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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel devastated by this news?

138 replies

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 21/09/2025 20:02

Long story short I became ill with an unknown virus last summer. I’ve never felt like myself or truly well since. I’ve since developed a chronic UTI that I’m on long term antibiotics for.

I’ve been back and forwards to the doctors with crippling fatigue and joint pain along with nausea, headaches and generally feeling poorly. I can have a few good weeks and then boom, it comes back.

Ive now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. From the research I’ve done it isn’t curable and I feel absolutely devastated that this will be my new normal now.

Im even more frustrated as I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, take drugs or eat ultra processed foods or anything unhealthy. I’ve exercised my whole life. Unfortunately I can only manage walking and Pilates now and that’s becoming too painful.

I work full time and am a single parent to a preteen. I’m terrified of what could happen if I can’t work. I have a mortgage. I’m already struggling so much to get through the days.

Has anyone got any stories of reversing this? I need some hope right now.

Thanks if you made it to the end! X

OP posts:
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Minismomo · 22/09/2025 21:20

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 17:39

I’m so sorry you also had to go through this. It’s a truly dreadful illness. Can I ask how long you were on treatment?

I was on antibiotics for just over. Year and hiprex for another year months.

Rebeccaann5 · 22/09/2025 20:03

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 21/09/2025 20:02

Long story short I became ill with an unknown virus last summer. I’ve never felt like myself or truly well since. I’ve since developed a chronic UTI that I’m on long term antibiotics for.

I’ve been back and forwards to the doctors with crippling fatigue and joint pain along with nausea, headaches and generally feeling poorly. I can have a few good weeks and then boom, it comes back.

Ive now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. From the research I’ve done it isn’t curable and I feel absolutely devastated that this will be my new normal now.

Im even more frustrated as I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, take drugs or eat ultra processed foods or anything unhealthy. I’ve exercised my whole life. Unfortunately I can only manage walking and Pilates now and that’s becoming too painful.

I work full time and am a single parent to a preteen. I’m terrified of what could happen if I can’t work. I have a mortgage. I’m already struggling so much to get through the days.

Has anyone got any stories of reversing this? I need some hope right now.

Thanks if you made it to the end! X

I'm so sorry that sounds awful. Your symptoms sound similar to a family member of mine who has long covid, which obviously is triggered by the coronavirus. Could that be worth looking into? She found this helpful https://www.longcovidsos.org/ Hope things start to get better for you 💐

Long Covid SOS Charity | Recognition Research Rehabilitation

Long Covid SOS is the voice of the thousands of Long Covid sufferers in the UK. We are throwing a lifeline to all those who are living with the debilitating impact of Covid-19: Long Covid

https://www.longcovidsos.org

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 19:52

LovingLimePeer · 22/09/2025 19:20

Thank you.
Normal ferritin rules out haemochromatosis, normal MRI makes MS less likely (although it didn't sound like this anyway).

Presume you've had bone profile /calcium/folate in light of the paraesthesia mentioned in the indications part of your scan? I can see you've already had B12 measured

I really think you need an early morning cortisol/PoTS screen. Either of those conditions could fit your symptoms.

Addison's:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/addisons-disease/
Can cause paraesthesia/increased thirst and urination.

PoTS:
Website written by just about the best doctor I've ever met on the subject.
syncope.co.uk/syncope-fainting-blacking-out-passing-out/causes/

My folate was low.

OP posts:
LovingLimePeer · 22/09/2025 19:20

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 17:38

I’ve ordered a Lyme blood test from Medichecks to rule out Lyme.

My ferritin levels were normal on my last blood test.

I paid privately for an MRI, I’ll attach the findings.

Thank you.
Normal ferritin rules out haemochromatosis, normal MRI makes MS less likely (although it didn't sound like this anyway).

Presume you've had bone profile /calcium/folate in light of the paraesthesia mentioned in the indications part of your scan? I can see you've already had B12 measured

I really think you need an early morning cortisol/PoTS screen. Either of those conditions could fit your symptoms.

Addison's:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/addisons-disease/
Can cause paraesthesia/increased thirst and urination.

PoTS:
Website written by just about the best doctor I've ever met on the subject.
syncope.co.uk/syncope-fainting-blacking-out-passing-out/causes/

nhs.uk

Addison's disease

Addison's disease, also known as primary adrenal insufficiency or hypoadrenalism, is a rare disorder of the adrenal glands.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/addisons-disease

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 19:16

Kreepture · 22/09/2025 19:05

my bloods have NEVER shown any inflammation spikes when i've been in a lot of pain, so we proved via painrelief testing that something is suffering an inflammatory response.

That being: On naproxen (nsaid) i can function, Off naproxed - i hurt, my joints are stiff/painful in the mornings and after exercise.

