DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

It does sound a bit boring to me, sorry! Why do you need to ‘soak up’ couple time? Are you a new couple? Do you not feel secure as a couple? Now is the time to go and do things, see some shows, have some fancy dinners. When the baby arrives you are going to be stuck at home with only each other for company - so much couple time! Have some excitement whilst you can!

What do you mean by focus on each other? It just sounds like a boring holiday for you that meets your needs but not his.

remember that for men, literally nothing changes whilst they await the birth of their child. You’re the one growing the child, not him, so he isn’t going to need a “break” to “slow down” and “relax” as such. He’s already relaxed, he isn’t fatigued, and taking time to sit around and chat is boring?

Little bubble, reminds me of lockdown! Urghh!

If you had stayed at your own house, what would he be doing differently?

I’m imagining that episode of SATC when Miranda and Steve go on honeymoon and she’s struggling with all the romance, sex and no TV or phone signal. 😄

Thank fuck your special time wasn't a euphemism for sex

I'd rather being doing that that sitting around doing nothing honestly (and I am damn sure DH would!). I mentioned upthread that I went into labour a few hours after a spicy soup at a dinner, I forgot to mention that we also had some nice sex that night, which also may have had something to do with it!

I do mean this with kindness but maybe that’s not what he wants before the baby comes. Maybe he feels he needs some space and freedom before everything changes and things currently feel a bit suffocating.

It should be ok for you both to try and have what you need right now. Find a balance.

I had my oldest nearly 32 years ago. I'm sure back in the day we just got on with it and grabbed every chance to be sociable. The bubble would be too much for me. Maybe it is for your dh.

Three days before my first was born, 4 weeks early though, I was in charge of a major regatta at the sailing club, as I had stopped racing at 6 months it was assumed I would be Officer of the Day every weekend! My waters broke the following day and I was made to stay in hospital so I marked the end of term exam papers from the job I'd left a couple of weeks earlier and wrote my piece for the local paper about the Regatta! Such a 'special time', having a baby was almost a rest cure!

Well, yes. Most people spend the time doing all the things you won’t be doing for quite a while after the baby arrives - eating out, cinema/theatre/gigs (whatever you usually do), meeting friends in the pub, etc.
Cocooning yourselves away is the very last thing on most people’s minds, I find it so odd.

OP, enjoy your relaxing time before the baby is born, I’m sure you’ll both look back and laugh at the idea of sitting around getting bored when you’ve got a toddler on the go 24/7.
It’s a tense time waiting for the first one, you don’t know what’s going to happen, but it’s coming! I did jigsaws, I was fidgety and bored and uncomfortable, but I have never had the time (or ability to keep one from getting ruined by children) since then.

He probably is bored. Tell him to suck it up and watch a box set.

I’d just chalk this up to one of those awkward situations where you read a message about yourself/not meant for you. He might be bored, but he is there and it’s not for long, so is it that big a deal? If you do it again in future then maybe you can choose a different way, but I’d just accept that it’s not what he would choose but you’re there now and it’s just for a relatively short period. I don’t think there’s a need to overthink it.

Personally I have the kind of relationship with DH where I could just easily say ‘Whoops, accidentally saw message from X when sorting your Bluetooth, I didn’t realise you were bored! What can we do?’ And we would have a chat about it.

When my first baby was due (and overdue) we were finishing off DIY jobs, going out for dinner and to the theatre. I went to a friend's wedding 2 hours away when I was a week overdue. I can't imagine setting up in someone else's house to twiddle my thumbs and wait for a few weeks.

He will be really bored, on edge, and fed up.

Why aren't you doing things before you have baby?

Tbh this is a bit odd for me. At 39 weeks i wanted to be in my own home, not my mums house.

DH definitely wouldn't have loved being there - its just not the same sense of home relaxation in someone else's home without your own stuff around.

Thank fuck your special time wasn't a euphemism for sex

it all sounds. A bit princess. Poor husband.

Thank fuck your special time wasn't a euphemism for sex

it all sounds. A bit princess. Poor husband.

Genuine question. Given your parents are abroad, why are you not birthing your baby at your house? Is it due to lack of space?

This house is like our own little bubble where can focus on each other without feeling like we need to be available for other people socially for a few weeks while we soak up time as a couple

Honestly this sounds insufferable, suffocating and dull. I have to assume he's on your wavelength since he's married to you but most people would find spending time described like that ⬆️ to be dreadful.

Yes, I think you are being unreasonable, and a bit selfish.

I mean, one might say 'if you can't be selfish when you're pregnant, when can you be?' And - yeah, okay. But justifiable selfishness is still selfishness.

It sounds to me that he thought this might be a reasonable plan in the early days of pregnancy and wanted to make you happy by agreeing to things that you wanted to do. But now he's wishing he was in his own space and able to carry on with his usual routines. It does sound really boring OP.

Why can't you cook together and talk in your own home? I assume you have a home? I wouldn't want to go and stay in someone else's house to wait for my child to arrive, you should have stayed in your own home and done those things. Even with your parent's not there, he's staying in someone else's house away from his life. Obviously you can give birth wherever you like or feel comfortable, but he doesn't have to be thrilled spending weeks on end as a guest in someone else's house away from his own life. It is a bit odd you want to give birth in your parent's house rather than your own home.

Snap I couldn’t think of anything worse than giving birth with family there. I wanted to be in my own home in the weeks before birth nesting.

I wouldn’t be worried he is bored but I would be worried he told other family members and not you.