Page 3 | Random drunk stuck his head through my open living room window and scared me senseless

Bobiverse · 2025-09-22T00:52:39+00:00

I know I’m not being unreasonable but just need to say this somewhere as I’m a bit speechless. I live on a road either just a few houses and a golf club. No pavement on the road and it’s a bendy country road so very rare we get people walking it, but it is just a few hundred meters before you get to the pavement and streets heading into the little town. I’m up late working and there’s obviously some event on at the golf club that must have ended around 1am as I heard drunk people walking up to the town, happens every so often after an event at the club. It’s warm here so I’ve got the living room window open, and I was writing so looking down when I heard laughing outside and a noise, which was my window being pulled further open. I looked up as a man put his head through the window whilst making stupid laddy drunk noises and a gurning face. I did actually scream and jumped up. It all happened in seconds and I actually went towards the window, where there is a table by the window and it had some kid’s toys on it so I grabbed one of the plastic chuck and swung for the guy as he ducked his head back outside. I saw a him run back to a few other lads and they then ran off up the road. It was obviously a “prank” by some drunk idiots but it’s really shaken me. I think I’ll be popping down to the golf club in the morning to have a word and see if I can find out whose party it was but it’s not like anything will come of it even if I can track down whoever had the invite list. I’m just shaken and quite angry about it, not really sure what else to say.

TwoTuesday · 23/09/2025 20:41

If you hadn't complained he could have carried on. You would not have felt safe. Don't feel bad, he needed to learn this lesson.

Original poster

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 20:34

And the other staff got a telling off for being involved, and a lecture on the club being part of the community and not to screw that up with idiot behaviour. But it was the new kid who was the instigator/ring leader so nothing further happening with the other staff.

OP posts:

DeQuin · 23/09/2025 20:30

Volpini · 23/09/2025 20:27

Of course you feel rotten about it, you’re a decent person. I think the way to think about this though is that he did something really out of order and really dodgy. As the police officer said this could have been taken further.
You don’t know what this intervention might have prevented. Maybe nothing, but maybe something.
It doesn’t feel like it, but you’ve done him - and possibly someone else - a favour. This is a lesson he needed to learn and he’s learned it in a way that hasn’t screwed up his life.
x

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This. It’s actually a really good outcome for him long term: no lasting consequences but a big lesson. Hope you are feeling ok about being at home.

SimoneHere · 23/09/2025 20:28

@Bobiverse ”He’s only 19, has learned a lesson but I’m the one feel crappy about it.”

Dont feel crappy about it. He’s learned a very valuable lesson and you might have saved him from far worse consequences further down the line.

What if he pulled that kind of stunt to someone with a heart condition and killed them?

What if he pulled that kind of stunt on a violent man who then beat the crap out of him?

This way all that has happened is him not passing his probation (and rightly so). Totally proportionate.

MissMoan · 23/09/2025 20:27

It's invasive, I can completely understand your unease / anger - I would feel the same. I also detest that sense of entitlement that idiots like that seem to share.
I really hope this is a one-off, and that you can soon relax again in your own home 💐

Volpini · 23/09/2025 20:27

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 20:09

Well, the restaurant/bar manager from the club came round along with the club president to apologise again and check all was ok with the window and with us. The staff member has been spoken to, is very shame faced and his mum is furious with him as well! He won’t be passing his probation, but I’m actually feeling really shitty about that.
They had a word with one of the playing members who is in the police, and that’s how the mum found out as they went round and had an informal chat. He is under no illusions that what he did could be taken further and could have been bad for him etc. Not sure that would happen in a city but it’s a small town!

So, he’s lost his job and had a fright from local police. He’s only 19, has learned a lesson but I’m the one feel crappy about it.

Of course you feel rotten about it, you’re a decent person. I think the way to think about this though is that he did something really out of order and really dodgy. As the police officer said this could have been taken further.
You don’t know what this intervention might have prevented. Maybe nothing, but maybe something.
It doesn’t feel like it, but you’ve done him - and possibly someone else - a favour. This is a lesson he needed to learn and he’s learned it in a way that hasn’t screwed up his life.
x

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 23/09/2025 20:11

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 20:09

Well, the restaurant/bar manager from the club came round along with the club president to apologise again and check all was ok with the window and with us. The staff member has been spoken to, is very shame faced and his mum is furious with him as well! He won’t be passing his probation, but I’m actually feeling really shitty about that.
They had a word with one of the playing members who is in the police, and that’s how the mum found out as they went round and had an informal chat. He is under no illusions that what he did could be taken further and could have been bad for him etc. Not sure that would happen in a city but it’s a small town!

So, he’s lost his job and had a fright from local police. He’s only 19, has learned a lesson but I’m the one feel crappy about it.

