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Original poster

I pushed my 2 year old

36 replies

georgie6 · 20/09/2025 18:40

And I haven’t stopped crying from guilt all day long.

We have a 2 week old DS and a 2 year old DD, 2 week old DS very very different to how DD was as a newborn, cries for hours non stop and just generally won’t settle. DD was quiet and calm and this time around it’s hit me like a ton of bricks. DH and I are exhausted.

We were all getting ready to go out this morning and DS had been crying non stop for around 45 mins despite being fed, cuddled, nappy changed, he was warm enough etc I was changing his bum again on the changing mat on the floor as he’d done a poo and DD started shouting “no baby brother stop crying” over and over, DH told her simply that we don’t shout and explained that he cannot talk like she can so he cries to tell us he is unhappy. She nodded and then 30 seconds later walked over to me cleaning him on the floor and put her hand over his face and pushed down hard shouting no, in a split second I thought she was going to break his nose so I automatically pushed out and shouted “DD NO DO NOT DO THAT”. I didn’t push her hard, enough for her to remove her hand off his face and she fell onto her bum on the rug we were sitting on. She didn’t go flying or anything like that but she looked at me in absolute horror. I burst into tears, she burst into tears. Baby was screeching at this point, it obviously shocked/hurt him.

DH keeps trying to tell me I did the right thing, I had a split second to get her off him before she really hurt him but I am overwhelmed with guilt.

Guilt for pushing her, guilt for ruining our peaceful home by bringing another into it, guilt for not being able to give DS the amount of attention I gave DD as a newborn (I mean I sat and cuddled her pretty much for the entire first 6 weeks), guilt to DS for him being hurt this morning.

Within 5 minutes of explaining that mummy didn’t want to push but needed to quickly get baby brother safe, DD was dancing around with her fairy wings on seemingly unaffected by it.

I just feel like the worst bloody mum in the world right now and nothing DH can say makes me feel any better, I guess I need to hear from other Mum’s that it’s all okay and I’m not as terrible as I feel. I just keep seeing her shocked face and feel so sad that I pushed her.

OP posts:
Evaka · 20/09/2025 18:53

You poor darling, you did nothing wrong at all x

Eggandbeans2025 · 20/09/2025 18:52

We have all done things we shouldn't have. Please don't be hard on yourself. Any parent who claims to have been 100% perfect isn't telling the truth

Koolandorthegang · 20/09/2025 18:52

Something similar happened when I had an 18 month old and a baby. We were ready to go out in the double buggy. I turned to lock the door and my 18 month old DD grabbed her brother by the mouth and squeezed. He was screaming and I ran at my DD and pushed her off him quite hard. It’s like something took over and I had to protect my younger child. Honestly these type of things happen when you have two little children. Sometimes it’s chaos and they are both screaming and you feel awful and powerless. You are full of hormones and exhausted. You did nothing wrong and protected your newborn. Your DD may have now realised she cannot grab the baby. Don’t worry she won’t be scarred for life. They’ll be the best of friends before you know it and this will be a distant memory

Owly11 · 20/09/2025 18:51

You didn’t do anything wrong. You are all under stress. You had to protect the baby. Whatever you do don’t let your dd know you feel guilty. Tell her why you did it, apologise for any shock or upset she felt and let her know not to do that again. And then move on.

Illegally18 · 20/09/2025 18:51

georgie6 · 20/09/2025 18:40

And I haven’t stopped crying from guilt all day long.

We have a 2 week old DS and a 2 year old DD, 2 week old DS very very different to how DD was as a newborn, cries for hours non stop and just generally won’t settle. DD was quiet and calm and this time around it’s hit me like a ton of bricks. DH and I are exhausted.

We were all getting ready to go out this morning and DS had been crying non stop for around 45 mins despite being fed, cuddled, nappy changed, he was warm enough etc I was changing his bum again on the changing mat on the floor as he’d done a poo and DD started shouting “no baby brother stop crying” over and over, DH told her simply that we don’t shout and explained that he cannot talk like she can so he cries to tell us he is unhappy. She nodded and then 30 seconds later walked over to me cleaning him on the floor and put her hand over his face and pushed down hard shouting no, in a split second I thought she was going to break his nose so I automatically pushed out and shouted “DD NO DO NOT DO THAT”. I didn’t push her hard, enough for her to remove her hand off his face and she fell onto her bum on the rug we were sitting on. She didn’t go flying or anything like that but she looked at me in absolute horror. I burst into tears, she burst into tears. Baby was screeching at this point, it obviously shocked/hurt him.

DH keeps trying to tell me I did the right thing, I had a split second to get her off him before she really hurt him but I am overwhelmed with guilt.

Guilt for pushing her, guilt for ruining our peaceful home by bringing another into it, guilt for not being able to give DS the amount of attention I gave DD as a newborn (I mean I sat and cuddled her pretty much for the entire first 6 weeks), guilt to DS for him being hurt this morning.

Within 5 minutes of explaining that mummy didn’t want to push but needed to quickly get baby brother safe, DD was dancing around with her fairy wings on seemingly unaffected by it.

I just feel like the worst bloody mum in the world right now and nothing DH can say makes me feel any better, I guess I need to hear from other Mum’s that it’s all okay and I’m not as terrible as I feel. I just keep seeing her shocked face and feel so sad that I pushed her.

Please don't be hard on your self. It's a tough gig being the mum of a 2 week baby and 2 year old toddler.

Twinmum345 · 20/09/2025 18:51

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 20/09/2025 18:48

I’m sure she cried from shock and because you cried, rather than because it hurt. You acted on reflex and it doesn’t sound like you were forceful etc.
try not to worry, neither DS nor DD will remember this.

This. Don’t worry op. It’s natural to feel a lot of emotions when you have a tiny baby. No one was hurt and you will all be fine ❤️

TheNameOfTheDaisy · 20/09/2025 18:50

It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong; you acted on instinct to protect the baby. DD got a bit of a shock but she’ll get over it; just give her lots of cuddles and reassurance.

TheatricalLife · 20/09/2025 18:48

It sounds like all of you have a lot going on and you need to be kind to yourself. You haven't hurt her, you've shocked her. You had to act quickly to stop the baby being hurt. She's so little, it's all so new to her as well. Forget it happened and move on, don't punish yourself. Also, see your GP or HV over the crying. Best of luck, it will all be ok.

Winchesterway · 20/09/2025 18:48

Wish I could give you a hug op. You did nothing wrong. In that moment you had to prevent your newborn being injured, your DD wasn't hurt and hopefully she's learned she can't put her hand over his face. Be kind to yourself, you're really in the thick of it right now.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 20/09/2025 18:48

I’m sure she cried from shock and because you cried, rather than because it hurt. You acted on reflex and it doesn’t sound like you were forceful etc.
try not to worry, neither DS nor DD will remember this.

itsgettingweird · 20/09/2025 18:46

She was at risk of suffocating her brother.

Pushing her was hardly crime if the century in response. It was mother’s instinct to protect her young.

Obviously you didn’t intend to her her and it doesn’t sound like you did. Hopefully she’ll have got the message that it’s not ok - so she won’t do it next time when you aren’t there to stop her.

As for baby. See HV. There may be silent reflux or CMPA involved and he may be in pain.

But please don’t beat yourself up over a reaction to something potentially serious when you meant no harm.

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