DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

I can’t understand why someone would want a home birth somewhere that’s not their home and I can’t understand why the owners of the house would want that when they aren’t there.

I think your partner would very much prefer to be in his own home.

Surely not. No one goes to a different house at 39 weeks with the intention of having a home birth back at their own house. A big benefit of a home birth is not having to travel while in labour.

I can’t have been the only one who in the last week sat most of the time in the nursery, whether doing laundry, watching Netflix or just folding and re folding!

I don’t really understand why you’ve gone. You’ve had to pack, travel, you don’t have all your stuff, you’re having a home birth there so at some point will have to take the baby home? Having a home birth at someone else’s house and then having to go home sounds like a pain in the arse.

Either option is weird

if back in the city, you’d think at 39 weeks and wanting a home birth, you’d prefer to be at home!

Why couldn't you chat, cook, relax etc in your own home?

That’s not how it reads.

But why didn't you stay at home? It's very odd. Can you go home?

And how did you see the messages? Bluetooth on all my various phones have been completely separate from SMS, WhatsApp etc.

I don’t get why you’re not in your own home? If I’m off work, I like to be in my own house where I all my things are and where I can potter about with things, unless of course I’m on holiday and actually out doing things. If I was just sitting around somewhere else, I’d be bored too.

I think the op meant it’s sorted back in the city

It does sound like you’ve intentionally separated him from his whole network - friends, hobbies, however he usually spends his downtime so you can have him entirely to yourself.
How suffocated he must feel.

we’d spend from 39 weeks onwards at my parents’ home, a little way out of the city, so I could relax before the baby arrived. Everything is sorted for a home birth there.

Am I the only one that thinks it’s odd to want to give birth in your parents’ home?

But earlier, while trying to connect his phone to Bluetooth, I saw messages between him and a female family member (and her DH – they both work for his business). He was moaning about how bored he is here.

How did him trying to connect to blue tooth result in you being able to see a message exchange?

this just got odder so he’s away from his own home and creature comforts, and kipping at his in laws, to cook and spend time together… when you could have just done that at home.

not like you’ll be hiking in the country

Sorry op, this wouldnt be for me. It sounds pretty suffocating, unnecessary, and very twee.

But if he knew it wouldnt be his thing he shouldn't have agreed to it.

If hes now realising its not for him, then i think hes allowed to find it boring now.

This sounds like an odd setup. Basically, if he’s being a kind a loving partner to you, great. But he is allowed to have his own feelings about things and it does sound a bit stifling and claustrophobic to me.

Even stranger then.

Why not your own home?

Gosh I couldn't relax before baby arrived it was like relaxing at a station while waiting for a train to arrive. If you parents are living there then you are being wildly unreasonable and romanticising unnecessarily about this special time. How could you husband relax with inlaws while waiting for baby. Also he might be stressing about work and trying to get stuff done before baby comes. Most people are working up to the date , this is a bit of a luxury. Accept that you have different takes on this time and do your own thing..

Tbh, hanging out at someone else's parents house while trying to work and having to have deep conversations intermittently does sound really shit. Good on him for going, he's clearly trying but you have planned something very tedious. If the baby is late, are you going to be doing this for 3 whole weeks??

But why do you want to be in someone else’s home instead of your own?

YABU - it does sound boring. Presumably he’s not seeing his friends, going to the gym or hobbies? Are you going out in the evenings and weekends? Or is it only working at home and staying home?

Also don’t understand why you didn’t stay in your own home - more work to go to your parents I’d have thought

He isn't pregnant, he doesn't go through the same motions as you.

agree, picking your parents home for this periods is odd. I would have just stayed in my own 4 walls. this 'just the 2 of of us cooking and chatting time before the baby arrives' sounds quite forced. It just isn't for everyone.

Just chillax, put your legs up, let's him or your parents pamper you and don't overthink it.

Oh I don't know it all sounds very dreamy and sugary sweet OP, like something out of a Mills and Boon?

It might be ok for you, but it doesn't sound as though it is for him.

Could you not spend time together in your own home?