Never having sex again

Good grief, like is too short.

Of course, we all could survive without a lot of things, and just with the most basic food and shelter, but how depressing that would be.

I hope never: I would be very miserable without wanting sex ever again, but talking with my grand-mother, hopefully, it's not a curse. I had a dry spell in the months after giving birth, but thankfully that did not last too long.

If people don't want intimacy, fair enough, but I want chocolate, wine, sex and a lot of things in my life. I am curious how I will find older men attractive when I myself am older (and how one will find ME attractive) but we'll cross that bridge when we get there

I have no libido and I really miss it.

I wish I could be happy about no longer physically wanting sex but I can't. My brain remembers and I love my husband and want to have sex with him, but I'm really struggling.

I'm trying to get my HRT sorted out but it's been really hard.

You totally missed the point of what I was saying..I said we're best mates too as in we get on and have lots in common as well as being married and having a sexual relationship. And I can tell you straight having spent 20 years married to someone who's best mate was his reflection it is a heck of a lot more than just "meh"

You totally missed the point of what I was saying..I said we're best mates too as in we get on and have lots in common as well as being married and having a sexual relationship. And I can tell you straight having spent 20 years married to someone who's best mate was his reflection it is a heck of a lot more than just "meh"

As someone said upthread, it’s a bit too close to telling lesbians theyd love having sex with men if only they had found a man to give them pleasure….

It’s basically saying There’s something wrong with a woman saying she doesn’t want sex. That it’s abnormal so it must be <insert reason of choice - hormones, not finding the right man etc…>

Personally I think wanting to reproduce has a lot to do with it tbh. Once it’s gone, the urge to have sex wanes down.
I also think we, as humans, are strongly influenced by society on what we consider ‘good’. So being a romantic relationship=good because you ‘need’ intimacy, cuddles, support, it’s family etc… Sex=good, often because sex is seen as THE way to get intimacy. Etc etc….
So while I’m sure having good sex with the right person is bringing on pleasure etc…. and isn’t be sneered at, I dint think it’s essential to a life well lived, happy and fulfilled.

Could well be... but either way as long as you're happy! and you're always free to change your mind!

That’s just really sad.

Meh. You can be best mates with anyone. You (usually!) only have sex with the person you’re in a relationship with.

Whereas I get your point. Its not the same. Im sorry its not. The poster isnt trying to change ops sexuality, just proposing the right person might not have come along. The op sounds more fed up with men then her not wanting someone...so it was a fair point to suggest.

In my 40s I absolutely wouldn't have been bothered to not have sex again, in my 50s now and it's back on the menu and an enjoyable part of my life. (Decent man, HRT, children older so less tired).

Why do I always think that these threads are a bit on the lines of 'The lady does protest too much'?

If you're happy with your choices @user043857398 why bother to ask if you're unreasonable?

Are you just looking for confirmation? Or an argument?

Do you / anyone think that maybe women feel as the op does because they haven't met the right man they have a sexual connection with .
.or maybe they did have that connection,but the man changed over time , leaving the woman to do all the domestic and childcare stuff

Do you / anyone think that maybe women feel as the op does because they haven't met the right man they have a sexual connection with .
.or maybe they did have that connection,but the man changed over time , leaving the woman to do all the domestic and childcare stuff

@LividYosemite

i wonder why it was so different..

The number of women on Mumsnet who insist they have zero interest in sex of any kind, even at a relatively young age, and who also insist that the very notion of spending any time with a man makes their skin crawl, is bizarre. I know literally nobody in real life, of any age, who feels like this and I think Mumsnet is very disproportionate on this. It’s very odd to me that people talk about a complete loathing of sex as a normal life stage that we can all expect as women. Certainly, a lot of people see their sex drive drop, but complete revulsion at the mere suggestion of physical touch or affection isn’t especially normal.

Or maybe it's more normal than you think, but something most people don't find so easy to talk about in RL. Especially if, for example, you know their DH, most women aren't going to elaborate on how sex with him repulses them.

But I don't think it is true that people are talking about it as "a normal life stage that we can expect" - this thread makes clear that there are a lot of different experiences with some being still very into sex including some into their 70s, which is also fine and normal.

But I also think it's understandable for women to go off it. On one level there's a biological urge to pursue sex which does end for wmen and not for men. On another, lots of men are horrible, ranging from seriously abusive to "just" selfish, lazy, inconsiderate, unfaithful, pornsick etc etc and a lot of women do get to a point - sooner or later - where they think "sod this".

Your life, your choice. I'm 59 and, since divorce, love living in my own. My difference is that I would love to meet someone, have intimacy and sex again, but would still want to live on my own so I suppose that's the way it's going to be!

I was late 30s when I realized it just isn't worth the hassle and stress. Sex and love and so on can be great, but it all comes at such a price (unless you are lucky, which some are). When I look back over my life, sex has brought me far more misery than happiness. Books, learning, art, dogs, nature, peace, silence, studying languages, going to coffee shops with friends, visiting art galleries, those are the things that have made me happy. Sex and relationships bring ecstatic highs, but they also bring sooooo much f-ing hassle and pain. And one misstep can ruin your life – and that goes for both men and women btw. (I have known good men whose lives have been ruined by vile women.) Both my sets of grandparents had utterly miserable marriages, and my cousin's marriage, that seemed so happy, has just imploded after 30 years. It's awful to watch.

Bertrand Russel wrote 100 years ago that sex brings more unhappiness that happiness. Still true today imo.

For all the people saying they'd love to but are troubled by VA etc I'd really encourage you to explore HRT and topical oestrogen...keeping my fanny happy feels like a FT job these days but it's worth it!