Fucking Gross Adverts

Shit. Maybe it IS Natalie Portman - I always seem to get them muddled up. It strips her of acting talent, whoever it is.

Some pervy men are into that, maybe that’s why. White Lotus, which was a great drama many ways, showed a man having anal sex in the last series. Big Little Lies showed frozen faced Nicole Kidman engage in S&M sex with her abuser, it was so gross and self-indulgent. YET they have “offensive” warnings on pretty harmless 70s comedies like The Likely Lads! I always rush to turn the sound down with tv adverts and try not to look at them or fast forward them, but some manage to get through.

I wonder what the casting calls for those are like and what the actors have to do at the auditions ...

Then the conversations ... 'yes, she's the perfect fit for the ladies' incontinence pad ad ... His voice has just the right tone for bellowing DIARRHOEA ... Loved the way he mimed shaving his bollocks ... Call their agents!'

I'm surprised they show that advert during the day! Does it not reference balls?! And people shaking their bits? I'm not a prude at all, but come on!

I also welcome the urinary incontinence ads, anything to destigmatize is ace.

I think the period ads are fantastic, but as pp's said, unnecessary body deodorant and shaving nethers promote perfect plastic bodies. The toilet ones are silly and yuk.

I thought it was Natalie Portman! Shows what I know.

The Peptobismol ad is fucking insane. Imagine being one of the actors in it. The shame. (I suppose they think of the money and the repeat fees.)

Even Tilda Swinton is doing one and I thought she was a serious actor.

Definitely. Keira blimmin Knightley really showing off her acting skills - not.

There's something about fragrance adverts in that they all seem to strip away any ounce of talent that the actors in them possess.

But did you object during all the years they showed blue liquid rather than red?

I assume they want to demonstrate how much liquid (more than you might expect) the pads can absorb. We don’t need to see whether loo paper will wipe off poo.

On a lighter (and unrelated) note, this thread has warmed the cockles of my heart 🥲

I'd just about given up on Mumsnet and when I saw this post, I assumed that it was going to be filled with the typical superior responses pummelling the OP with po-faced navel gazing. Explaining exactly why she's wrong and why she needs to keep up with the progressive modern world, it's actually a feminist issue and anyone who is still clinging onto the past is uneducated and ignorant.

You've all restored my faith a little 😅

It’s not a question of being ashamed of it, we just don’t need to see a graphic representation, any more than we need to see fake brown poo in loo paper ads. We all know what these products are for.

I’m sorry if someone has already said this, but there’s a special place in hell for all the adverts obviously shot in America with impossibly beautiful actors showing off the product in kitchens bigger than our house, and in the rare times I don’t hit the Mute button, you can hear they’ve been badly dubbed into British English

Somebody did a skit of the Papa/Nicole one where Papa is kerb crawling in the Paris red light district. A lady of the night comes up to his car. “Papa?” “ Nicole?”

I absolutely hate these graphic advertisements. I just don't want to see that sort of thing on my TV when I am eating. Does anyone remember when advertisements were fun and entertaining? OK I am going back a bit but just a few examples📧

Joan Collins & Leonard Rossiter - Cinzano
Lorraine Chase - Campari
The Nestle Gold Blend series - will they, won't they?
Smash
Renault - Papa and Nicole
The Oxo Family

It's how you know it's going to a dreary, miserable show where fuck all happens for 40 minutes - it's a brown, dark room and the bloke whose trauma they're going to not explain in the slightest (but will inevitably involve at least one wife dying and probably a daughter too for good measure) for at least five episodes is going to get up and show his bare arse in the only light from the bathroom door as he takes a piss. Then he drives around with somebody else in the dark, eventually we get some daylight and somebody sounds happy about something involving a woman and then he drives off again, it gets to near darkness and somebody - usually the happy person - dies of boredom. Then it gets dark again.

Throw in lots of dreary, meaningful music, a cheap callback to the Godfather with orange indicating imminent death and the unskippable adverts on the streaming channels with people singing about diarrhoea, piss and pizza delivery men upskirting blokes with hairy bollocks in between meaningful darkness where you can't hear 90% of the mumbling dialogue under the meaningful muzak and can't lipread it because a) it's so fucking dark all the time and b) training a camera on the face of the person speaking is sooooo last century and that's another hour of your life you'll never get back again.

Or you have the other version where the music track is ear splittingly loud, everywhere they go is filthy and dilapidated, during the day and lit by neon signs at night, everybody screams fuck and prick all the time - the only time the music is turned down is hear the naughty words - and there's at least one orgasm scene which may or may not include somebody slinging what's supposed to be ejaculate across the screen or a woman being done from behind whilst standing up so you get a full view of her front. Oh, and there will always be at least one visit to a pole dancing bar.

Oh, you've just reminded me of a recent Nike (I think) advert where a woman takes her sock off and you see a manky, peeling blister on her heel

'wedgy pickers'

🤢

A different take on cringe-worthy is the disposable nappies one.

Parents are woken by large baby in cot having a dump.
"Don't fear the poonami" is the message (Pampers ?) will take care of it.

Great. Parents smile & go back to sleep leaving baby in shitty nappy.

Whenever I see the Pepto advert I just think, maybe don't go to the local caff where people are preparing food if you've got a raging stomach bug 😂

The ads that make me change the channel are the "oh my gush" one and the Tena Man (or similar) with the older guy standing in his boxers talking about his leakage.

I don't get why women sit on loos in tv dramas, surely you can tell the story without it

Your posts are spot on, @SwedeAtTheFinnishLine 👏

Years ago there was a Nike Air advert showing an athlete vomiting as he was running during a race. Totally put me off the meal I was eating at the time.

I thought it was a bucking bronco type horse?

I completely agree with you, OP.

The adverts today are increasingly revolting. I'm no Victorian prude and discuss periods etc with my husband, daughter, friends, sisters. However, I would not be waving my used sanitary pads at anyone. It's private and my business only, so why would I want to see used pads on my large screen TV?! Or any other intimate and private bodily function?

We teach children that their bodies are private so surely our bodily functions are also private? We can be unashamed, unembarrassed and relaxed about our bodies without needing to share and see every intimate detail, surely?

If it's to get us talking about their products and buying them it isn't working, as I mentally cross off any item with a gross advert from my future shopping list!