DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

You know what this grown man could have done if he didn't like the plan or was actually finding it boring after agreeing to it? He could have spoken to his wife rather than whinge to his family.

That's the bit I'd be pissed about if I was the op. It's fine for him to be bored but just talk to her for god's sake!!

YABU I would be bored staying in someone else's home for that long.

Why couldn’t you have done this at home?
he sounds like he’s doing his best. Go home and enjoy your time there.

This is such a weird thing to do. I'd get it was the other way round and if your parents house was closer to the hospital and amenities, but this is just odd. Anyway,if it works for you, it works for you.

Of course it's going to be different for your partner. There is no obvious added convenience for him, plus all the minor inconvenience of not being in his own home. Living in someone else's space is rarely relaxing.

But he's done it for you, and he's clearly not moaning at you as you didn't know he wasn't enjoying it until you saw the messages. I think that's more than enough to expect of him. Expecting him to actually enjoy it is an expectation too far.

You claimed picking the hospital wasn’t a comment on one’s home because you did so because it’s safer. So now claiming the safety of a hospital isn’t relevant seems like you’re back tracking.

OP picked the place she felt most comfortable at giving birth, as do women who pic hospitals - they are all saying they prefer this other place to their own homes. Why would that be a terrible thing to say about your own homes? Almost no one builds their home with a view to the handful of days in their life when they are going to give birth.

It’s not even as though it’s terrible to think that another home mu=ight be cozier than your for a short time. Many people go away every year to a stay in other houses they make their own for a week or two and find cozy/romantic/special. DH and I go away several times a year and stay in homes that are nicer in some ways than our own home. We aren’t communicating anything negative about our home, which we’ve made as suitable for our everyday life as we can, we’re simply enjoying something a bit different for a short while in circumstances that are different from our normal life.

Having a go at a woman for a made up fault is nasty. It wasn’t to do with whether her DH was reasonable to be bored or not. It was just a criticism of the OP for liking her parents house - something she hadn’t asked about at all and which wasn’t relevant to boredom.

Also, heavily pregnant women are dealing with a tonne of hormones that can make keeping things in perspective more difficult. So the emotional maturity dig in your post was uncalled for too. But then you’re defending Bulbsbulbsbulbs nasty post, so it’s not surprising you post in the same vein.

What about his work?

In the nicest way, you seem very self centric. Plenty of people are still working at 39 weeks, if not they're at home binging Netflix while their partner works to max out paternity leave.

Go home!

This all sounds really weird.
Special time = jiggy jiggy but I guess there isn't going to be a lot of that going on in your advanced state of pregnancy.

I am perplexed why you would want to go from your own home/bed/comforts to your parent's house. Could you not have left your dh at home until the action started whilst you relaxed there?

He actually sounds like a real nice guy. He has sucked up your wishes, not shown you that he is bored and has only moaned on his phone.
You should not be looking at his phone! You are just about to have a baby with this fella and the trust is lacking so much that you have looked at his phone.

OP… would you care to share what is your plan re visitors posts birth?

You need to reword This house is like MY own little bubble

and very telling that despite hundreds of posters advising you otherwise, you return to the thread still absolutely dogmatic that this is all “we” and “our” and “we, we, we”

when it is very clearly “I” and “MY”

I would not be happy having to spend the last week of my wife's pregnancy not being alone with her and staying in someone else's house! I can't blame him! Why couldn't your mum come to your house, if you needed her that badly? Put yourself in his shoes! He wants alone time with you in his house. Not someone else's. I'd be furious if I were him. You're being very selfish and unreasonable and unrealistic, and thinking about this completely the wrong way. Also if I were you I'd want to be in my home. So I really don't understand why you want to drag not just yourself but your partner to someone else's house at this most vital time. He must be feeling so overwhelmed and all he'd want is his home!

AIBU to be upset that he isn’t enjoying this “just us” time before the baby?

Yes, YABU. How can he enjoy time with you, when he is in a stranger's (well, she isn't his family) house? He wants to be in his own home, for goodness sake! I would not be able to relax, staying in someone else's home. What were you thinking? go back home, where you both should be, and he can then relax. In his own home. Without the MIL interrupting alone time with you.

Also, He might want to do more fun things, and see friends, while he still has no crying baby at night to keep you both up. Like others have said, hopefully you don't have this romantic idea of what giving birth and motherhood will be like...

