Never having sex again

Been there. Done that. Don't want sex with an innie or an outie. No sex is just that. No sex.

Nah, it means disinterested straight women. Nothing disappointing about not being tied to a man. It's a preferential life choice.

Why is it baffling that people are not fussed by no longer doing something they no longer have an interest in?

I think you haven't quite got the science on evolution down pat, particularly as it pertains to social characteristics rather than physical ones.

Animals can adapt to changing environments very, very quickly.

Haha, no, women do nothing for me! I had my "experimental phase" at uni... not for me, did nothing for me - just felt weird! no desire to go near someone elses vagina!

No it isn’t. Evolution takes millions of years.

We’ve only had choices properly about contraception for about 60 or so years.

Millions of years ago is irrelevant. Hundreds of years ago is irrelevant. Twenty years ago is irrelevant! Humans have continued to evolve according to the society they find themselves in and the medical/scientific developments they have access to.

Women may not have had a choice other than to get pregnant 1000 years ago but that doesn't necessarily correlate with their desires.

And what this has to do with wanting sex or not in your 50s beats me. It's clearly an individual thing which is different from woman to woman so it's OK to just say "I, personally, no longer have a sex drive" rather than trying to claim it's some sort of evolutionary rule that curiously doesn't even apply to half the women in this thread.

@MischiefandMayhemManaged

would you consider sex with a woman? Trying that?

I wonder if some of the women on here who lost their interest early on might actually be gay

I was 25 - Happily sex free, and the thought of it makes me want to puke.
It was ok i guess, but tbh i didnt find it particularly mind blowing, or particularly fun - and now the though of a mans dick is repulsive.

Im still attracted to men, still flirt if i like someone, but dead from the waist down and happily so!

But that’s your issue.

Biology and evolution has been around for millions of years. And the main object then was to produce enough children. There was no choice. So what you feel doesn’t really wipe out millions of years of evolution.

I really don't take evolutionary arguments seriously, sorry. As a child-free woman who's never felt the urge to reproduce, whenever I see someone say "it's nature's way" or "you can't fight your biology" it feels like being called an unnatural deviant.

And clearly on this thread there are plenty of women who enjoy sex into their 50s and beyond so even if there's a bit of a link to the menopause it's not exactly a hard and fast rule.

Yeah I'm not doubting your experience, I'm just saying that the pleasure I've had in my life from sex (and food, and music) has been incredible, to the extent that if I lost that sense I'd be quite distressed. Not relieved.

I do agree re: communication being key to good sex. The worst sex I've had was when I was younger and just lay there expecting chemistry to happen magically. The minute I actually spoke up and told men to do that, not that, for the love of god slow down, let me take charge etc - it all improved exponentially.

And when actually finding a partner, sexual compatibility was key. A lot of "incompatible" sex isn't their fault or your fault, you just don't get off on the same things and that's OK. But a lot of women seem to marry them anyway?!

I’ve never been with a bad lover.

Still no interest.

It doesn’t seem that weird to me that a lot of women lose interest at menopause. They don’t need a sex drive anymore. 100’s of years ago they would be dead. As would the men. Isn’t this natures way of ensuring that enough younger women get pregnant?

But lots of things can impact sex drive. Mine has nosedived in perimenopuase and at the moment due to another issue I can’t have HRT.
So there is no fix for that. I used to have a good sex drive and have had plenty of good sex in my life. But I don’t miss it at all at the moment. So yes it is just like losing a sense but what do you expect me to do about it??

I also don’t think men should be completely blamed for bad sex. Too many women don’t actually speak up and say what they like and expect them to be mind readers. If I don’t enjoy what a partner is doing I show/tell them what I like. Too many women seem to just lie there and say nothing. I’ve never had bad sex with someone because I have intervened if I wasn’t enjoying it. I can’t quite fathom being that passive.

here asexuality means disappointed straight women.

I also find the prevailing revulsion at all things sexual on MN to be quite peculiar.

I'm assuming asexuality is far more common than it's generally thought, given the number of women who say they've never enjoyed sex.

Or a lot of women have just never experienced a good sexual partner (very plausible, given the proportion of men who are good at it). Because the ones who say they used to have a sex drive but are relieved that it's gone are the most baffling to me. Sex has generally given, and continues to give, me enough pleasure that if I stopped wanting it I'd be quite unhappy, and a bit alarmed. It would be like suddenly losing my sense of taste, or suddenly getting no pleasure from music.

have you been on the dating apps lately?

this site is full of women being cheated on, abused or just low key treated like a drudge.

In real life, even the men who start out the most devoted end up being awful after marriage.

this is what I mean about being groomed by Disney. Most men aren’t chivalrous princes in my experience. Is sex with the hottest ones worth all the downsides? Not sure it is any more. Maybe in my 20s it was fun. Now I just want to play with my cats.

What basic thing?

How can you not see this basic thing?

It has been very different, but I don't believe any of that was related to being in a relationship or not being in a relationship. I have never been in a relationship though, so strictly speaking I have no basis for comparison, but I don't see how the "relationship" aspect per se makes it better or worse.

Eh? Is sex is always exactly the same for you, no matter the context or the partner?

So you don’t enjoy sex with your partner because you love him, just because you enjoy sex?

How bleak and empty is that?

I thought Demi sexual meant people only feel attraction when they know someone.

I can feel very attracted to someone who l’ve just met. Wouldn’t want to sleep with them though until l knew them better.

Mars bars have a consistent ingredients list, recipe and taste. To compare this to sexual activity which varies wildly is incredibly stupid.