DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

Why can’t you focus on each other at your own home? You can just say no to social events.

It does sound quite boring, OP. "Soaking up time" sounds fine for a weekend, but for weeks in someone else's home doesn't sound like a good time.

I think it sounds like you're focussing, he's bored witless. He's gone along with this idea but it's only to make you happy, good on him. I'd go home tho.

Is it your home or your parents...if your parents yabu. Would you relax at your inlaws house. Tbh I can't understand why you not in your own home as a couple...

The whole set up is a bit weird and tbh I think I'd be bored too.

It all sounds a bit forced. You’re in someone else’s home so he’s probably less comfortable than he would be in your own place, and it’s not like you can really do much other than mooch around. You’re heavily pregnant, you can’t drink, and you’re not on holiday so you’re not exploring new places. I can see why he might be bored. All he’s got to do is silently stress and feel apprehensive about becoming a dad - if he was at work, it would take his mind off what to him probably feels like a slightly tense waiting game. He’s not the pregnant one. He has no hormonal instinct to nest - especially in someone else’s house. I wouldn’t want to await one of the biggest events of my entire life twiddling my thumbs in my in-law’s house either.

She asked is her dh unreasonable
for sharing he’s bored with his friends.That is her aibu.

Not am I being unreasonable for going to my mums where I’m comfortable and enjoying the last week of being pregnant. Oh and I want a home birth.

Who would deny her that? (Apart from a few on here!)? Why would you deny her that unless you considered her needs less than her poor dh, who has not been pregnant, nor had loads of crap going on with his body and has not had to change his lifestyle at all for the past 9 months.

But that week has seriously upset the women of mumsnet! Bless him!!

Its just unusual to have a home birth in someone else’s home though.

I’d feel trapped

Whether it's statistically safer or not is not the point. The point is people picking hospital over home don't have an implicit comment on their homes. People picking others' homes over their own do.

@Bulbsbulbsbulbs is not nasty. It's not nasty to say something to a woman just because she is heavily pregnant. Especially not when she asks on Mumsnet!

You know who didn't say anything, by the way, to complain? The husband. It's her somehow going through his phone AND not having the emotional maturity to realize non-heavily-pregnant people are likely to get bored in their non-parental homes that got her into this tangle to begin with.

Isn't the point of AIBU to say yes or no. So yes maybe this is based on my thoughts, but there isn't anything from her to go on. She hasn't really explained why she felt taking her DP to her parents would be special. As noted in the first post she put 'I was really looking forward to this – time to just slow down, cook together, chat, and just enjoy being the two of us before everything changes.'
I am not the only one who has asked why this couldn't be done in their own home and why this has to be at the parents.
Maybe her DP would be enjoying themselves more if they were in their own home..maybe they don't like rummaging around the in laws cupboards, maybe worry they will break an expensive dish.
Others have queried the home birth and distance from hospital. Plans for after the baby has been born. Will the set up be staying at the parents and when is the plan to return home.

All this is about how you feel.

No but she has posted on AIBU. On the basis of what she has commented, then yes she is being totally unreasonable. Snooping on her partner's phone, moving him into her parents house. Who wants to enjoy us time in their in laws house?!

I was wondering if there was more to the story to make it make sense.

Why would anyone here care that you don’t care about the feelings of some bloke you don’t even know? It’s not relevant to the situation at all whether you care or not.

It’s the OP’s relationship, not yours. Perhaps she does care how the father of her unborn child feels.

Well I genuinely don’t wish for this to sound rude, but none of that is any of your business.

But why isn't she happy in her own home? How long does she plan on staying at the parents house?
Are they both particularly young and she feels she needs her parents or to know she is in their surroundings as this is safer?

I am not sure how pregnancy is hard work and I certainly wouldn't have been happier going to my parents house....I wanted to be home ensuring things were ready (though this was not to be as my first was premature).

Were you like this when you were pregnant? Ie give me what I want because I’m pregnant

She’s happy there. That’s all I need to say ignore his feelings. Being pregnant is bloody hard work.

But like someone said he’s just moaning. That’s ok.

Im sure someone will be along soon to ask about his precious feelings. But I genuinely don’t care.

I didn't think that was the case when it is the first pregnancy? 2+ pregnancies, yes but from what I understand, a first birth at home is riskier than a first birth at hospital.

She’d be a fool to give her reasons on here. It would just be another opportunity for self-righteous poster to pick her apart.

On the NHS there is less risk of serious negative outcomes at a planned home birth than in a hospital. Midwife led units are slightly better. All differences are fairly minimal.

It's a shame OP hasn't really come back to say what is so nice about being in her parents home.
Surely most people when preparing for a baby like to make sure their own home is prepped and ready. I could understand if this post was earlier in the pregnancy and going away for a weekend as just a couple, but to go and stay at the parents house (for an unknown amount of time) seems a bit unusual and there hasn't really been an explanation for it.

On the NHS for uncomplicated births, a home birth holds less risk of serious complications than a hospital birth does. So your reasoning is false.

But even if it were true it would still be a nasty post. OP is heavily pregnant, there is no point in berating her by telling her she’s communicated something negative to her DH. It’s just another poisonous AIBU example.

From my experience I would strongly advise against a home birth OP. I had a textbook delivery with DD, then the placenta wouldn’t come away and I haemorrhaged. Not only would that have been an awful mess at home, I wouldn’t have had the team of people who arrived within what seemed like seconds to sort it out. Friend’s friend’s baby had a really bad infection that wasn’t picked up on a home birth, chances are it would have been in hospital. It’s easy to romanticise the idea of a home birth but reality can be very different.