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AIBU?

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Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
Lavenderflower · 21/09/2025 10:59

I think you were very generous. I would give that amount to a family member.

PinkyFlamingo · 21/09/2025 10:53

£50 was too generous for this random!

Rewis · 21/09/2025 10:42

Do you have kids? If you do, what kind of presents does he give?

Best friends child it totally different than best friends new girlfriends adult children you've never met. But to kinda give idea what os this person's baseline for gifts.

Your present was generous and friend is an ass.

ilovesushi · 21/09/2025 10:31

What an ungracious person! In my book, your gift is extremely generous. I would not be able to feel the same way about the friend after this.

Rewis · 21/09/2025 10:30

I thought that the Prosecco was enough. The 50 made it generous.

dottiedodah · 21/09/2025 10:20

£50,00 is very generous ! I do wonder if the new GF is ever so slightly jealous? Many women may not be comfortable with BF having a female BF.Maybe she said something about it .Otherwise its difficult to know .£25.00 for our young nephews is our normal amount and its very well received .

zingally · 21/09/2025 10:20

That's so weird!

I'm not sure I'd have even wanted to go to the party of a random 21yo I'd never met!! You have to admit that "best friends new girlfriends son who I've never met" is a stretch by anyone's social barometer.

I'd have probably have bought a card along, but certainly not a very generous gift! What do you even write in a card for someone you've never met and barely heard of?!

Your "friend" is being hugely unreasonable.

secretfancydress · 21/09/2025 10:16

Does your friend know about the £50? I was just wondering if they thought you just gave a card and a bottle of Prosecco which to be fair for a 21-year-old you don’t know and have never met would be fine in my eyes

Rosesanddaffs · 21/09/2025 10:14

You were very generous, I’d have just taken wine and that’s it!

viques · 21/09/2025 10:13

I hope there has been a miscommunication somewhere along the line. I would be tempted to contact your friend and ask what gift they think is appropriate for a birthday celebration for someone you have never even met, since a card, £50.00 and a bottle of fizz didn’t touch the sides.

mjf981 · 21/09/2025 09:55

This has to be a joke.
I would have shown up with the booze and nothing else. And been dumbfounded if more was expected.

Starlight7080 · 21/09/2025 09:55

You gave 50 to a stranger . Who you will probably not see again anyway .
Your friend is being ridiculous.

looselegs · 21/09/2025 09:47

user1471538275 · 20/09/2025 19:27

I would have got a card at best.

He is being incredibly rude and entitled.

This!

vickylou78 · 21/09/2025 09:46

Did your friend make this comment over text or in person? As if by text id probably think was a joke and he was being sarcastic

Sally2791 · 21/09/2025 09:43

He’s not your friend! Horrible comment.

ThisMellowCat · 21/09/2025 09:42

Does your mate know you also gave him £50 or has he not opened the card so thinks you only gave the bottle?
to be honest he would only have the bottle from me!

vickylou78 · 21/09/2025 09:42

Was your friend being sarcastic! Does he have a dry wit?
as I'd think £50 and bottle of prosecco for a boy you don't know is way too much. I'd probably have just put £10 in a card!!

WatchingTheDetective · 21/09/2025 09:39

I wonder how generous this man would have been if he'd been invited to your wife's nephew's 21st. What was the last present you got from him?

anyolddinosaur · 21/09/2025 09:27

Card and a bottle of fizz was fine, you were extremely generous to give that much cash,

Flakey99 · 21/09/2025 09:27

Your former best friend is using you (and others?) to impress his new girlfriend and in his eyes you’ve let him down as he was clearly expecting you to cough up a much bigger monetary gift.

It’s like someone using their friendship with a celebrity to gain kudos with others and is both sad and pathetic. I think you need to take him aside and tell him how disappointed you are that he’s trying to use your friendship to score brownie points and that’s not how genuine friends treat each other.

Barnbrack · 21/09/2025 09:22

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 21:05

Hi, thanks for your support. He did know the amount because he said "£50? I think you could have given him a bit more." TBH I am devastated by his reaction as we have been besties for 30 years+. As I said, I'm not rolling in cash. My wife and I get by, but like most people we have to watch what we do. Thanks again people for supporting me and letting me know that it isn't me.

Was he being sarcastic? If he's Irish that could be a dry compliment

Idontgiveashitanymore · 21/09/2025 09:17

QueenClinomania · 20/09/2025 19:34

Fifty quid for someone you've never met is generous.
Your friend is a twat.

This 🔼
how rude, I would not expect any of my ‘ friends’ to speak to me like this!

treacledan71 · 21/09/2025 09:13

You were very generous. My long term friends we only spend 15.00 on kids birthdays and 20.00 for special bdays. Stop when 21.

Dancingsquirrels · 21/09/2025 09:11

Send him a link to this thread

zipadeedodah · 21/09/2025 09:09

Did he aye?