn't have to relive your life.

I think most of us these days are having a blast. We just choose to spend on experiences rather than a lifetime of issues due to alcohol.

They sound fabulous!

Sorry but I’m in stitches the way you’re describing them and their interests. This is the opposite of the problem some parents have, they are usually telling the young person to party less 😂

Seriously though - you must understand everyone is different!

It’s like some people said to me I’d regret not sleeping around in my 20s. I didn’t and I have zero regrets on that and very happy of the path and lifestyle I chose which barely involved men aside from platonic male friends.

Also didn’t do drugs or get drunk although I did travel as much as I could afford and went clubbing heavily in my student days and occasionally until around 30. Again no regrets on that.

I agree with your DH op although I can see why you feel like this.
Im so glad I enjoyed my 20’s. Nights out, girls holidays but I bought my first house at 21 with a 5% deposit, my monthly payments, even on a rate that would make most folks eyes water today, was easily manageable so I had disposable income.
Youngsters nowadays don’t have that luxury and I think that’s why their priorities have shifted.
Sensibly they want to work hard, save, and seem to enjoy far simpler pleasures. I don’t think your DD is any different to most her age

Clubbing isn't the only way to live. In fact it's a fairly boring and generic way to spend your time if you ask me. Their lives sound cosy and interesting and full. It's weird that you're interfering in the activities of two adults who are perfectly content because you think they should be spending more time drunk or hungover.

So, the thing is: everyone has a different version of “living a little” and some don’t include mindless excursions to nightclubs where they pay through the nose for grotty drinks, are exposed to ear-shattering beats and can’t hear anyone around them, rendering conversation impossible!
Long walks with the dogs, cosy pub dinners, and learning artisanal crafts makes it sound like they are extremely mature, content and likely to enjoy their lives!
I really don’t think they’ll regret what they are doing now, ever!

You're assuming all twenty somethings want to experience clubbing and getting up to no good, maybe your daughter has absolutely no desire for any of that. I didn't in my twenties and now at almost 40 I still don't think I missed out on anything! Leave them be, it sounds like a great way to live and be proud that they've carved a lovely little life out for themselves. Trust that if they wanted to spend their twenties partying then they would be. Given their interests, it doesn't sound like that would be their scene at all anyway.

I hope your sweet daughter isn't aware of the contempt in which you seem to hold her and her chosen lifestyle

Maybe she's having a blast? Just a different kind.

It’s quite ironic that you’re username is fiddle.

stop fiddling! I would much rather my child have the life yours has got than the one you had. I’d much prefer to know my daughter was safe of an evening than our getting up to god knows what like you say. You should be proud and nothing more and what’s more it’s not your life it’s theirs and they are happy if they weren’t they’d do more about it. Their life
sounds beautiful.

Maybe this young woman will do that when she's 50. Or 60.

I know what you are saying. My kids are really boring compared to what I did when I was their age. I wouldn't even tell them what I got up to (not sure I can remember it all!). However, if they are happy, that is fine; they can always change their minds in the future. TBH they are probably wiser than I was, but I did have a blast!!!

Sounds perfect to me!

You are as unreasonable as OP.

YABVU.

Their life sounds delightful to me.

Everyone who’s anyone gets their crochet out in September.

Not everyone wants to be out and about everywhere. Some people are perfectly happy and love their little Boring lives.

This is just like the whole extroverts thinking they are better and know better than introverts.

No just one side doesn’t sit there banging on about the other being wrong or bad. They just live their happy life not giving a fuck what others think.

There is actually a whole thing of younger people being in their granny eras gardening and such. Really though it’s people disconnecting from the 24/7 digital world and fast pace. Just living life at a slower pace which was normal at one point before everyone had to be doing something all the time.

I love exploring the U.K. I find it sad when people haven’t but have been to loads of places aboard but couldn’t tell you anything about their own countries. I did both as a child and teen and I still pick exploring the U.K. over say another treck though the Dominican or a dive bar in Ibiza.

Agree, sounds great, they have a lovely sounding life