Page 13 | Never having sex again

user043857398 · 2025-09-21T07:29:14+00:00

What age were you when you realised you never wanted to be touched by a man again and saw absolutely no value in a man choosing to be with you long-term? I'm probably quite young to have come to this conclusion and the knowledge that I'll never have a romantic connection again fills me with joy. Friends, my children, my home, my future all take my headspace up and it's such a beautiful contrast to spending my youth chasing men and hoping they would 'choose me'. It must all have been due to societal programming. I look back and realise I was always happier when I was single and not interested in someone romantically.

MayaPinion · 21/09/2025 12:43

Ooh, no. I’m 57 and I still love a good roll in the hay. It’s one of life’s greatest pleasures - like art, music, great food and wine, interesting conversation, beautiful clothes - it’s one of the things that makes life worth living.

Outside9 · 21/09/2025 12:41

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:38

So do you believe that it's not possible to be happy without a romantic connection?

I used to feel this way myself. Is that your view?

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It's very much possible.

Unsolicited declaration to online strangers is just not a mark of genuine contentment, in my opinion.

Seeyouincourtyoufool · 21/09/2025 12:41

48 and came to this conclusion just a month ago. Decided to end my 8 year (second) toxic marriage for good and boy oh boy does it feel wonderful. I feel free and the thought of never having to have sex again is liberating. My sex drive died years ago. That relationship robbed me of my peace and now I feel like a weight has been lifted. I don't even feel sad which tells me all I need to know.

TheresGoingToBeAMoidur · 21/09/2025 12:41

FirstdatesFred · 21/09/2025 12:15

I find it a massive stress reliever and balances out my life which is quite difficult in other areas (work, single parenting, difficult sibling between kids).

However it's with a new(ish) partner post divorce who I don't live with. Had I stayed married I would have thought I never wanted it again but turns out it was just the wrong person.

Same here. I love sex and intimacy with my DP, and we are very content living apart, which is incredibly unlikely to change for either of us. We are very commited, but our focus is our respective families (both have ND DC), and we enjoy our relationship in a separate sphere.

From past experience, as soon as I start cohabiting my libido disappears because I feel too stressed about not having my own space. Regular periods of solitude are vital for maintaining my MH. I wish I had figured that out years ago.

I hope I never lose interest in sex and intimacy as it brings me a lot of joy. I'm 43 and have been peri for 5 years, and am aware things may change, but I really hope not.

fishtank12345 · 21/09/2025 12:39

Waggytail · 21/09/2025 08:59

My sex drive has been dead in the water for years.

Yes I am like this most of the time. A combination of an overweight, now not sexy to me husband, coupled with a lot of stress and we cant have sex anynore since he has E.D so its been taken off the " to do list "

Outside9 · 21/09/2025 12:38

slashlover · 21/09/2025 10:44

Or because other people insists that you can't possibly actually be happy and must be miserable deep down. I'm 48 and still get the "you just haven't found the right person" nonsense.

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Unsolicited assurances to strangers online says otherwise to me

Original poster

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:38

Outside9 · 21/09/2025 12:36

Lol okay sure

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So do you believe that it's not possible to be happy without a romantic connection?

I used to feel this way myself. Is that your view?

OP posts:

Original poster

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:37

mrlistersgelfbride · 21/09/2025 12:22

Well I’m 40 and I wouldn’t be fussed if I never had sex with my partner again as our relationship has been pretty much dead for years (I know it’s wrong and I’m biding my time).

However I know in my heart I’d love to have sex in the future which might be my 50s and 60s when we will have split up.

I’m sick of domestic life and shit relationships but I still get crushes on men and think about sex. I would never ever act on these- I probably wouldn’t even if I was single, but I do hope this is not it for me.

I can totally understand why many women have had enough though.
In my experience most men are poor to mediocre at sex, you might get an occasional great one but it’s not worth pursuing for all the shit and heartache really.

Enjoy your freedom.

I came quite late to domestic life and absolutely adore it now. I've been cleaning all morning while the kids play. I'm doing an online course and some creative writing. Might have a glass of wine later.

OP posts:

Outside9 · 21/09/2025 12:36

Mapletree1985 · 21/09/2025 10:41

No, usually it's because they're doing something outside the norm and nobody believes they're actually happy living that way.

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Lol okay sure

spicetails · 21/09/2025 12:36

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:34

It should. It's this idea that men are a prize to be won. I think it's overhang from when that was true because women were oppressed otherwise.

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lol. I’d rather win a tiny piece of cheap tat at a funfair stall.

Original poster

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:34

tinglywingly · 21/09/2025 12:32

Absolutely! Well said 👏 and no, I don’t think we’re the only ones who feel this way.
I agree with the OP when she mentioned societal norms - woman have been told for generations that we ‘need’ a man to ‘look after us’ and that we should be happy to ‘perform our marital duties’ no matter how unattractive the man makes himself by his poor behaviour (or lack of personal grooming 🤢)
I think women are thankfully now able to live very happy, successful lives without a man in the picture, which should have always been the case.