I also took myself to a private physio, a rehab specialist who did a thorough whole body check and found issues with my musculoskeletal system that the NHS has pointedly missed!

the physios letter is what got me referred to Rheumatology.

That is interesting. I’ve been to physio for my shoulder. It’s painful all of the time. The rest of the time it’s my joints. Ankles, knees and wrists being the worst.

OP posts:
Kreepture · 22/09/2025 19:05

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:51

Because my recent bloods, done during a flare, didn’t show any inflammation they won’t refer me. I’d have to pay private again and I can’t afford it alongside the urologist at the moment.

my bloods have NEVER shown any inflammation spikes when i've been in a lot of pain, so we proved via painrelief testing that something is suffering an inflammatory response.

That being: On naproxen (nsaid) i can function, Off naproxed - i hurt, my joints are stiff/painful in the mornings and after exercise.

I also took myself to a private physio, a rehab specialist who did a thorough whole body check and found issues with my musculoskeletal system that the NHS has pointedly missed!

the physios letter is what got me referred to Rheumatology.

Yapper73 · 22/09/2025 18:10

Hi Op, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I was diagnosed with B12 deficiency via an active b12 test rather than the normal NHS test. It shows the B12 that your body is using rather than the B12 than is floating around, not necessarily being utilised.
I hope you find an answer - the stress of banging your head up against the wall with GPs is an added trauma to your illness.

Yapper73 · 22/09/2025 18:03

LightsDifficulty · 22/09/2025 10:33

I had something like that and I saw a therapist about 4 times a year for literally a whole decade and then I got better. I also got given a litre of IV saline and antifungal pills, and iv vitamins and got rid of a lot of conflict in my life, so it was hard to pin down what made the difference.

I think the nausea with me was to do with chronic dehydration. It was only after the litre of IV saline that that went away.

Good luck there. It's very hard and I really feel for you. Take care Flowers]

Can I ask if it was an one-off IV or a course of them?

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 17:39

Minismomo · 22/09/2025 17:02

I can't add anything useful but solidarity as I had a chronic uti which I got treated with long term antibiotics and hiprex privately. Unfortunately I developed vulvodynia which I believe was directly from the embedded uti and treatment. I am still living with this condition and it makes me so angry as if my uti had been treated probably in the first place I don't believe I would have these issues....I would certainly be richer based on all the money spent. I have also lost all faith in our health care service after what I have been through. The only improvements I had had in my conditions I have had to research, push for treatment and pay for privately.

I’m so sorry you also had to go through this. It’s a truly dreadful illness. Can I ask how long you were on treatment?

OP posts:
Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 17:38

LovingLimePeer · 22/09/2025 12:41

Thanks for this. I think there's a lot of 'default fibro' thinking in GP land when they can't figure out what's going on. GPs should be pretty obsessive when ruling stuff out as a missed diagnosis has a huge impact on quality of life.

I think if I were your GP, I would organise:

  1. 9am cortisol level
  2. Referral to rheumatology again to exclude eg. Lupus (which can present with urinary symptoms weirdly).
  3. A 10 minute stand test for PoTS.
I presume you've had repeated bacterial growth on your MSU urine tests from the way you're talking, but if not, PoTS and other widespread syndromes of dysautonomia can cause urinary symptoms.
  1. Lyme serology if you've not had it.
  2. Haemochromatosis has been ruled out by measuring ferritin, right?

Extra thoughts:

  1. Presume you don't have MS symptoms. Any historic strange eye symptoms or sensory/movement loss?
  2. Have you had any mris or just ultrasound?
  3. Presume you don't have conjunctivitis /signs of reactive arthritis.

I’ve ordered a Lyme blood test from Medichecks to rule out Lyme.

My ferritin levels were normal on my last blood test.

I paid privately for an MRI, I’ll attach the findings.

To feel devastated by this news?
OP posts:
Minismomo · 22/09/2025 17:02

I can't add anything useful but solidarity as I had a chronic uti which I got treated with long term antibiotics and hiprex privately. Unfortunately I developed vulvodynia which I believe was directly from the embedded uti and treatment. I am still living with this condition and it makes me so angry as if my uti had been treated probably in the first place I don't believe I would have these issues....I would certainly be richer based on all the money spent. I have also lost all faith in our health care service after what I have been through. The only improvements I had had in my conditions I have had to research, push for treatment and pay for privately.

bigwhitedog · 22/09/2025 16:59

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:51

Because my recent bloods, done during a flare, didn’t show any inflammation they won’t refer me. I’d have to pay private again and I can’t afford it alongside the urologist at the moment.