I understand he would be bored out of his wits ... I think you've romanticised the idea of 'time as a couple' before the baby comes. Unless you're a very recent couple in sort of 'the honeymoon stage', few men would enjoy being alone with their partner for weeks in this situation, I think. My husband would, but I know men who enjoy this kind of set up are few and far between.

I bet he is anxious too, making him feel more agitated, it's an exciting time, a lot of men don't know what to be doing in the last weeks, my DH was a nervous wreck.
Good luck with the birth plan.
Congratulations 🎊

Find this totally bizarre coming from someone who has had multiple home births for the first to the last twins. Why can't you live life as normal until the labour, we did hubby came home when I rang to tell him to, can't imagine why you would go to your parents house I find that very weird and uncomfortable for your other half. Had ours in 3 different houses and wouldn't change a thing able to carry on with all I wanted till the birth then carry on after. Yes hubby had time off after each was born but other than that wouldn't want him to change his routine before that

How rude to comment on a woman's birth plan when they never asked.

The problem is you won’t know how your birth is going to go until you’re in it. My baby got struck and would have died if I’d attempted a home birth and I hemmarhaged and would possibly have died also.

My second planned induction hospital birth was way less stressful despite being preterm because I knew the doctors were right there as needed. It’s just not a gamble I’d ever be willing to make on my child’s life, just to avoid a night or two in a hospital.

Nonsense. The only women approved for home births are low risk which dramatically skews the data. Again myself and several friends were ‘low risk’ but us or our babies would have died or ended up in serious danger had we not had medical teams arrive in seconds from the emergency button being pressed. Home births aren’t safe for first time pregnancies. Especially in rural areas. Minutes count when you’re bleeding out or your baby is going without oxygen.

Congratulations!

You’ve got those intense nesting feelings but he hasn’t so yes, I guess he will be bored. He won’t be bored soon though! I understand why some time in the countryside would have felt like a good idea though. Enjoy the birth. Ina May Gaskin’s ‘Guide to Childbirth’ is wonderful if you need some reading material.

Exactly. You can’t really potter about and do your hobbies and so on when you are staying away from home. I’d find it really suffocating.

If I was to have a week's emotionally intimate time, relaxing and waiting for a baby, the last place I'd want to do it is in someone else's house, even if they're not there.

In my own house, I'm comfortable and relaxed. I know where everything is and I can occupy myself easily, by just reaching for one of my books, or doing a little task, or cooking from my own freezer/fridge/cupboards with my own stuff. Or just sitting on the sofa that I know, and making coffee with MY coffee in MY mug.

It's way harder to pass time in someone else's house. I loved my in-laws, but there's no way in the world that I'd want to spend a week in their house on our own, and doing so at that point in our lives would be something I'd never even have contemplated.

He agreed to it to make you happy, but it was a really weird thing to ask of him. You're likely to look back on this one day and wonder 'what was I thinking?'. But it's late pregnancy brain I suppose.

This house is like our own little bubble where can focus on each other without feeling like we need to be available for other people socially for a few weeks while we soak up time as a couple

I'm sorry, but this sounds so boring. I'm not surprised your husband isn't enjoying it. You can shut people out of your life in your own home.

If anything, I expect your husband would want to spend time socially with other people before the baby arrives.

Actually the most special time is when your child arrives and you’re suddenly a little family and you fall in love with another little person and the whole adventure of getting to know them. “Cooking and chatting together” will seem completely banal in comparison.

you sound a bit like the baby equivalent of a bridezilla.

it’s a bit twee for my liking and also your partners by the sounds of things

Sometimes I have a vision in my head of how something will be and...it isn't. Examples from my own life:

1. Nearly every new year's eve has been amazing in my head and disappointing irl.
2. I imagined I'd feel swept away by romance and love when a man got down on one knee to propose. Actually, I hated it and wanted him to stand up again immediately!
3. My own hen do. I thought it'd be really fun but I was self-conscious and it felt a bit cringe.

In my experience the higher my expectations are, and the more Forced Fun something is, the more disappointed I've been in reality.

It's sweet that your DH has gone along with what you wanted, but maybe going with the flow a bit more might be better?

I'd be bored to tears in someone else's house.

It sounds like it's right up your street, but he's only going along with it because it is what you wanted. Fair play though, he's obviously doing a good job of hiding it and attempting to make you feel like it is special, it's only the messages you've seen that give away how he really feels.

Would you rather he tell you the truth and then ruin the last bit of freedom you both have?