Random drunk stuck his head through my open living room window and scared me senseless

That sounds really scary, I feel for you.

Am I the only one surprised it was warm enough to have a window open at that time?

What part of being shocked and upset at a drunk man trying to climb in your window at 1am is 'dramatics' @PollyBell ?

Op would be doing him a favour. If he did this round here he'd have likely got a smack in the mouth or a baseball bat wrapped round his head. He needs to know this isnt ok for his future safety.

It's not funny. Sadly you need to consider your security, you were so vulnerable. It's nothing to do with the golf course.

Assault.

This wasn't a mate playing a prank on someone they know, it was a strange man in a drunken power-play. He knew he was scaring someone (that was what was "funny" about it to him) whom he calculated couldn't do anything about it.

If he'd looked through the window and seen a man twice his size with face tattoos sitting there at the window, do you think he'd have done the same thing? If we had Texas Castle doctrine in this country, and he knew he could have been shot with impunity, do you think he'd have done this?

No, because in both cases there might have been physical or even fatal consequences for him rather than a feeling of power and "fuck you" over someone more vulnerable than him.

As well as being perfectly free to deliberately scare someone with impunity at the time, he also has the bonus of people like you excusing his behaviour too. I despair.

Good for you.

OP feels differently and is very reasonable to want to take this further.

You poor thing. I would also have called the police and reported criminal assault (which includes making someone think they are about to be attacked). It's not too late to do that if you'd like to.

I wouldn't expect him to be prosecuted but it would be a very good thing for it to be known in the community who has done this to a single mother while her children were in the house, and ideally for him to receive a police visit about it, even if they don't have enough proof it was him.

Fear, shock and social shame are likely to be the only tools that have some effect on these sorts of nasty little idiots.

Yes it would have shocked me at first yes i may have been annoyed for a few minutes then I would have moved on, I dont see why there is any need for the dramaticness

Nor this 'cool girl' trope, it seems if you dont pile on the dramatics we are not doing it right and not just this thread

Some of the responses on here are unbelievably like “awww boys will be boys”
We don’t have to put up with this shit!
I’d be making a complaint to the golf club and reporting to the police.

Not remotely funny at all and I agree with telling the club and reporting it to the police, with a description of the man.

Ignore the posters talking out their arse.

I hope he feels very ashamed of himself this morning.

@Bobiverse of course anyone would feel upset by it. It's very odd people are minimising this. It's vile behaviour.

You are bang on OP.
They are the same kind of responses who'd claim "it's just banter" if you were to post a thread about inappropriate comments or sexual harassment 🙄.

If it's any consolation my mum had something similar happen to her years ago (mid 1970s I think) when she was in the house alone one night and even though no harm came to her, still to this day she can't have the windows and curtains open when it gets dark.

Ballerina - if the police can spend (waste) their time visiting people at home about the hurty words they've posted on social media they can damn well respond to people like OP.

Not remotely funny. He should think himself lucky he wasn't seriously damaged. It must have been a real shock

I bet you won't have your window open like that again: one more example of stupid male behaviour affecting women's lives.

Hi OP

Please don't listen to the 'I'd have found it hilarious' or 'why in earth was your window open slightly anyway' brigade. Most people would be shaken and wondering 'what if...'

Please look into who was doing this. Men need to realise that what is a funny drunk prank to them can be really scary and upsetting for a woman on their own and have a lasting impact. He will have forgotten this in a week and you will remember it forever

Complaint to golf club by email copied to whoever it is at the council that authorises their licence to sell alcohol. That will change their attitude if they have to staff their drinkers leaving safely without causing anti social behaviour.

Hi OP

Please don't listen to the 'I'd have found it hilarious' or 'why in earth was your window open slightly anyway' brigade. Most people would be shaken and wondering 'what if...'

Please look into who was doing this. Men need to realise that what is a funny drunk prank to them can be really scary and upsetting for a woman on their own

I’m sorry but the only response to this is an incredulous fuck off!

A person shouldn’t behave perfectly normally in their own house in case it enables a pissed up dickhead to behave wildly inappropriately and scare the living shit out of someone? Yeah the only response to that is fuck off

I used to live in a road with my front door right on it and the only living room window on the door.

We had all sorts, kids asking for water, a homeless man asking for shoes, someone leaned in and stole a coat of a hook, people just leaning in through the curtain and looking at what we were watching on tv.

It was city centre abroad and we were always aware of the issue but still always a shock to find a head in your personal space.

It was just someone being a plonker nothing sinister.

It’s not remotely funny, I would write to the committee of the golf club.

I can’t believe anyone thinks this is funny

It's not normal at all. It's not even on a par with "normal" anti-social behaviour like making a lot of noise in the street with one's scuzzy mates on the way home from.the pub. That's annoying. Your experience was scary. As to having your window open, that's perfectly legal behaviour, unlike, say, attempting to climb in through a stranger's window, so ignore comments about it. Our bedroom window is always open at night unless the temperature is actually Baltic because we are more comfortable with a cold room and loads of bedding. An open window isn't an invitation.

Oh yes of course it was the OP's fault for having her window open. What a stupid comment.