Go back and see your GP and tell him (not sure if you've said but it's always a man) that many autoimmune diseases don't show on bloods / are seronegative and demand a referral. Bring evidence/referral criteria from NHS/NICE guidelines with you. I'm sorry you're so unwell but this thread is enraging me, a GP is totally unqualified to diagnose this.

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:52

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/09/2025 16:51

I didn’t like pacing. It reduced me to a terrified wreck too scared to move.

Im not sure I could working full time and being a single parent. How do people manage it?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/09/2025 16:51

I didn’t like pacing. It reduced me to a terrified wreck too scared to move.

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:51

Bikergran · 22/09/2025 07:19

Who has diagnosed this? If it's your GP, it's not enough. Ask for a referral to a rheumatologist, preferably one with an interest in connective tissue diseases, they may come up.with a different diagnosis, or at least some helpful treatment. Good luck.

Because my recent bloods, done during a flare, didn’t show any inflammation they won’t refer me. I’d have to pay private again and I can’t afford it alongside the urologist at the moment.

OP posts:
Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:49

GreenGodiva · 22/09/2025 07:29

I’ve got multiple auto immune issues. While I’m not “fixed” I’ve found no end of improvements by improving my diet. I’ve added fermented foods like home made kefir , yogurt and sauerkraut. It all very easy when you get into the swing of things. I make sauerkraut once every 6-8 weeks and then it keeps in the fridge and I do a pint of yogurt /kefir every week. At the same time add inulin add psyllium husk to your diet as this will really help your good got fours to flourish.

I eat porridge with 5 types of mixed nuts or mixed frozen fruit for breakfast. I alternate days.

snack is yogurt with flax seed or chia seed and chopped dates.

lunch is a sliced boiled egg, mixed salad, sauerkraut and protein like ham/tuna/chicken.

snack is fruit or 70+% dark chocolate.

evening meal is whatever we are having like shepherds pie/pea and ham soup with sourdough/pasta/Scouse but I serve everything with a side or two of extra vegetables and I aim for as much diversity as possible while reducing simple carbs.

i still have treats. I make carrot cake and is packed with carrots, apple, coconut sugar and flour and chopped nuts but without the guilt. I have found that my issues are much more stable and that following a healthy diet along with a decent supplement regime it’s controllable .

This is how/what I eat too!

OP posts:
Whentherainwashesyouclean · 22/09/2025 16:48

BarilynBordeaux · 22/09/2025 08:54

I have fibromyalgia on top of my other life limiting illness and it can be hard, but please - if possible - don’t despair! Like another PP I have improved dramatically with the right meds for me (amiltryptiline) and pacing. I’m even about to go into an interview for a new job as I’ve been getting so much better.

It’s disorientating and gutting as a diagnosis (and im one of those ‘after rigorous testing and multiple previous diagnosis’ types) but I try to think of it as it’s a change in landscape not the end of my world. Always around for a dm if you want to talk x

Thank you so much!

Hope the interview went/goes well 🙏

OP posts:
GwenSaturn · 22/09/2025 13:08

It sounds like you had Covid and now you have long Covid. I had a nasty Covid infection in 2020 and I’ve never been the same since. So many people are affected by it and don’t even realise that it’s Covid that’s causing it all. I really hope you find some answers. All I can say for definite is: don’t push through it - it just makes things worse. Rest as much as you can and take good care of yourself.

LovingLimePeer · 22/09/2025 12:41

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 21/09/2025 22:24

I’ve had a plethora of bloods done. Rheumatoid factor and ANA were normal.

Bladder and kidney scans along with a cystoscopy which was normal.

The year before I had an ultrasound for abnormal bleeding but nothing came of it. I’m also on HRT for peri symptoms.

It’s the joint pain and crippling fatigue that are the worst symptoms for me.

Thanks for this. I think there's a lot of 'default fibro' thinking in GP land when they can't figure out what's going on. GPs should be pretty obsessive when ruling stuff out as a missed diagnosis has a huge impact on quality of life.

I think if I were your GP, I would organise:

  1. 9am cortisol level
  2. Referral to rheumatology again to exclude eg. Lupus (which can present with urinary symptoms weirdly).
  3. A 10 minute stand test for PoTS.
I presume you've had repeated bacterial growth on your MSU urine tests from the way you're talking, but if not, PoTS and other widespread syndromes of dysautonomia can cause urinary symptoms.
  1. Lyme serology if you've not had it.
  2. Haemochromatosis has been ruled out by measuring ferritin, right?

Extra thoughts:

  1. Presume you don't have MS symptoms. Any historic strange eye symptoms or sensory/movement loss?
  2. Have you had any mris or just ultrasound?
  3. Presume you don't have conjunctivitis /signs of reactive arthritis.
gmgnts · 22/09/2025 12:17

Take painkillers! If you are in pain it will make your life more bearable. There are no prizes for being a martyr. I hope you feel better soon - sometimes symptoms will lift suddenly for no apparent reason and you may be lucky.

