Never having sex again

My libido declined after the menopause and dropped off a cliff mid 50s.
Prior to that I had an insatiable appetite for sex. I do not miss it.

It might not be the norm but I think it's more normal that people like to admit. There is a section of society, of women, will turn everything into a competition and sometimes that includes bald faced lying.

This was also me most of the time. There was the added dynamic of liking women as well as men but heterosexuality being 'normal' and easier.

In actual fact I have just never went around fancying people so I probably shouldn't have been having sex with all but two of the men I've been with. So 'a good fuck' as pp put it wouldn't have been on the cards anyway. You can't do right for doing wrong it seems.

This is sad tbh. I’m a widow (widowed at 38) and have been in my own ever since). I wonder if you will still say this in ten years time of no intimacy.!

For a lot of people it's got everything to do with it

I also think revulsion is a completely normal and appropriate reaction to many of the dynamics we see posted about on here.

I was widowed in my mid sixties and miss my DH terribly, all aspects of our life together, including our wonderful sex life.

Nearing 70 now, I still need sex but so far take care of that normal physical drive by myself, and always feel better afterwards.

I've been having orgasms since early puberty, in my sleep even, so view it as completely normal and healthy. I hope the physical urge never goes away though if it does I suppose I would no longer be bothered.

When DH started with ED and wouldn’t do anything about it, I stopped all physical contact. It’s not nice being touched when you know it’s not going anywhere.

See the thing is, my husband has always been over weight but he was attractive to me 20 years almost ago as he was funny and we had fun and his face was attractive, now after we have had kids and are in our 40s, he has missing teeth, fails at diets and is still as fat as ever and is just so so unattractive to me since I was 21 when we met and am now 40 and know what I would have needed/ wanted in a man and didn't get. He is kind and all that which is why I stay but he is also weak as a person and it makes me really resentful and stressed out to be honest carrying everything.

I’m 58.
We have sex once in a blue moon - a handful of times a year -if it’s instigated by my husband. I go with the flow perfectly happily but if he was suddenly out of the picture I’d stay single forever. I’d be perfectly happy to leave sex behind me now.

I’ve never really got the fuss about sex. I don’t like cuddles or intimacy. Sex has always been very much an act for my own enjoyment, but if I never had sex again, I wouldn’t be bothered.

I have never felt a close connection to anyone I’ve had sex with and I’ve never wanted to cuddle afterwards or be ‘close’.

I’m aware this isn’t the norm though, I’ve always just been wired a bit differently to most.

It’s very odd to me that people talk about a complete loathing of sex as a normal life stage that we can all expect as women. Certainly, a lot of people see their sex drive drop, but complete revulsion at the mere suggestion of physical touch or affection isn’t especially normal.

@BauhausOfEliott I agree with that. But also what blows my mind is people saying they don't like sex and they've never had an orgasm. WHAT? You've never even given yourself one? No wonder you don't like sex. I wouldn't like sex much either if there were no orgasms involved!

Your 'loved ones' are a totally different relationship, and you have to work at ALL relationships. Maybe you don't think that you don't...but maybe they're the ones that are putting all the work in?

Romantic partners, family relationships or friendships - all take time, work and effort but I guess if you're not prepared to put it any effort you're probably better on your own.

33 DH had a mental health breakdown and now I'm his carer I just can't stand the thought of it.

Like he's not a proper adult anymore so it feels wrong.

I was about 54. Menopausal and with VA, had a partner who insisted on having sex even though it hurt me badly. The last time I thought' no, never again', split up with partner and lost all trace of sex drive. It came back, slowly, through my 60's but although I occasionally think 'hmm, wouldn't mind another go' I am not prepared to trade my freedom and my life for having to put up with a man in his 60's just to have a shag.

Now thinking of it, every person I have had sex with, thinking back, I have never enjoyed it. Its just been a thing to do as its expected! I didn't realise that's how I felt at the time.

What’s romantic love got to do with a damn good fuck?

I’m 49. I really enjoy sex and I find men attractive. I also love my partner, but that isn’t really why I enjoy sex with him. I enjoy sex with him because sex is something I get a lot of pleasure from and he’s good at it. I wouldn’t ever cheat on my partner because I adore him, but I know full well I would also enjoy sex if I had it with other people too.

The number of women on Mumsnet who insist they have zero interest in sex of any kind, even at a relatively young age, and who also insist that the very notion of spending any time with a man makes their skin crawl, is bizarre. I know literally nobody in real life, of any age, who feels like this and I think Mumsnet is very disproportionate on this. It’s very odd to me that people talk about a complete loathing of sex as a normal life stage that we can all expect as women. Certainly, a lot of people see their sex drive drop, but complete revulsion at the mere suggestion of physical touch or affection isn’t especially normal.

God I wished I felt like this but its like my nether regions are dead. I found my H to be really attractive and he was a good lover but nope still no stirring down below. Even started testosterone but made no difference.

@user043857398 you sound like the kind of person I'd be friends with in real life! Can I ask how did you find having a child as a solo parent in comparison to having one with a partner, do they mind not having a dad if their siblings have a dad that they see (I assume that's what you mean, might be wrong).
I'm considering it to have a third and last child, but my older two have a dad and I'd hate for any resentment to be present because of that difference.

It's an entirely personal thing - there is no right or wrong, and it's possible to be happy with a partner and not have sex, even though not widely spoken about.

I think 'peace' is what so many women just want.

Has anyone watched The Good Wife? I'm always struck by when he moves back into the house and how it completely smashes the dynamic in her home to pieces. Some spaces just don't need a man.

53 and still enjoy it with dh, but if he is no longer around i don't think i would seek it out.

Romance, intimacy and making love is still very much a huge part our relationship. We have been married since 1992.

We have never let the physical side of our relationship slip and I do think a big part of that is because we have never let ourselves go, so still have a strong physical attraction and we have been very supportive of each other so there is no animosity or pettiness in the relationship which leads to the resentment and bitterness between couples that I often see written about on here.

Same here. It was a relief to discover why I felt the way i did.

Unsolicited declaration to online strangers is just not a mark of genuine contentment, in my opinion.

It is a forum to discuss things no?

I think especially with younger generations, they're exposed to souch male sleaze and negativity online, which is also where they do a lot of their meeting men, and let's face it, that would put anyone off. Any comments section of anything, any social media, and it's just the 'leaders and protectors' of the world endlessly whining about women not bowing and scraping at their feet. It's incredibly off-putting, and that's even before you get to the dating. Who the hell wants to even contemplate meeting someone that thinks and openly says they are owed something? Nah.