Never having sex again

Now at 27.. no thank you!

at 40 I feel the exact same! after I left my ex 4 years ago. I have had zero desire to want or be wanted by someone! I've been asked out and I literally cannot be arsed! the endless talking, explaining, effort etc. nope. I'm good! and good for you!

Who says a healthy human body has a sex drive? According to whom?

This kind of nonsense is why people with low / no sex drives feel the need to pathologise themselves.

The part about a sex drive being necessary for blood flow to certain areas sounds like Pseudoscience.

A lack of sex drive is no worse than a high one.

I think a healthy human body tends to have a sex drive. If you don't have one, especially if you used to, I think it's a sign something is wrong.

Also having a healthy sex drive is important for keeping blood flowing to the areas that tend to atrophy with age if you neglect them.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of other things to do with your time I just personally worry if I don't feel sexual in any way. It's just part of having a human body.

I went through a phase after having kids (probably from about 35) where I had no libido at all. It came back with a vengeance at about 43. I'm 47 now and it's better than when I was in my 20s.

I'm mid 50's and felt the same when my marriage ended 10 years ago.

However, since meeting DP I can't imagine ever not wanting it!

52 here and not had sex (been single, not dating or in a relationship) since I was 41.

It wasn't really a plan it's just the way life worked out and I have been very busy with other things.

Life has gotten quieter and more time for myself now and I am working on my health with a view to giving relationships another go.

For the most part I haven't really missed it but like I said I have been very busy and not really in a 'sex place' if that makes sense.

Now I have more rest and the future looks brighter I do feel my sex drive coming back. Still having fairly regular periods so guessing I am in perimenopause just now as my cycle has started to get a bit shorter.

So yes I am hopeful now after a pretty hard working, difficult at times 11 years that the next 10 will be filled with love, sex, romance and socialising. Luckily I no longer have to work and so I plan on making up for lost time.

Course mother nature might just decide to kill of my sex drive in the next 12 months but even so I would still like to meet someone just for company, cuddles, affection and yes I always enjoyed nice sex with past partners espcially the ones that were good at oral. So I Know I will still find some enjoyment in it even if my drive dips again.

Obviously facing an ageing face and body now but in a weird way I'm actually more accepting of it and fully expect any guy to be the same although I no doubt will still have some worries.

I feel sad if I think there will be no more cuddles and handholding, love and sex so I'm not done yet.

Course it all depends on finding someone I can see myself doing all that with and I've no idea how easy that will be.

I'm gonna try though. I'm also looking forward to being 60 or 65 plus (whenever it happens) and having no sex drive. This is the point I will get lots of pets and eat icecream and whatever I fancy all day long will watching Colin Firth in Pride and Predjudice another 100 times.

Sounds like she has raised her standards. Which is why she is single.

More a case of them being happy to marry a complete oaf and then spend their lives complaining about them?

Do people not discuss things like the sharing of housework and childcare before moving in together?

Says who? Why is it a bad sign? It literally harms nobody.

It sounds awful. Years of making myself have painful, unwanted sex in return for financial support.

Ooof.

I am fine being single and have zero desire to actively date to try and change that. My genetic programming is clearly broken.

Haha loads of good men out there - right all these moany woman with their high expectations

It is that woman have raised their expectations so many are now realising what generations of woman before us put up with because there were so few options open to them

That's what has changed

But they aren’t. There isn’t loads of good men out there.

You need to raise yours if that’s what you think.

There are loads of good men out there.

Why not just raise your standards when looking for a partner?

I love this @Fishingboatbobbingnight enjoy

Careful what you wish for! Sex was never that great but when I developed Lichen Sclerosis it was never an issue again. Tears and bleeding and uncontrollable itching saw to that. Now my skin is sloughing off all the time, it itches, is sore and some bits have disappeared all together. What's left wants to fuse together (hence the ref to sewing it up) and that's a full time job stopping that.

@Hithismyname I think a lot of women ( not all by any means) do feel like this , but they want a partner and often kids so it’s kind of a necessity - problem is once you have the long term partner and the kids it then becomes much harder to fake any regular enthusiasm - the only two women I know who genuinely are really into it ‘a lot’ - neither have kids and neither are married but do like a lot of male attention

You need to look at using Estradiol (estrogen) cream as it can be effective in preventing recurrent urinary tract infections (UTIs) in postmenopausal women.

I love my own bed and the safe, cozy feeling of sleeping alone.

I love this sentence - it's so true too. It's so nice snuggling into bed, knowing you can read or not, light on or not, sleep in any position you like etc. I know some people have to deal with snoring but my ex also used to turn over in a ridiculously energetic way and shake the whole bed and it was so incredibly annoying. I love going to bed now on my own (well plus the cat)

@dandeb that isn't right or fair at all and you and her need to have a discussion about the practicalities of ending the marriage with no fault or hard feelings. Everyone is entitled to want, or not want, sex within a relationship, but changing the parameters so completely from a sexual relationship to an asexual one requires open discussion about the future.

About 50. After a full hysterectomy. It just doesn't occur to me to want it. I had a big sex drive before then. Now, the thought of doing it gives me the ick. We're all different, aren't we? What's right for some isn't right for others. I'm happy, he's happy. We're still very much in love. I think even if Henry Cavill knocked on my door wanting to ravish me, I don't think I could muster up the will. (Sorry, Henry, my love. X)

I think the general calibre of hotness is higher in London @VoltaireMittyDream because it's trendy. More importantly though, because it's wealthy with a higher percentage of childless people, who aren't stumbling about exhausted and smeared with porridge. There are definitely places where I've noticed the bar is set quite low too.

Thinking back, a surprising number of my friends said this. Some even said they were dead horny when trying to conceive but, otherwise, zero interest. I thought it might be due to fatigue with young children, post partum damage or discomfort with their changed bodies. But maybe it goes deeper than that? Could some women be 'programmed' to want sex only while trying to make babies? 🤔

I am quite happy never having it again, I'm 40's but I am alone.

I think if I was really attracted to someone then yes I might change my mind. But when I look at men my age and older (and most want a younger partner), they just do nothing for me. Most are not well presented and do absolutely nothing for me, the older they are the less attractive I generally find them. I think men are at their best in their 30's! So that doesn't fill me with hope that I'd ever have it again, even if I wanted to!