I get this and would feel the same but I think you need to let the voice saying HIS actions = HIS consequences be the louder voice. You didn't cause this, he did

Original poster

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 20:09

Well, the restaurant/bar manager from the club came round along with the club president to apologise again and check all was ok with the window and with us. The staff member has been spoken to, is very shame faced and his mum is furious with him as well! He won’t be passing his probation, but I’m actually feeling really shitty about that.
They had a word with one of the playing members who is in the police, and that’s how the mum found out as they went round and had an informal chat. He is under no illusions that what he did could be taken further and could have been bad for him etc. Not sure that would happen in a city but it’s a small town!

So, he’s lost his job and had a fright from local police. He’s only 19, has learned a lesson but I’m the one feel crappy about it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 20:02

Ratafia · 23/09/2025 17:07

MN reading comprehension standards fail again. I didn't say it justified anything. I was just a bit surprised by the contradictory dripfeed which, combined with this issue, made me wonder about what happened.

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What contradictory dripfeed?

He stuck his head through my window. You seemed to think that was totally fine, so I explained exactly how he did it. But most people wouldn’t need a full description when it’s already something quite bad. And it was 1am; I didn’t really need to type the entire description of the encounter. Most people got it just fine.

OP posts:

LouiseK93 · 23/09/2025 19:57

Next time you swing dont miss! His head was trespassing into your home!

Daftypants · 23/09/2025 19:24

That’s not remotely funny and wouid scare the crap out of me .
I might react by screaming and hitting this idiot with whatever I had to hand .
My dog would be losing his mind as well .
Definitely tell the golf club management team as any behaviour like this if repeated could lose them their late license

Carpedimum · 23/09/2025 18:52

Somebody did something similar to me once a long time ago. I was living in a row of country cottages where the access to the back of the houses was one pathway, with the gardens on the other side of the shared path. One evening, I was in the kitchen when a man tried the door and made “aaaggghhhh” noises with his face pressed up against the diamond shape of glass in the wood. I screamed like a banshee and flung my arms against the door to make a loud bang and put my face to the glass. He scarpered. I was left feeling very wound up. What he didn’t know was that I was very on edge because I’d been having horrible, sexually explicit anonymous phone calls in which the man said he’d been watching me in my garden. The next day, a neighbour said “you really frightened my friend!” I was confused at first and then realised, she said he’d got the wrong house and was just being silly. I responded that, actually, he’d scared me! On reflection it is a funny story but was not at the time at all! My sympathy @Bobiverse I know that fight or flight really does mean fight sometimes!

Mumof2amazingasdkiddos · 23/09/2025 18:42

As a single mum with 2 vulnerable DC that would've really shaken me up as well @Bobiverse I'm glad you've spoken to the golf club and I'm glad it was staff so they can easily identify through description, witnesses, questions etc exactly who it was. I hope the man in question woke up feeling thoroughly ashamed of his behaviour in the cold light of day and he gets the consequences he deserves.
You absolutely did not overreact or under react, you reacted to the threat in front of you with only a split second to decide what action to take. I'd like to think I too would have swung for him but thankfully I've never been put in the position to know for sure whether I would freeze or fight.
You absolutely did not overreact by following this up with the golf club and whilst I would consider contacting the police if the golf club doesn't resolve this and make amends sharpish I respect that's your decision to make, honestly I'd consider contacting the police regardless but then I have that little voice in my head saying 'don't ruin the poor wee boys life with a criminal record over a stupid prank' it's being drowned out by the voice screaming 'what about the fact I no longer feel safe to open a fucking window when ever I want in my own house and will I now be obsessively checking they are all closed everytime there is an event on up the golf club'
I'm really sorry this happened to you and I hope the fucking drunken twat AND the golf club who have benefited from your repeat custom and grace to hold these events, makes this as right as they can as quickly as they can and that you don't suffer any lasting anxiety about being able to just live how you want to in your own home

Dappy777 · 23/09/2025 18:38

Horrible. He deserves some kind of punishment - a massive fine or something. God I hate alcohol. It turns people into such obnoxious arseholes. One of the best changes I have witnessed is the decline in drinking among the young. Back in the ‘90s, my local town was a no-go zone at weekends. You’d see boys fighting and girls urinating in the street. It was disgusting. I remember going into town with a group of Americans one Saturday night and feeling so ashamed.

Tdcp · 23/09/2025 17:19

That's so scary op! You shouldn't have to do this of course but I have window restrictors on my windows, they're really easy to install and work really well, it may be worth considering them so this doesn't happen to you again? (Absolutely not blaming you for having the window open btw! We should be able to do that without wondering about if a drunken idiot or worse decides to climb in the window.. )

Ratafia · 23/09/2025 17:07

Volpini · 23/09/2025 11:36

It doesn’t matter that you won’t have your window open - the OP did. There could have been snow on the ground and all her windows open - it doesn’t justify someone going onto the OP’s property and peering in/ leaning in/ whatever they were doing on her property at night where they had no right to be.

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MN reading comprehension standards fail again. I didn't say it justified anything. I was just a bit surprised by the contradictory dripfeed which, combined with this issue, made me wonder about what happened.

