To feel humiliated meeting DP’s best friend for the first time?

He’s tried to make a joke at your expense. Given your update he’s also shared something quite personal with people you don’t know very well.

Id also be fucked off with him

Of course it does. Read it again.

OP, you're either over reacting, or at best you have a very different sense of humour to DP and his best friend.

Either he’s using hyperbole to suggest that after bottomless brunches you like to shove random things up your bum, which although crass, is obviously a joke.

Or he’s trying to insinuate to his friends that when you’ve had a few drinks you’re up for anal. Which is totally out of order really.

If he’s that indiscreet then you’ll always struggle to trust him with boundaries.

Sympathy OP and what's the point in PPs saying, "oh I would have zapped back with something frightfully hilarious and clever". Not everyone can think stuff up on the spot, especially when taken aback at being made the butt of a crude joke in front of people they'd just met.

I don't agree with the PP who said "he sounds really witty". Zero thought and effort in his joke just "lol Maise gets drunk and <implied> does stuff like that lol lol lol bantz".

"Poss he was trying to make sure you were included in the conversation."
Eh? If he was trying to include the OP there are better ways of doing it. Surely you make yourself the butt of the joke unless you're sure that everyone is 100% comfortable? I dunno, something like:
"Oh stop Katie- brings back painful memories of the time poor Maise had to explain to my aunt Sally what happened to the hideous fondue set she regifted us last Christmas and why I wasn't at the Boxing day turkey curry buffet. The Christmas decorations were down before I was able to sit down" or "Bit of a sore spot in our house Katie, I've got a lifetime ban from Pets at Home so Maise has to go and buy the fish food now, it's not even on her way home from work"

YANBU ! This is red flag behaviour. DP is putting you down in front of his friends, to enhance his status with them by making an off colour remark. That's humiliating and disrespectful. You are hardly in a position to speak up and given its the first time of meeting them it's extremely crass and thoughtless of DP. I would consider that red flag behaviour and find it hard to understand other mumsnetters who think it's okay.

It does!

It was a stupid thoughtless comment but I wouldn’t read too much into it.

I cannot stand it when someone jokes about me in the third person. Only ever had one partner joke about me like this and I just found it to be so rude and disrespectful. Maybe I'm uptight too! For me, it's the fact he made you the butt of the joke (sorry) with people you'd only just met. You're still getting to know them and this doesn't just doesn't sit right with me. It's like he's saying it's ok to laugh AT you, which isnt the sort of behaviour I would want to see from a loving and respectful partner.

Having said that, if this isn't part of a pattern, OP try to let it go. It wasn't even a funny joke, and I'm sure his friends have forgotten all about it by now. And hopefully he now knows not to embarrass you like that in future.

Unless he leaned over conspiratorially, looked at them earnestly and delivered the line with no hint at a smile, I should think they got it was a joke.

OP hopefully laughed it off rather than turn bright red and loudly protest her innocence. If so, I’d say no one actually thought he was serious….

I think it’s quite funny 😬 Maybe you’re not compatible.

It was a joke and you need to lighten up!

😂😂 what a splendid response that would have been!

Bum not bumper 😆

Unless you have got a secret penchant for shoving strange things up your bumper, then I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about.

Don't most people make these sort of jokes amongst friendship groups when the drinks have been flowing?

His friend's won't have given it any further thought.

Bit cringe but just a silly joke they will have immediately forgotten.

Just got to the end of the thread and see I am right

He is lax with keeping your private life private.

Throw him back.

WTF?! That’s… so much information.

Was the joke about you or about the wife?
Sorry didnt get it- he turned to you to talk about her- that's how it sounded to me.

I'm assuming your OH had some truth to what he said.

That is why you feel the way you do.

If there is some truth to the situation - then he is one to throw back - a gentleman should never tell.

Joke.com?

Are you really upset because one time you came home drunk from a bottomless brunch and you had anal
sex with him and you think that’s what he was referring to?

This made me chuckle far too much.

I cant stand jokes like this. Dont find it funny at all. Or appropriate.

It was a joke. Stop dragging it out.

Good grief. What op's husband said wouldn't bother me at all but this would feel way too much and I'd be really embarrassed. Each to their own though!