He said this right after sex.

👏

Friends with benefits is supposed to be fun and uncomplicated, OP.

This man is upsetting you (and sounds like an arsehole). Lose his number. He's not a friend in any sense.

You've never heard of Friends With Benefits (FWB)?

If he's a friend he was an honest of tactless friend..
You are his friend so tell him he was being a cunt.
And move on. Just no more sex..

I was with a man like this and later realised he was slightly autistic, he just said what he saw. Very hurtful in an intimate relationship

Just to reiterate for everyone who didn't read further on - saying hurtful things was not a one off. It doesn't fall into the bracket of a silly or thoughtless comment. It's a pattern.

He's got a history of saying hurtful things though. That's not something a friend does. The reason 'cut off and block' is a popular is response is because no woman deserves that shit.

I would say to him something like, he knows how sensitive you are about weight, and what he said really hurt because of how he said it. You needed time to process it. And then see if he will apologise.

If he's been through a lot with you, I would give him a chance to make amends, but he has to do some of the work.

Me. I've a couple of friends I sometimes have sex with, if we're both single at the time and in the mood.

I would ignore this poster @pinkpeta - something has irked them. (Maybe they’ve just left a Trump rally or something 😅)

sorry you’re going through this.
If your friendship is normally good, and if you can genuinely say to yourself that usually you’re not waiting around for him but it’s mutually beneficial then maybe give him the opportunity to apologise. You could just be friends with no sex if that works.
Maybe, also for your health and happiness sake use it as a spur to get healthy and in shape with more energy to feel better about yourself?
It’s sad when friendships break down - go easy on yourself xx

I think you just need to say that you’re hurt by what he said, so he try and make amends. You say he has been there for you through some really tough times etc only you can decide wether it’s worth getting rid of him from your life based on that comment.
It was thoughtless, tactless and unkind but he probably didn’t mean it maliciously if he’s an otherwise generally nice person.
Having said that, I wouldn’t be having sex with him anymore, the boundaries have become blurred and you need to put some firm ones back in place.
If he doesn’t apologise profusely and goes on the defensive then you know that he’s probably not the person you need in your life right now.
But message him, tell him how his crass comment made you feel, stop ignoring the situation and just say it.

I'm in the camp that thinks he made a thoughtless, unkind and stupid comment to someone he sees as a good friend and is relaxed around. I also think there's a slight possibility that he genuinely thought your phone was broken when - to him - it cut off suddenly and he couldn't get hold of you. However, I'm sure the penny has dropped by now and hopefully he's reflecting on what he said. I do think you should talk to him, tell him how upset you were and that he needs to think more carefully about what he says.
I also think you should ignore the posters talking so negatively about him using you, and I say that as someone who is quite prudish about casual sex. From your posts, you have a good, long lasting and supportive relationship and it's been your choice to have sex with him from time to time, not just his. You can now exercise the choice not to and decide whether the rest of your friendship with him is worth maintaining. I'd speak to him, see if he truly apologises then make the decision from there.

Probably the issue is that he’s talking to you like you’re just one of his mates except that intimacy and sex brings a whole other layer to the relationship, even if it’s casual.

I’d probably tell him the truth about how it
made me feel and take it from there.

Talk to him and express your feelings and how his comment affected you, see how he reacts and move from there! Chances are, he's a bit dense and didn't think about your feelings while saying that. If you've been good friends overall he might be mortified to find out he offended you with his lack of empathy.
If he just laughs it off after being called out directly and never apologizes, then you'd be right to discard a friendship, but I'd give him a chance to fix it first.

Cutting people off or breaking up or divorcing is a common advice internet has for any relationship problem and it's an easy thing to say when you're an outsider. However, when you're within the situation it's actually way more nuanced than just simply walking away and never talking to someone again.

This is a strange relationship I’d say.
Stop having sex and put some distance in between you. I’m guessing you’re both single- is this just about sex for both of you?
he’s betrayed your trust with this comment- no going back from that. X

Very dramatic responses..

10 years of friendship, and he has been a decent guy to you (as you describe) over the years.

That means it is likely:

1, he thought you were comfortable enough as old friends to take this kind of comment
2, he forgot or didn't think about your feelings about weight

Or both.

Either way, if he is the decent guy you generally describe - 1 conversation where you say that it upset you, and he apologizes would be better than discarding a 10 year friendship over a single comment.

I have a similar friend who I used to sleep with a few years ago, he made a comment about me having pubic hair and I haven’t had sex with him since. Men can be ass holes and the 100% know they are in the wrong. don’t give this guy sex again, anyone you sleep with should tell you how amazing your body is, no way should they make comments on how fat you are. If he’s so bloody perfect he can go find it elsewhere, you are worth more.

If he’s a friend he very probably didn’t mean to hurt you. He just said something hurtful without thinking about what he is saying. And it seems like he’s realised and is sorry.

Weight is one of those things that everyone notices, can see it, but shouldn’t talk about it really for fear of upsetting someone. Hopefully you can both move past it and continue enjoying your friendship, if that’s what you want to do.

It's absolutely honest and genuine, and literally nothing on this site is necessary, including your reply.