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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
BMW6 · 21/09/2025 09:08

Tell your "friend" to get to fuck! I've never heard such nonsense!!

Blazercup · 21/09/2025 09:07

Could he possibly be joking / sarcastic and actually implying that the gift was over generous?

Brunts12 · 21/09/2025 09:03

OP you should have replied “Alright, you silly goose” :)

PolkaDotPorridge · 21/09/2025 08:33

He’s not your friend. Ditch!

Twiglets1 · 21/09/2025 08:32

Blimey - my brother in law had a 60th birthday party recently and all he got from us was a card and bottle of champagne.

£50 plus a bottle of Prosecco for someone you don’t know was very generous.

With (rude) friends like those, who needs enemies?

Cherrytree86 · 21/09/2025 08:26

I think a card and the bottle of prosecco was ample tbh. Your friend sounds like a prick.
@YourWorthyBee

Kitkatfiend31 · 21/09/2025 08:23

Honestly I would have taken a card and the bottle in that scenario. You were very generous and I'd rethink the friend!

40andlovelife · 21/09/2025 08:10

It’s definitely not you. You were being very generous.

I wonder if this has come from his new flame in some way? Only you know your friend. Either way, keep on the lookout for any more strange behaviours because I think there is more to this from your friends side of things. If he isn’t usually this type of person then something is definitely going on.

Viviennemary · 21/09/2025 08:08

Maybe somebody stole the £50 from the card. I would say something like did he not get the £50.

mylittlekomododragon · 21/09/2025 08:05

I would set it out straight to your friend, say that you consider a bottle of Prosecco and £50 to be an extremely generous gift for someone you don’t know. This also means that if there has been any misunderstanding over the gift, he knows the true situation. Frankly if he thinks that is not a good gift, the problem is with him.

Steeleydan · 21/09/2025 08:04

2catsandhappy · 21/09/2025 07:11

A shame you were too shocked to say, 'Well if my hard earned £50 isn't good enough, I'll have it back.' and then held your hand out with an expectant look on your face.

Absolutely this !!

Steeleydan · 21/09/2025 08:03

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

Cf, I think £50 is more than generous for someone you've never met, the bottle of prosecco would have been more than enough as a gesture, you've never met the kid!! I'd only give very good friends £50, but then iam not rothschild either.
I think your friend is a cf well out of order!

DreamTheMoors · 21/09/2025 07:53

Wait wait wait.
Hold up.
Hold on just a darn minute.
The birthday boy is the son of your friend’s GF & he was a complete and total stranger when you arrived at his party with a bottle of prosecco AND a card with £50 in it???
What? WTF is your “”friend” high on that he had the absolute gall to call you out for such a lovely and thoughtful and APPROPRIATE gift?
What’s your friend’s name? Give me his number too. And give me his MOTHER’S phone number.
Your friend scolding you is SO FAR PAST INAPPROPRIATE that it can’t see inappropriate in the rearview mirror.

GAJLY · 21/09/2025 07:50

Oh my gosh I would have only given £20. That was really nice of you! I'm sorry he behaved in that way. I think I'd avoid all future celebrations hosted by him, as he obviously expects too much! You'll have to be more more busy!

PrioritisePleasure24 · 21/09/2025 07:42

Not sure i’d have even gone to be honest. But mine would have been a card and a maximum of £20. £50 is a lot of money!!! Nevermind for someone you don’t even know. I’d be having words with my so called best mate tbh. It’s grabby and rude and it’s not even his son.

LillyPJ · 21/09/2025 07:28

My friend's girlfriend's son would be lucky to get a card off me, let alone £50! Your friend is being ridiculous.

Strawberrryfields · 21/09/2025 07:17

How weird! What did your friend get him?

2catsandhappy · 21/09/2025 07:11

A shame you were too shocked to say, 'Well if my hard earned £50 isn't good enough, I'll have it back.' and then held your hand out with an expectant look on your face.

WeeGeeBored · 21/09/2025 07:11

Pancakeflipper · 20/09/2025 19:29

How does your friend know what you got the 21 yr old? Is it possible they saw only the processco and not the £50 ?

In my circles £50 for someone you've never met would be excessive.

Same.

MyDeftDuck · 21/09/2025 07:07

£50 cash for someone you don’t even know????? And you get accused of being stingy???? Time to find a new friend OP! Did you ask how much you were expected to give?

Namechange822 · 21/09/2025 06:46

Do you have kids? And if so, what has he given them for 18th birthday presents etc? Does he have bio kids? What have you done for presents for them?

He may be seeing this as a step child scenario in which case he is expecting you to treat him similarly to other kids. Whereas you’re seeing someone who you have no relationship with yet.

Toesy · 21/09/2025 06:35

You were more than generous.
He sounds like a rude ignorant twat.

BeanQuisine · 21/09/2025 04:49

I doubt that I would have gone to the party at all, let alone given him money. Too distant a connection.

spoonbillstretford · 21/09/2025 03:35

I wouldn't go to a party of a new girlfriend of best friend's adult son. How bizarre to be invited to a 21st of someone you don't know from Adam.

Arcencielle · 21/09/2025 02:56

Wasn’t he being ironic? And you took it literally?