Never having sex again

I was 42. Now 45, happier than ever, without exaggeration.

I’m 51 and feel the same. After my initial post I thought about it and can remember I enjoyed sex in my 30’s but I was a heavy weed smoker then and that is the most intense aphrodisiac! Even in my 20’s I never fully liked it as was obsessed with my fat disgusting body (I weighed 8 stone ffs!! But eating disorders don’t see the truth) but yeh, menopause just kills everything sadly. I feel sad for my husband who really misses intimacy but we are so close in other ways, best friends I suppose but is that really healthy in a marriage?

I had a horrendous time with meno. HRT has been life saving.

53, cancer, chemo and menopause killed off any sex drive.

I used to enjoy sex very much and have had a lot of it.

I went off it aged about fifty. Am now sixty, and will be very happy to never bother with men/sex ever again.

How do you get that from that?!?! We are all sharing our different experiences.

I forgot to say…menopause has made me so fat and ugly that I’d rather die than let a man (or anyone!) see me naked. Maybe I’d feel different if I weren’t so fat and ugly 🥲

Bloody good for you 👍

I’ve not had sex in 4 years. I think my husband will leave me soon. I’ve never liked sex unless we were making a baby and now after menopause I am dead from the waist down. I find sex an intrusive, aggressive act by males yuk. I’d be really happy if I never had to have sex ever again, it turns my stomach just the thought of the act. I know I’m strange but menopause has caused this because if I’m not making babies then what’s the point? I don't need a man me to feel validated. It’s gross!

I’m not trying to convince anyone I’m happy. I’ve been single for 14 years and don’t even think about men or sex. I’d never say never but I’m happy as I am.

I’m circa 40 and still keen. Not as often but definitely still have the urge.

If something were to happen to my DH I’d probably want a lover but not a live-in DH, I’m happy in my own space.

You sound quite similar to my friend who I suspect is asexual, sadly for her and her DH she is married. She has always said she would be quite happy to never have sex again.

Usually when people try to convince you they're happy its because deep down they're not.

I think it’s healthy to go through periods of being single and not making bad choices purely because you’re desperate for sex.

But I don’t think you should swear men or sex off for life.

Just be happy being single for right now and in a few months or years you may decide you would like to have a proper relationship or have a friends with benefits type situation.
Or you may choose to never have a relationship or sex again, which is also fine.

We don’t need to always have a plan or put labels on things.
Just take things day by day.

It’s so lazy and ignorant to say “you haven’t found the right person yet”.

Im 60 and have been with dh for nearly 40 years, had a very active and satisfying sex life for most of that time. The last year I would not care a jot if I never have sex again! I love my dh to bits, we hold hands when out and about, we cuddle on the sofa, he rubs my feet etc etc but I do not want sex with him or any other person. We have talked a lot about this situation and dh has told me he accepts it and loves me.
We’re busy at the moment looking forward to our retirement next year- travelling together, hobbies etc etc.

I'm 41, married with 2 young kids. I have no time for sex. The last time we were able to was when we both had a day off several weeks ago. I'm not too bothered by it though.

I’m 28 and feel the same way.

Every ex has cheated or been a user. I used to have a high sex drive but this has completely disappeared. Come to think of it, I no longer feel sexually attracted to men. I don’t feel sexually attracted to woman either so definitely not bisexual.

I was 19 when I was sure. I suspected before that. Now that asexuality is actually a known thing I know I'm not weird.

I hope to never get to an age where having sex and being touched by my husband is repulsive to me. What an utterly depressing thought.

How you feel now is exactly that - how you feel now. It’s unlikely your feelings will stay the same your whole life. If you fall in love again at some point in the future it may become something you love and value again. Why don’t you enjoy your life for now but stay open to whatever the future brings.

Agree with @emilysquest. I've voted YABU, not because you're unreasonable to have decided that's it for you and find peace and happiness with what you have. But it's the supposition that all of us will eventually lose the desire...

I was single for 10 years and missed sex dreadfully for a few years but then became resigned and actually didnt care as much as I expected to. I then met my bf and the desire is back with a vengeance and I hope it doesn't leave as it brings so much joy and pleasure to my life.

I think we adapt to our circumstances and so do our desires and wants. I'm not saying 'never say never, bet you'd want it if it was Brad Pitt' as you know your own mind very well. I'm just saying it's not inevitable and for many, many people it remains a hugely important and valued part of their lives.

Ha ha. Me too.

Might be a bit painful though!

Never I hope!

Are you asexual?

I haven’t and hope to never get to that point. Sex is fun. The in between bits are fun. Arousal and flirting and butterflies are fun. Have a crush and daydreaming about them is fun! I love a bit of romance.

god forbid honestly.

After 8 years of enforced celibacy due to my DH who is a chronic alcoholic dying of alcoholic dementia.. I have a lover. In my mid 60s and have never had such passionate fabulous sex. I never want to stop. It helps me get through the rest of the crap.