DP not enjoying our “Special time” before the baby arrives.

My goodness I would have hated this, never mind DH! It sounds really boring. I left work on the Friday afternoon and my elective CS was booked for the Monday morning, so we planned to have people around for dinner each night over the weekend as we probably wouldn't really be able to entertain for a while. Unfortunately the Friday night dinner people brought quite a spicy soup, and I went into labour that night and had to have an emergency CS instead! So no relaxing weekend for us! That was fine by me, I have never liked hanging around waiting for anything.

But everyone is different, which is a great thing. If you are doing what you want and DH is indulging your wishes that is nice, I wouldn't get at him about it.

I don't understand how it is 'special time' when it is just time together in another person's house?

My ex-H and I did lots of 'special time' before the birth - spa hotels and walking trips, not living in either of our parents' houses!

He's doing what you want because you are giving birth to his child and he loves you. He doesn't have to like it.

Of course he's bored, I would be too but he's doing what you want because it's important that you feel comfortable.

How far is the nearest hospital? I hope it isn't super far just in case you need to transfer to the hospital.

My thought was this too.. I honestly wish you well OP but country house, birth pool, home birth… i would wait to see how you feel after the first decent contractions!

Honestly DH and I were both bored out of our minds waiting for baby to come, I was glad u worked up until the week of my due date. We went for lunch and walks but time just dragged, we couldn’t do anything particularly interesting. We went shopping to get DH a suit for our friends wedding the day before I gave birth just to give me a reason to get out!

After baby arrives many, many “date nights” for the next few years will be spent cooking and chatting together - I would make the most of doing anything you can’t do with a baby in tow - cinema, go for a swim together etc.

I think it’s reasonable to ask him to come with you if you are somewhere that is comfortable and calming for you, you are the one who is about to give birth and your comfort is key at the moment, not his. However, to be fair to him he has come with you and from what you have said, it doesn’t sound like he has kicked up a fuss about it so he is doing what is best for you and trying to be supportive.

You are not being unreasonable to expect his support but you can’t force him to enjoy it. It’s not his house or even his parent's house so it’s not the same for him.

My advice is to get off of this chat thread and go and have a chat with him directly.

Yeah, that’s bit bizarre!

Makes it all the more weird then!
“ special time” in parents house??

Why aren’t you all set up for a home birth at your house? Surely everything you need is there? Is it a space issue?

many many women find staying home with a baby "boring", and many women find maternity leave excruciatingly numbingly boring.

I thought it was a great holiday, don't get me wrong (giving birth was NOT fun) but it's also normal and natural to be bored.

Not being in your own home is very boring after a while anyway, even worst with a baby

I’d go home then. Staying at your parents house for relaxing purposes has not worked out.

It makes sense to feel extremely uncomfortable. You live nearby and he’s moved into the in laws to have a baby when they’re on holiday. I’m not sure i understand why… I personally felt extremely uncomfortable whenever i was at the in laws!

Don’t worry he won’t be bored in a week or two or ever again. Plenty of jobs to be doing and being a parent is definitely not boring. It’s never ending things to do. But not fun things.

Gosh, go home and have the baby at your house. Just ‘set it up’ for a home birth like you have at your parents house

But will your parents be home by the time you are due ?

Why on earth you want to have your baby in someone else's home is beyond me

How long are you planning on staying after the birth ?

I guess it is your childhood home ?

Agree. I can't imagine.

I think you have had a nice romantic idea that hasn't translated well into reality tbh.

The message you are sending him is that the home you have created together is not good enough.

Its not his 'home' where you are now and you seem to feel it is your home. So again, not a great message.

He's allowed to be bored and to moan about it. Most people prefer to relax in their own home.

So it’s the same hospital? So you must live very close to your parents anyway. So either you’re not all the city central or they’re not all that country ish.

and I suspect your husband has had to spend many a weekend with his in-laws given you live to close so why he’s want to go back for a week…, is all the odder

What you describe would be a nightmare for me if I were your DP:

• uprooted from my home and home comforts
• by the sounds of things not much to do around especially if it’s a nice day
• cooking together- takes at least twice the time and by the end of it I feel like whacking my DP with a pan

What can he not do in this house that he can do at home? No local shop/pub/cafes?

you want to go to another home and stay their in preparation for arrival of baby. Your dh has accommodated you I this without a fuss, he is not enjoyed it and not told you this, but kept it to himself

but you are now pissed because he isn't enjoying his time, even though he is doing it for you and doing it without complaint

get a grip

Why not have conversation with him about it to see what you can do to make the 'just us' time work for both of you?

But earlier, while trying to connect his phone to Bluetooth, I saw messages between him and a female family member (and her DH – they both work for his business). He was moaning about how bored he is here.
I feel a bit crushed. I thought this was a special time for us, but clearly he’s not feeling the same.
AIBU to be upset that he isn’t enjoying this “just us” time before the baby? Or do I need to accept that he might just find it boring, even if I don’t?

Instead of feeling crushed that he doesn’t like exactly what you like at this point in time, couldn’t you take from it that he appreciates what you’re going through and loves you so much that he’ll do exactly what you want in the last weeks of pregnancy?

Him being bored doesn’t mean it isn’t a special time for him. He wants you to have the pregnancy and birth experience that suits you and he’ll happily be a bit bored to make that happen for you. True love does not require your partner to feel what you feel all the time. Love accepts differences is and is prepared to sacrifice for the happiness of the other.