Mondaymorningsgloom · 22/09/2025 12:05

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 21/09/2025 20:02

Long story short I became ill with an unknown virus last summer. I’ve never felt like myself or truly well since. I’ve since developed a chronic UTI that I’m on long term antibiotics for.

I’ve been back and forwards to the doctors with crippling fatigue and joint pain along with nausea, headaches and generally feeling poorly. I can have a few good weeks and then boom, it comes back.

Ive now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. From the research I’ve done it isn’t curable and I feel absolutely devastated that this will be my new normal now.

Im even more frustrated as I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, take drugs or eat ultra processed foods or anything unhealthy. I’ve exercised my whole life. Unfortunately I can only manage walking and Pilates now and that’s becoming too painful.

I work full time and am a single parent to a preteen. I’m terrified of what could happen if I can’t work. I have a mortgage. I’m already struggling so much to get through the days.

Has anyone got any stories of reversing this? I need some hope right now.

Thanks if you made it to the end! X

I can't offer any advice but sorry you are going through this.

Kreepture · 22/09/2025 11:05

Rhuematology diagnosed me with fibro this last month, however, i am probably on the milder end of it, i have friends who are floored regularly by the pain.

I'm already on gabapentin for nerve issues, and naproxen for arthritis, so maybe that is why mine is mostly mild.. think fatigue is really my main horrid symptom currently

I do get joint pain, but i'm dubious on it being Fibro and not perfectly reasonable pain like my private physio said based on my posture and antalgic gait (i have a chronic limp) and using crutches putting stress on all of them.

I told Pain Management clinic to piss off (politely) as i cope well with it imho.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/09/2025 10:42

Hessington · 22/09/2025 10:35

Yes, I was bed bound for 18 months and recovered fully. Read ‘The Way Out’ by Alan Gordon. I know some people are vehemently opposed to the idea that this sort of thing works, but i am living proof that he is right. I spent ££££ trying every treatment under the sun and getting everything investigate whilst o was ill. This was the only thing that worked

I’ve done something similar. Paid a private OTto help me, and a hypnotist to build confidence and reduce anxiety.
I’ve gone from being in bed all day every day to going out, talking with family and friends and just doing more stuff. All in 8 weeks.

I improve every day. I do a lot of talking to my brain to tell it to stop protecting me.

Sk far the horrific parasthesia has gone ( really bad in my eyes) the eye problems that stopped me watching tv and looking at screens have gone, the weakness and breathing difficulties have gone. I still get tired and l m ow there’s a way to go h Tim I’m full recovered. But I’ve literray gone from 0-50 in 8 weeks.

Its been life changing. I also paid out a fortune for things that didn’t work. It’s all about the brain getting stuck and then trying to protect you.

Hessington · 22/09/2025 10:35

Whentherainwashesyouclean · 21/09/2025 20:02

Long story short I became ill with an unknown virus last summer. I’ve never felt like myself or truly well since. I’ve since developed a chronic UTI that I’m on long term antibiotics for.

I’ve been back and forwards to the doctors with crippling fatigue and joint pain along with nausea, headaches and generally feeling poorly. I can have a few good weeks and then boom, it comes back.

Ive now been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. From the research I’ve done it isn’t curable and I feel absolutely devastated that this will be my new normal now.

Im even more frustrated as I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, take drugs or eat ultra processed foods or anything unhealthy. I’ve exercised my whole life. Unfortunately I can only manage walking and Pilates now and that’s becoming too painful.

I work full time and am a single parent to a preteen. I’m terrified of what could happen if I can’t work. I have a mortgage. I’m already struggling so much to get through the days.

Has anyone got any stories of reversing this? I need some hope right now.

Thanks if you made it to the end! X

Yes, I was bed bound for 18 months and recovered fully. Read ‘The Way Out’ by Alan Gordon. I know some people are vehemently opposed to the idea that this sort of thing works, but i am living proof that he is right. I spent ££££ trying every treatment under the sun and getting everything investigate whilst o was ill. This was the only thing that worked

LightsDifficulty · 22/09/2025 10:33

I had something like that and I saw a therapist about 4 times a year for literally a whole decade and then I got better. I also got given a litre of IV saline and antifungal pills, and iv vitamins and got rid of a lot of conflict in my life, so it was hard to pin down what made the difference.

I think the nausea with me was to do with chronic dehydration. It was only after the litre of IV saline that that went away.

Good luck there. It's very hard and I really feel for you. Take care Flowers]