DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

My DH’s parents live in a nice (objectively) house in the country. He loves going there. It bores me to tears, whether they’re there or not. I can never properly relax because it’s not my house, there’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, I can’t treat it as my home the way DH can, and I feel so claustrophobic I want to scream and run away. Can you tell I’m feeling your DH here 😂

Where does op say she's giving birth there?

I wanted to get out before babies were born knowing if be in the house more afterwards. Sounds like your DH would be more comfortable in his own home rather than at in-laws home.

IF it really is that she's sorted having a home birth at her parents' house (rather than her own home), that might complicate a return - but please correct me if it's relatively easy, as I have no experience of any sort of birth!

I dont know why but im picturing somewhere like Ferris Buellers mate Fry's house.

Or like you get in horror films where its people padding around the house in cashmere socks and oversized shirts and shorts, sipping coffee while waiting for the popcorn to cook....then the phone rings.....

How bizarre-why don't you just stay in your own home and relax?!

I presume he thinks it's a bonkers idea but is doing it to try to keep you happy. Doesn't mean he wants to be there though. I'd much rather be at home.

I wouldn't find this at all relaxing if I were him. I can understand you enjoying it though. Can you smile and head home early, now that you realise he's not enjoying it?

Or felt cornered

Be reassured that he must really care about you to go along with this bizarre set up, he’s trying to work and now you are trying to police his feelings. This is real life not a soppy American film where you retreat to your teenage bedroom, with old pop star posters on your wall, at major life points.

Before you were pregnant when the two of you had time off together how would you spend it? If you would spend it somewhere away from it all cooking, chatting and watching TV but he’s no longer enjoying those things with you then yes, I would probably feel a bit worried something was missing from the relationship. If you were more likely to spend time off together going out to places and spending time in the city or away from the house then I wouldn’t be upset, if he usually enjoys being busy then of course a week doing nothing in someone else’s home is going to feel a bit boring. It sounds like you’ve decided how you want to spend your last week as a childfree couple and he’s gone along with it but if his idea of enjoying your last childfree week together would have been enjoying the last chance to go to a restaurant or a museum or the pub or the cinema etc together you can’t blame him for being bored.

I'm confused.

What can you do at your parents home that you can't do at your own?

I'd have thought being away from home at 39 weeks is the last thing you'd want?
What if you went into labour?

(however, I'm also confused about where the home birth is meant to be happening?)

Holiday cottage somewhere different? Maybe.
The IL’s? No, not for me either.

I LOVED giving birth in a hospital!! Love all the machinery and medics and knowing that all immediately on hand if the shit hit the fan.

It didn’t thankfully but comfort knowing all there.

plus… I loved coming home as a three, and then a four.

but either way… to have a home birth at your parents, how have you managed that op? Presumably with private doula as your midwife won’t travel until your parents live close to you in the city?

Aw sorry OP I found this quite funny. I think it is the hormonal nesting urge you have and he hasn’t - it’s a sweet idea but can see how the reality may be different. Hope the birth goes well x

I think it's really odd, and I've had two home births!

Is it just me who thought OP was using “special time” as a twee way of talking about having sex?

Go home. To your own home. What's wrong with that? Do you hate your own home for some reason?

I'd never have wanted to give birth at my parents' house whether they were there or not! That seems very odd to me. I'd have been "nesting" in my own place, where the baby would actually be living once born.

Your DP probably feels very cut off at your parents' house. He might want to go home. I would.

Do you parents have a luxurious romantic house? In a lovely location?

This sounds absolutely nuts. I can't think for the life of me why you're staying in your parents house to give birth while they're not even there. No wonder your DP is bored. He won't be able to relax in his own space at all.

Why did you think he would enjoy some special time in your parents house? It's a bit odd. He's humouring you going there because you are the pregnant one, but it's a little irrational to be hurt that he's not loving being at his in-laws house

I agree with pp. I've no idea why you moved for the birth. Also, why do you want a home birth there?
Surely there will be a lot of upheaval when you return back home?

I'm old-fashioned enough to think it's odd to want to give birth anywhere else but a hospital, especially for a first birth, and especially "a little way out of the city". Our DGS was born by emergency caesarean last year we were very glad that DDIL was in a nice modern hospital when that became necessary, rather than an hour away by return ambulance ride.

Very weird then

It makes no sense to me to be in someone else's home at this time rather than your own, however.

He probably is bored away from home.
A lesson not to read other’s private messages/thoughts. Rather like reading a diary.