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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
Offloadontome · 20/09/2025 21:53

Are you sure he knows you gave him £50 as well as just the prosecco?

pictoosh · 20/09/2025 21:53

Whaaaat?!

How bloody cheeky.

Cherryicecreamx · 20/09/2025 21:47

I think a tenner in a card should have been enough! You hadn't even met the boy.. CF

Pemba · 20/09/2025 21:30

Actually I just gave my (adult) niece £50 for her birthday (not a special one though), and didnt think I was being stingy, I used to give £25 up until a few years ago. And she appreciates it!

I would have given more for a special birthday, BUT that's because she's my niece that I've known her whole life. Obviously.

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 21:20

That’s an amazingly generous gift! Who wouldn’t be thrilled with that?!

Owly11 · 20/09/2025 21:19

Wtf? I don’t even give my best friend £50 let alone the child of my friend’s partner that I have never met. I probably would have just taken a bottle.

NotToday1l · 20/09/2025 21:14

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 21:05

Hi, thanks for your support. He did know the amount because he said "£50? I think you could have given him a bit more." TBH I am devastated by his reaction as we have been besties for 30 years+. As I said, I'm not rolling in cash. My wife and I get by, but like most people we have to watch what we do. Thanks again people for supporting me and letting me know that it isn't me.

Was it a very flash party, sit down meal etc

Original poster
YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 21:05

Hi, thanks for your support. He did know the amount because he said "£50? I think you could have given him a bit more." TBH I am devastated by his reaction as we have been besties for 30 years+. As I said, I'm not rolling in cash. My wife and I get by, but like most people we have to watch what we do. Thanks again people for supporting me and letting me know that it isn't me.

OP posts:
NotToday1l · 20/09/2025 21:00

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

It was more than generous, I wouldn’t have even gone to the 21st of a friends, girlfriends son that my friend had been going out with for a few months

Are you sure he knows you put £50 in the card,/ did the card get lost / is there a chance that the son told him a different amount

defrazzled · 20/09/2025 20:44

My mum gave DS and DD £50 for their 18 and we were all extremely grateful. Your 'friend' is insane.

thepariscrimefiles · 20/09/2025 20:43

I hope he's not your best friend any more. You have been really generous to someone who you have never even met before and your friend was really rude and ungrateful. What on earth was he expecting?

Lampzade · 20/09/2025 20:32

I would be bloody grateful for £50

Katflapkit · 20/09/2025 20:31

If this s guy is your best friend, then I am assuming you have been there for many birthdays, gift occasions, and his wedding etc. Has he ever mentioned the monetary value of gifts before? If not, I think it's one two things the boy has pocketed the money and not said anything or this has come from the new girlfriend who may not be as nice as you think.

deeahgwitch · 20/09/2025 20:31

Alittlefrustrated · 20/09/2025 19:36

He'd of got the fizz and card off me. I think you were mad to give him £50! You were very generous.
Your best friend was very rude - do you think he's got mixed up? Does he buy you extravagant presents? Not that that changes anything - you don't know this young man.

I agree

Livelovebehappy · 20/09/2025 20:25

Nothing to do with your friend at all. It’s entirely up to you what you feel is an appropriate amount, and I think that’s more than generous. He sounds very controlling….

BoarBrush · 20/09/2025 20:16

Christ my mum gives me 50 quid every year for my birthday. I'd be absolutely delighted if she just bought me my favourite bottle of wine.

Greedy fucker.

KimberleyMilkado · 20/09/2025 20:16

What did your friend get the birthday boy? What did he give you on your last birthday? Do you have kids? I think you were very generous.

Timble · 20/09/2025 20:14

Does he know you gave £50? If it was in a card could it have gone unnoticed? It was my daughter’s birthday earlier in the year and my best friend got her a bottle of bubbly and put £40 in her card. My daughter didn’t notice the money, I found it in the envelope in recycling the next day luckily after my friend mentioned it!

Whichone2024 · 20/09/2025 20:14

Wow £50 is very generous. I would have just brought a bottle!

JLou08 · 20/09/2025 20:13

You were a lot more generous than I would have been. Your 'friend' sounds like a twat.

CoastalCalm · 20/09/2025 20:10

I think he’s assumed it was just a card and a bottle of prosecco - the birthday celebrant probably just pocketed cash and didn’t keep track of who gave what.

Cucy · 20/09/2025 20:08

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Laura95167 · 20/09/2025 20:01

Your best friend's, girlfriend's son? Tbh id have only taken the wine.

Your friend is a prick, hes not entitled to a gift never mind his waifs and strays.

Do not overthink this, you were generous

TartanMammy · 20/09/2025 19:55

Wtf. My own nephew's will get £50 from me on their 21st. Not someone's kid who I've never met. You were too generous. Unless there's some huge backstory.

Tastaturen · 20/09/2025 19:53

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