DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

That wouldn’t be a good idea!
It’s never wise to pry!

Or having a sneaky look through her husband’s messages whilst he’s taking a shower

Maybe OP has gone into labour?

I'm not sure the OP will be back as most replies are team husband. I suspect he is suffering from cabin fever when he would rather make the most of his freedom before the baby is born.

he might find that place a bit boring that’s ok.
you want to rest and nest, he doesn’t have the same hormones. You can tell him you saw it and ask for some reassurance. Or you can accept it’s ok for him to feel a bit bored when you’re not doing much.

I agree with everyone else that he's probably not feeling the cosy nesting instinct like you are, plus being in someone else's home is much less restful than being in your own comfortable space.

But could it also be that he doesn't want to make it sound too good to his employees/colleagues? He may be feeling very aware that he isn't contributing as much at work as he usually would be, and that this will happen a lot more when the baby arrives. It would be understandable if he didn't want them to feel like he's living it up while they're holding the fort.

NM

You've not read the whole thread have? Probably best to do so before correcting other people 🤣 Her parents are abroad

By the sound of the OP, she's in her own delusional self-absorbed bubble and isn't paying attention to anyone or anything around her but herself. I doubt she would listen to him, sadly. She seems to have not considered his needs or wants at all! Staying in someone else's house and having them constantly hanging around is anyone's idea of a nightmare, it's not remotely relaxing. Relaxing is being in your own home.

She doesn't have him to herself though, they aren't alone, the MIL is hanging like a bad smell. Most men would rather pull their teeth out with a knife than stay with their MIL.

I think what you have planned is a nice idea but it possibly sounds a little drawn out. Those last few weeks of pregnancy can really drag out so he might be wondering why you needed to be there for such a long time before.

So he is not allowed to relax in his own home and have to do everything you dictate, he is not a performing seal

And how my is we and how much is you?

I remember the loveliness of bringing my new baby home and settling in as a little family of three and hiding ourselves away……somehow the house just felt so different when there were 3 of us in it and not two, it felt strangely more special and new. I loved seeing my newborns crib in the living room, and nappies and baby-gros lying around etc etc, it really felt like we had started the next chapter of our life and home was now a new one. I genuinely can’t imagine wanting to experience all those new feelings in someone else’s house instead of my own.

Giving birth to your baby in your own home, or bringing them back to your own home from the hospital is such an amazing feeling….. I just can’t get my head around why you’d want to sacrifice that and have your baby’s first experience of being in a home, and it’s first few days/weeks of being in the outside world, as not being in their own home. It’s strange.

It’s lovely that your DH is doing this for you, he clearly loves you and wants to support you, but I imagine he’s quite disappointed that the baby’s first home isn’t going to be the home you share together, and he’s allowed to complain to people that he’s bored too.

@Fruitlips @RedToothBrush @PumpkinsAndCoconuts and @Summerbay23 have all explained it perfectly. When he complained he complained to someone else so he wouldn't upset the OP and she shouldn't have been looking at his private messages.

He’s doing what you want and being amenable. Not fair police his private thoughts as well!

You have what you want be happy about it. anything more is extremely ungracious and petulant.

How is it selfish though? She proposes a plan for the last couple of weeks of her pregnancy. He agrees to the plan. Whatever his motivation for agreeing she presumably didn't have a gun to his head?

The way people are talking about the op on here it's as if she's forced him to do something awful for 2 weeks, she's just asked him to spend a couple of weeks somewhere quiet. The horror!!

I would also suggest that the person who is doing all the hard work of actually birthing a baby might actually have the right to suggest where they want to do that? If the worst thing this poor man has to endure in the last week's of her pregnancy is a bit of boredom, then I'd suggest he's probably doing ok...

Because I suspect that her husband would very much love to see friends but the OP wants to cut him off and have him all to herself.

Indeed.

The phrasing of This house is like our own little bubble where can focus on each other without feeling like we need to be available for other people socially for a few weeks while we soak up time as a couple is really telling.

The OP is so focused on each other, she failed to notice that her other half hated being there and had no idea he was bored. Instead of him being able to tell her how he felt in this shared feelings utopia he didn't think he could tell her how he was bored.

It's total bollocks to say she was remotely interested in her partner's feelings. She had decided that's what they were doing and that's what was best and romanced it as 'special time together'. Rather than admitting it's her dictating what they should be doing and actually having an equal relationship at a key time. It's really unhealthy and actually rather than being angry and annoyed at him, she needs to take a long hard look in the mirror here.

This was all about her and he has been passive rather than complaining. That's not healthy when about to have a baby cos it's liable to all come out in the wash in a couple of weeks of sleep deprivation.

What is clear from him messaging others, is that he needs support from others rather than being forceably isolated. He isn't going to be able to best support the OP on the big day if he doesn't feel supported too. The idea that a couple should only have each other for support for birth is naive. As soon as the woman is in labour, she's sure as shit not giving the man support! So where does he find that support?

The OP has created a situation which is super controlling, blinkered and self centered.

I can't help but think there's a back story of insecurity or a possible history of cheating somewhere in this mix too. I get the sense the OP doesn't trust her other half and is suspicious of his relationship with colleague.

Either way, this romanced idea of a perfect bubble has just popped because it's utter bullshit to try and gloss over clear flaws in the relationship and problems with communication in the relationship

Or she could avoid reading his private messages and not be the thought police.

Exactly - OP, what is the reasoning behind it?

This. I would definitely want to be at home. I’d want to be getting on with the usual jobs and normal life. I can completely understand why your husband is bored.

Yep.

maybe OP’s DH would have liked to spend these weeks being as social as possible before you they get caught up in the new born stage. Or maybe his brain simply needs something else to truly relax. Maybe more structure, more variety, more external inputs etc… seems like he agreed to this to make his heavily pregnant wife happy.

This house is like our own little bubble where can focus on each other without feeling like we need to be available for other people socially for a few weeks while we soak up time as a couple. We aren’t in the middle of nowhere and if we wanted to go to the cinema or out for dinner then we can drive there.

that sounds like a lovely plan! But is it possible that this is your idea of a lovely little bubble? And not his?

Maybe he simply went along with your plan because he wants to make you happy, give you whatever you want/need before you give birth. And not because the idea actually appealed to him personally…

The "special time" that DH and I had was when I was 6 months pregnant and we enjoyed a lovely long weekend away in Suffolk. Just staying in someone else's house doing nothing is really boring.

He was probably trying not to upset her. I think she is being very selfish.