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It should. It's this idea that men are a prize to be won. I think it's overhang from when that was true because women were oppressed otherwise.

OP posts:

Original poster

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:33

incognitomouse · 21/09/2025 12:31

I don't believe romantic love is a con, at all. The problem is people let it fade. It doesn't do that on it's own.

I totally disagree. I don't have to work at the relationship with my loved ones, it comes completely naturally. I don't want someone who is supposed to care about me having to find it work either.

Perhaps some of this comes down to semantics and we place different meanings on the words, but honestly if you have to work to want to be around me just leave.

OP posts:

tinglywingly · 21/09/2025 12:32

Buffypaws · 21/09/2025 11:40

exactly. I can’t be the only woman who is straight but has found out in the fullness of time that men are usually disappointing (in and out of bed) and I am happier now I can afford to live just with my cats and no dickhead demanding to know why his shorts haven’t been washed and why I’m not more keen on sex with him when he gets offended at the idea of trimming his nose hair and refuses to shower first

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Absolutely! Well said 👏 and no, I don’t think we’re the only ones who feel this way.
I agree with the OP when she mentioned societal norms - woman have been told for generations that we ‘need’ a man to ‘look after us’ and that we should be happy to ‘perform our marital duties’ no matter how unattractive the man makes himself by his poor behaviour (or lack of personal grooming 🤢)
I think women are thankfully now able to live very happy, successful lives without a man in the picture, which should have always been the case.

Original poster

user043857398 · 21/09/2025 12:32

TheeNotoriousPIG · 21/09/2025 12:15

Erm, probably during sex education at school, because it sounded so disgusting and, quite frankly, unhygienic 😂

I assumed, when people were getting boyfriends/girlfriends at 13/14/15, that perhaps I was just a late bloomer. Then I realised that I just felt dead inside, and wondered if that fell into the category of 'asexuality'. Fortunately, it did, and I'm happy with being permanently and cheerfully single (though it does make having children considerably more difficult). This does not stop other people from feeling sorry for me for being single, though!

I love being single but also love being a parent. I had the last one independently.

OP posts:

incognitomouse · 21/09/2025 12:31

I don't believe romantic love is a con, at all. The problem is people let it fade. It doesn't do that on it's own.

Itsamum · 21/09/2025 12:28

I've never lost my desire for romance and a partner to live with, always wanted a nice romantic relationship in my life since I can remember.
However I track my period on an app and my sex drive definitely goes up and down in accordance with my menstrual cycle. I'm worried for the menopause because I don't seem to have a sex drive when there's a low chance of pregnancy. (We use condoms.)

Wynter25 · 21/09/2025 12:27

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 21/09/2025 10:35

I love sex but that's part due to my partner being incredibly kind, respectful, generous and always putting me first.

Same

HelloKittyFan · 21/09/2025 12:26

I’m 36 and haven’t had sex in 10 years (not through Choice) I do miss it and hope to never get to this stage!

MySweetMaggie · 21/09/2025 12:25

I was 41. So happily single.

dudsville · 21/09/2025 12:25

Mine stopped youngish because of DH's difficulties. At first I hoped it was a temporary situation, and then I had to consider whether to stay. I did, and as time passed and I reflected on sex I realised that what I liked most was the closeness, which we have, but I was not actually keen on most aspects of sex. I was chatting with a friend recently and she was wondering if she would remarry if her DH died (he's not ill, just the usual wondering), and I realised I would hate having to date again for this very reason.

mrlistersgelfbride · 21/09/2025 12:22

Well I’m 40 and I wouldn’t be fussed if I never had sex with my partner again as our relationship has been pretty much dead for years (I know it’s wrong and I’m biding my time).

However I know in my heart I’d love to have sex in the future which might be my 50s and 60s when we will have split up.

I’m sick of domestic life and shit relationships but I still get crushes on men and think about sex. I would never ever act on these- I probably wouldn’t even if I was single, but I do hope this is not it for me.

I can totally understand why many women have had enough though.
In my experience most men are poor to mediocre at sex, you might get an occasional great one but it’s not worth pursuing for all the shit and heartache really.

Enjoy your freedom.

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 21/09/2025 12:17

Mid 20s, lol, but I think I'm kind of asexual.

FlexiSadie · 21/09/2025 12:17

I'm forty and as horny as ever.

FirstdatesFred · 21/09/2025 12:16

Lowwintersun13 · 21/09/2025 10:29

I forgot to say…menopause has made me so fat and ugly that I’d rather die than let a man (or anyone!) see me naked. Maybe I’d feel different if I weren’t so fat and ugly 🥲

Do you/did you not enjoy orgasms?

FirstdatesFred · 21/09/2025 12:15

I find it a massive stress reliever and balances out my life which is quite difficult in other areas (work, single parenting, difficult sibling between kids).

However it's with a new(ish) partner post divorce who I don't live with. Had I stayed married I would have thought I never wanted it again but turns out it was just the wrong person.