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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you move counties for a better secondary school?

40 replies

HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 16:29

We live in the north of England. Have a wonderful lifestyle: comfortable, a house overlooking fields with a sea view, lots of outdoor adventures etc.

The only big problem that concerns me is a local secondary school. The catchment is 15 miles around, so no other option even in theory. It has reputation of having problems with behaviour. All results are below average both for local authority and England: progress 8 score below average, 35% Grade 5 or above in English & maths GCSEs etc.

The opinion of the parents with whom are talked to are that good kids stay with their circle of friends and are out of trouble and are doing fine in that school.

My daughter is in Year 3 and is meeting expectations in everything, have the ability to progress to ‘exceed expectations” but don’t see the point and overall consider studying and school boring. Have a close circle of friends, but would not call her a social magnet.

We put lots of effort in her: she has lots of extracurricular; museums, theatres, reading, national trusts, book festivals, you name it, pretty much every weekend without failure. We do reading, maths, music every day.

So I am torn between whether to stay as it is and hope it will be OK or move for a better secondary school but removing my daughter from her familiar social circle which I am not sure she would be able to rebuild.

So whether AIBU for wanting to move to a better secondary school?

And if move, then where? We don’t have family ties, mostly remote jobs with occasional trips to London, budget is up to 700k, we love countryside/outdours. Don’t really have a circle of friends around (another issue), just parents from school.

Currently my favourite is Durham. Love Yorkshire, but not sure whether DD would get into a grammar school. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 17:39

The other thing to bear in mind is that house prices and catchments of the best state schools are being impacted by VAT especially at key entrance ie Yr 1, Yr 7 + Yr 9.

SunnyDolly · 20/09/2025 17:33

For secondary I would yes, and is something I’m also considering. Weirdly we’re in the catchment for the good high school but we’re right on the cusp/outskirts and it’s always oversubscribed. We’re thinking of moving around Y5/Y6 to get closer (the village is much nicer closer to the school too so win win!)

twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 17:28

HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 17:12

I don't feel that moving after starting secondary school will make a lot of sense as I have an impression that the good schools will be oversubscribed for 'in year' move at that point, and there is too much upheaval just to move to 'fine' school.

I agree. You need to move before Yr 6 so that you can choose schools rather than be allocated just anywhere where there is space

Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 17:12

I don't feel that moving after starting secondary school will make a lot of sense as I have an impression that the good schools will be oversubscribed for 'in year' move at that point, and there is too much upheaval just to move to 'fine' school.

OP posts:
Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 17:07

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 20/09/2025 17:00

I certainly wouldn’t move at present, no. Let her start at the local school and see how she gets on. Friendships, clubs and extra curricular activities all add to educating a person.

The overall low attainment levels of the school will surely involve some pupils achieving average, some above, but perhaps a higher than normal level of underachieving pupils. Do you know why that is? They could be recent immigrants, or come from a background where the family doesn’t prioritise education. I think that friendship groups have a huge impact on children in secondary school, and whether they go on to achieve or just mess about (or worse). if your DD joins this secondary alongside a good friendship group, then you are off to a good start.

Look into your options, but do wait until your DD has spent a couple of terms (at least) in the school and see how she is getting on. The rest of your life is perfect, you could move and your DD be in a position where she doesn’t make friends in her new school and you also lose other aspects of your good life.

The low attainment is because the families don't prioritise education, and overall there are not a lot of middle class families with professional jobs where income comes from education achievements. Well-to-do families are either farmers or have well established low key family businesses.

OP posts:
REDB99 · 20/09/2025 17:07

if you’re in Northumberland then QE at Hexham or King Edward’s in Morpeth are your best choices, very closely followed by Ponteland High. I’d send my DD happily to any of these and I work in Education.

Kings Priory Tynemouth and Whitley Bay High are the best choices elsewhere, again I’d be very happy with DD at these.

The other good ones are Catholic: Sacred Heart in Newcastle or Cardinal Hume. But they’re not rural / coastal.

You wouldn’t have to move far to have choice of very good schools if you consider the above.

Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 17:01

twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 16:55

I thought there were some really good state secondary schools up there?

Show quote history

There is Queens Elisabeth in Hexham, with very limited catchment and three tier system. We are not in Hexham. It will require moving pretty much next year to get in Year 5 catchment. So here I am, hoping to talk through all the options.

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 20/09/2025 17:00

I certainly wouldn’t move at present, no. Let her start at the local school and see how she gets on. Friendships, clubs and extra curricular activities all add to educating a person.

The overall low attainment levels of the school will surely involve some pupils achieving average, some above, but perhaps a higher than normal level of underachieving pupils. Do you know why that is? They could be recent immigrants, or come from a background where the family doesn’t prioritise education. I think that friendship groups have a huge impact on children in secondary school, and whether they go on to achieve or just mess about (or worse). if your DD joins this secondary alongside a good friendship group, then you are off to a good start.

Look into your options, but do wait until your DD has spent a couple of terms (at least) in the school and see how she is getting on. The rest of your life is perfect, you could move and your DD be in a position where she doesn’t make friends in her new school and you also lose other aspects of your good life.

twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 16:55

HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 16:54

Northumberland

Show quote history

I thought there were some really good state secondary schools up there?

Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 16:54

twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 16:48

Whereabouts in the North are you?

Northumberland

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 16:48

Whereabouts in the North are you?

Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 16:48

The only private school in the area has results even worse than the state, so will also require moving and all the hassle.
Two lots of private schools (have another DC) are feasible in principle, but not a lot will be left.

OP posts:
Original poster
HHHMMM · 20/09/2025 16:44

The reason of doing homework every day is that we feel that without pulling her she will happily roll back and then it would be more difficult to get from there. She occasionally asks whether she has to work after finishing school and whether she can just stay at home with us.

up to 700k would not get a lot in actual affluent area, we are not (yet) mentally ready to move to 3-bed terrace with mortgage up to 70.

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 20/09/2025 16:40

I live NE and we went to independent secondary for same reasons except our local state school had even worse outcomes!
Durham Johnstone is the best state secondary but the housing is very expensive. Other Durham state schools aren't as good so if you don't get in there then the choices aren't great.

NE has come bottom of national tables yet again for GCSE + A Level results. It has been left behind for decades.

NuffSaidSam · 20/09/2025 16:36

I would move, yes.

To as affluent an area as possible where there is likely to be a good supply of state schools. I would move somewhere more urban where you have a choice of schools and your DD will be able to get out and about by herself as a teenager.

I would also stop doing so much work at home if she's bored and not motivated to learn at school.