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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel humiliated meeting DP’s best friend for the first time?

131 replies

Masiemaise · 21/09/2025 16:46

I have been with DP for nearly a year but only
met his best friend (and his wife) for the first time last night, as they live a few hours away and had a baby around the time I met DP so haven’t been free to meet up.

We went to a restaurant followed by a couple of bars in the city they are from, so were all a bit tipsy. DP’s friends wife works in the NHS and was talking about some of the strangest things she has seen.

She mentioned people turning up at A&E with items lodged in their bum. DP’s friend commented along the lines of he doesn’t know what would posses anyone to do that sort of thing.

DP then turned to me and said ‘you should see what she’s like when she gets home from bottomless brunch with her friends’ and burst out laughing.

I pulled him up on it last night and again today but he doesn’t see the issue. He has given a half apology but said he was joking and didn’t mean anything by it, and his friend/wife will know it was a joke.

Am I being a bit OTT with my reaction? It felt so unnecessary

OP posts:
JMSA · 21/09/2025 19:16

YABU (sorry!)

FancyQuoter · 21/09/2025 19:12

Masiemaise · 21/09/2025 17:58

Thanks for the replies. We do sometimes ‘explore’ that area which is why the comment irked me I think.

my point in my reply earlier.

Being miffed about it meant it's true 😂

JayJayj · 21/09/2025 19:12

That is something I’d have said about my husband. Even though it’s absolutely not true. It’s clearly a joke.

Maybe you have different sense of humour about things.

SnippySnappy · 21/09/2025 19:08

I'd have found it hilarious and retorted something back. But then my husband and I have a similar sense of humour. I guess you don't.

Blappengrap · 21/09/2025 19:05

I wouldn't find this funny either. To me, it's low intelligence humour, I prefer something more sophisticated.
I would be cross if DH said something like that about me.

LemonTwix · 21/09/2025 19:03

Toesy · 21/09/2025 18:47

I'm a bit wary of men who find it so easy to make their partner the butt of the joke.
Women are always then told to lighten up and not be so sensitive.
OP was meeting these people for the first time, and what she gets up to with her friends is not for him to mock her with.
His half arsed apology wouldn't impress me either.
OP, he sounds like a bit of a twat to be honest.

I agree. There was nothing witty about his comment at all. In front of people she didn’t know he made it sound like OP was desperate for anal sex after getting drunk with her friends. He should have made a joke about himself instead of hauling her into it.

diddl · 21/09/2025 19:03

Masiemaise · 21/09/2025 17:58

Thanks for the replies. We do sometimes ‘explore’ that area which is why the comment irked me I think.

So he's effectively talking about/hinting at your sex life?

No I wouldn't like that either.

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/09/2025 18:56

I wouldn't be with someone who thought saying that was appropriate or funny.

Livelovebehappy · 21/09/2025 18:55

KilkennyCats · 21/09/2025 18:32

😬 Bit of an over share.

Show quote history

😄😄 I thought the same. Now that would make me cringe if brought up in conversation with people I was meeting for the first time….

Thornrose · 21/09/2025 18:54

GlastoNinja · 21/09/2025 16:55

Have you shoved stuff up your wrong’un after a bottomless brunch? That’s the only way this is something to feel embarrassed about.

😂😂😂😂😂

Livelovebehappy · 21/09/2025 18:54

I’m sure they didn't go away thinking you and your dp have a fetish for inserting objects into bum holes OP. I would have actually laughed this off, but I guess a year isn’t long to be learning about each others boundaries. Sounds like your DP will now know you didn’t like his attempt at humour, so will know for future meet-ups.

Chocolateteapot8 · 21/09/2025 18:52

Toesy · 21/09/2025 18:47

I'm a bit wary of men who find it so easy to make their partner the butt of the joke.
Women are always then told to lighten up and not be so sensitive.
OP was meeting these people for the first time, and what she gets up to with her friends is not for him to mock her with.
His half arsed apology wouldn't impress me either.
OP, he sounds like a bit of a twat to be honest.

This

ExtraOnions · 21/09/2025 18:49

I read it as a joke that you are “bottomless” when you come back from the “bottomless brunch”, as in you have no bottom - rather than stuff things up it.
Harmless joke

Toesy · 21/09/2025 18:47

I'm a bit wary of men who find it so easy to make their partner the butt of the joke.
Women are always then told to lighten up and not be so sensitive.
OP was meeting these people for the first time, and what she gets up to with her friends is not for him to mock her with.
His half arsed apology wouldn't impress me either.
OP, he sounds like a bit of a twat to be honest.

SliceofTosst · 21/09/2025 18:46

Would have laughed myself. It's a non starter. Lighten up.

Livpool · 21/09/2025 18:43

Humiliated?? Get a grip - it was a drunken joke. Who cares!

Fedup48 · 21/09/2025 18:42

I would have countered that with something about …you should see the state of him after a night out though .. then proceeded to tell his worst drunk/ sick / hangover story — keep the banter going

NorthernLass2025 · 21/09/2025 18:34

Doesn't look like you have a sense of humour..all would have laughed and moved on in our group

KilkennyCats · 21/09/2025 18:32

Ilovegermany · 21/09/2025 18:08

Oh lighten up. Why “humiliated”? My DP has only 3 fingers on one hand because of an accident and if anyone asks about it when I am there he makes a joke about it still working with my clit.

😬 Bit of an over share.

warmapplepies · 21/09/2025 18:32

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/09/2025 17:17

"She mentioned people turning up at A&E with items lodged in their bum. DP’s friend commented along the lines of he doesn’t know what would posses anyone to do that sort of thing.

DP then turned to me and said ‘you should see what she’s like when she gets home from bottomless brunch with her friends’ and burst out laughing."

So basically he gave this couple the impression that when drunk, you shove things up your anus.

Yeah, I'd be pretty fucked off with him.

Do you always take things so literally and seriously?

SplendidUtterly · 21/09/2025 18:31

He really hit rock bottom with that comment OP.

usedtobeaylis · 21/09/2025 18:28

He might have just meant it as a silly comment but I think it's ok to be annoyed by sexualised jokes where you are the punchline.

EG94 · 21/09/2025 18:28

I have a good sense of humour so wouldn’t bother me and I’d have likely responded with something that embarrassed him more I.e.. yes when I’ve had a few I look for anything I can find to put up your bum don’t I darling.

Dweetfidilove · 21/09/2025 18:26

Westfacing · 21/09/2025 17:28

making me the butt of their joke 😂

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Stop 🤣🤣🤣

MarxistMags · 21/09/2025 18:25

I can't see a problem. Just an off the cuff remark with no malice behind it.
Lighten up