Nearly50omg · 23/09/2025 13:15

Report to police!! They can get his fingerprints off the window. What if he decides to come back and have a go at you for losing his job? Or thinks the initial scare wasn’t enough? Men like this who go to this extent aren’t ones to just let off with a warning

Volpini · 23/09/2025 11:36

Ratafia · 23/09/2025 09:24

You're making things up now. I didn't say she was in the wrong. I was simply trying to understand the facts given. I'm in the relatively warm South, and I certainly wouldn't be working with a window open at 1 a.m.

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It doesn’t matter that you won’t have your window open - the OP did. There could have been snow on the ground and all her windows open - it doesn’t justify someone going onto the OP’s property and peering in/ leaning in/ whatever they were doing on her property at night where they had no right to be.

Original poster

Bobiverse · 23/09/2025 11:22

Ratafia · 23/09/2025 09:24

You're making things up now. I didn't say she was in the wrong. I was simply trying to understand the facts given. I'm in the relatively warm South, and I certainly wouldn't be working with a window open at 1 a.m.

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I could be outside in my garden having a nap at 1am and no man has the right to come onto my property, touch me, assault me, go into my house… anything at all. If he did, it would be 100% his fault, not mine.

Why, when a man has acted inappropriately, was your main query “well, why were you doing that anyway.”

I’m sure you’re one of the, “well, why were you wear a short skirt?” types. It’s the same thing. When a man does something he shouldn’t do, it has absolutely nothing to do with what the person they targeted was doing. Can you understand that?

OP posts:

Ratafia · 23/09/2025 09:24

Volpini · 22/09/2025 08:51

Where are YOU living that a woman working in her own living room, late at night, with a window open is in the wrong for a man getting pissed and encroaching on her property!!!??? That she’s out of order for wanting to express how much it scared her in a seemingly safe place a mere hours later?

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You're making things up now. I didn't say she was in the wrong. I was simply trying to understand the facts given. I'm in the relatively warm South, and I certainly wouldn't be working with a window open at 1 a.m.

SimoneHere · 22/09/2025 19:21

@Bobiverse having read your update, definitely report it to the police. I don’t mean to worry you more, but if he loses his job he might want some kind of revenge, even if that’s just scaring you again. If the police have already had a word then that’s far less likely.

Juicelover · 22/09/2025 18:47

I’ve already said it near the start. But I do think police.
There’s evidence that men people who do things like flashing escalate their crimes.
This guy clearly thinks that’s an ok way to behave, what’s he going to do next time (to you or someone else)?
His fingerprints will be all over your window…

Original poster

Bobiverse · 22/09/2025 18:14

RobustPastry · 22/09/2025 16:15

Fucking hell- staff?!
Then definitely police 101 because that guy sounds unhinged. He specifically needs a visit from police. Hadn’t read your update about hoisting himself halfway in when I posted before. That’s terrifying.
Also make written complaint to the licensing body for the club with whoever owns the club copied into that that their staff are behaving like this. Doesn’t matter if he was one bad apple- the rest of them were there then laughed and ran off. No better and a dangerous working culture in which men think it’s a laugh to get pissed and climb into the house of a single woman who’s kids are asleep upstairs. WTF. I’m really sorry this was done to you.

Not upstairs, I live in a bungalow. So they were just down the hall a little. Which makes it feel worse somehow; so much less separation from someone coming in like that.

It’s just such a quiet, safe town. Sitting in a room with the window open, on a road hardly anyone ever walks along, has never felt unsafe.

OP posts:

GarlicPint · 22/09/2025 16:20

JayJayj · 22/09/2025 08:02

It’s one thing if it was a friend doing it to you to scare you. Would be scary still but also funny. A random guy is just scary.

Yes, this is a good point. Your criticisms are justified.

I imagine the drunk himself thought of it as funny (he was drunk). Drunk blokes don't tend to see nuances like "This woman's going to be scared by a stranger sticking his face in her space, she won't get my joke". That doesn't make him right; it makes him drunk - mentally incapacitated.

One of the common reactions to a threat that turns out not to be a threat is laughter, and I think I might have laughed. We each react differently to things, it's obviously reasonable to simply be angry or even to stay scared.

eta: Missed your update, OP. Well done.

RobustPastry · 22/09/2025 16:15

Fucking hell- staff?!
Then definitely police 101 because that guy sounds unhinged. He specifically needs a visit from police. Hadn’t read your update about hoisting himself halfway in when I posted before. That’s terrifying.
Also make written complaint to the licensing body for the club with whoever owns the club copied into that that their staff are behaving like this. Doesn’t matter if he was one bad apple- the rest of them were there then laughed and ran off. No better and a dangerous working culture in which men think it’s a laugh to get pissed and climb into the house of a single woman who’s kids are asleep upstairs. WTF. I’m really sorry this was done to you.