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AIBU?

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Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
Tuesdayschild50 · 21/09/2025 19:47

He'd of got £20 from me if I didn't even know him... bloody hell the cheek of him x

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2025 19:20

Jesus, it would have just been a bottle if it was for somebody I didn’t know. Your mate is bloody rude. It’s none of his business. You were more than generous.

PotatoLove · 21/09/2025 19:16

A bottle and fifty quid was more than generous, your friend sounds rude af.

Pinkacer · 21/09/2025 19:13

Are you sure they saw the 50 pounds?

JustSawJohnny · 21/09/2025 19:12

50 quid is SO generous!!

Like, I'd say OTT, for a kid you don't even know.

I take it from your posts you're not exactly part of the Chelsea set so why would he expect you to part with a tonne of cash?

You need to have a conversation with him, I think.

His expectations are so out of whack.

viques · 21/09/2025 19:03

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 21:05

Hi, thanks for your support. He did know the amount because he said "£50? I think you could have given him a bit more." TBH I am devastated by his reaction as we have been besties for 30 years+. As I said, I'm not rolling in cash. My wife and I get by, but like most people we have to watch what we do. Thanks again people for supporting me and letting me know that it isn't me.

As a matter of interest what present did he come up with?

hoxtonbabe · 21/09/2025 18:38

My own kids don’t even get that😂🤔 he’s got some brass neck I give him that!

He also wouldn’t be my best friend for much longer if anyone had the audacity to tell me that.

Pelsall116 · 21/09/2025 18:29

Geez,thats a lot more than I would have given, what an entitled reaction by him

k8jr · 21/09/2025 18:22

Wow. Your friend sounds greedy?
I wouldn't have given a complete stranger to me £50 quid. The bottle would have been enough!

usedtobeaylis · 21/09/2025 18:17

Your friend is being a dick.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 21/09/2025 18:15

KittyHigham · 20/09/2025 19:30

Eh? What circles does he move in? I'd have just taken the bottle of prosecco.
But the whole thing is odd. Why would this 21 year old invite his mother's new boyfriend's friend to his 21st?

Oh id missed this, quite bizarre to invite your mum's new boyfriend's friend.

Was he trying to impress the new love OP and invited you as a cash cow?

Moveoverdarlin · 21/09/2025 18:11

Fifty quid for your mate’s, new girlfriend’s, son who you have never met???

Yeah I think fifty quid is incredibly generous, if in fact weirdly extravagant. You’ve never met him!

JudgeJ · 21/09/2025 18:09

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 20/09/2025 19:25

How strange.

Is there any cultural expectation?

Even if there were 'cultural expectations' the OP 's response should be 'in my culture, a £50 gift to the random son of a friend's girl-friend is considered very generous'. Why is that the grabby cultures seem to take precedence?

Jorge14 · 21/09/2025 17:59

I think that’s generous for someone you know well to be honest, you have never met him, that’s more than generous!

CatComments · 21/09/2025 17:56

That's how much I give my nieces, nephews and godchildren for their 18th and 21st birthdays! What an ungrateful arse. YANBU. At all!

Lornacranium · 21/09/2025 17:54

Sorry, I should have read the whole thread. Rookie error!

Lornacranium · 21/09/2025 17:53

About 30 years ago, I gave a very junior colleague a leaving card containing about £50 and forever after I have wondered if they ever got this money. He maybe didn’t open the card or possibly left it behind by accident. Could it be that something like this has happened? If not, your friend is unbelievably rude.

Mittleme · 21/09/2025 17:52

Agree 100%
if Jeff Bezos then different matter 😃

Mumoftwoandcats · 21/09/2025 17:43

£50 is about the amount I'd give one of my nephews for their 21st, more than generous for a friends partners son!

Newname42 · 21/09/2025 14:41

I also wonder why you even were invited, but that aside, how much to give entirely depends on the social circle. £50 is a 2-weeks food shop for some and a tip in a restaurant for others.

CinnamonBuns67 · 21/09/2025 14:28

Yanbu. Your friend can fuck off. A bottle of Fizz and a card for a best friend's new girlfriends 21 year old son would have been enough, you aren't obliged to get him anything and it was very kind of you and you was very very generous to give £50 on top of that.

MimiGC · 21/09/2025 14:24

When your birthday comes round, ask your friend what the 21 year old lad is going to get you.

gotmyknickersinatwist · 21/09/2025 13:30

dottiedodah · 21/09/2025 10:20

£50,00 is very generous ! I do wonder if the new GF is ever so slightly jealous? Many women may not be comfortable with BF having a female BF.Maybe she said something about it .Otherwise its difficult to know .£25.00 for our young nephews is our normal amount and its very well received .

You're assuming OP is a woman. Back in February she/he(more likely) had created an exH, and a lovely new handsome bloke she/he met a a swinger's club.
Now there's a wife on the scene. Busy boy/girl!

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.
gotmyknickersinatwist · 21/09/2025 13:20

Dancingsquirrels · 21/09/2025 09:11

Send him a link to this thread

He would have to exist first

gotmyknickersinatwist · 21/09/2025 13:18

zipadeedodah · 21/09/2025 09:09

Did he aye?

Indeed