Do you have a 'rock'

Have a good husband but emotionally I have nothing to ask from him. Spiritually and destiny wise - the Rock of the ages, He never leaves me nor forsakes me.

My husband and my DM. DF was but he’s really quite ill now so that dynamic is about being his rock now (and DM as she goes through it).

Yes my wonderful Mum she is bloody amazing, always knows when something is wrong. Rings me everyday if I’m low and is generally a wonderful person. I am very lucky.

I am DD rock she is 22 and leans on me heavily, I love it!

My husband and my best friend.

No I don't and I've never really understood what people meant on here when they say their DH is their rock. I can't really rely on anyone but myself, never have been able to, my DH does not have my back, he would watch me fight my own corner but never would he step in and help or stand up for me.

My dad was my rock. He died in 2013 and I still miss being able to ring him for advice. I’m 61…you’d think by now I’d be over it…but I’m not. He was a brilliant dad and a lovely man.

Never had this relationship with my mum, sadly. She was also lovely, but not emotionally able to be there for us.

If you’re lucky enough to still have ‘your rock’, hold them close 💖

I don’t think having a ‘rock’ is a bad thing, indicative of co dependency or anything like that. I take it to mean having a consistent, reliable person in your life who you can trust implicitly. A secure attachment. Always a good thing in my book!

Also hyper independence stemming from unmet childhood needs isn’t resilience. It’s a trauma response.

Not having a ‘rock’ isn’t a sad matter.
i have a full life,a supportive partner and loads of amazing friends. I couldn’t even rely on my parents as a child never mind now, but that gave me a real sense of independence and resilience which has been amazing.
When I see the word ‘rock’ I think of someone you can lean on and rely on for everything. That person is me without a doubt-I wouldn’t want to give that level of power/responsibility to another person

Kind of. I'd say my dad has been my rock in the sense we get on very well and he has helped me financially and never been judgmental.

At the same time I've learned that...I am my own rock and its better that way. The more you rely on other people, they can let you down, I cannot stand being let down or disappointed so I'd rather not rely too much on individual people. It's not really a sad thing, it's actually a wonderfully empowering thing.

I did something yesterday just because I felt like it, didn't matter that I went alone as if I'd arranged to do it with someone they could have cancelled, I got to do it in my way.

No, I don’t have a rock. I’ve just ended up being a rock to everyone else!

I do but I hate calling someone a “rock”. Find it so toxic to label someone as stoic and expect to rely on them all the time. No one should be a rock. My husband is always referred to as a rock and I tell him to reject that label and stop putting others ahead of himself all the time.

I realise I am so fortunate to have my husband and my best friend (from school!). They are both my rocks and I try to be their rocks, too.
My parents were pretty flaky and unreliable, but I hope my adult children consider me to be their rocks, as I aimed to be a very different parent to what I experienced. Judging by the fact I am the first one they phone in floods of tears, I think I've succeeded. Annoyingly, I've ended up being my elderly mother's rock. Which I do not want and she does not deserve, but what can you do? I am so grateful for my DH & friend's support that bolsters me to support others.

Having backup definitely. My parents and PILs would help any way they can, my brother and SIL, my DH, my best friend. All of them I know I could call and they’d come. I wouldn’t call them for the same things but basically all emergencies are covered by those people.

they know they can call on me too

I don’t have one. I am everyone else’s rock.
I can’t rely or call on anyone. No close friends, no siblings, no parents. My children aren’t bothered. Even my DH leans heavily on me and this means I cannot rely on him.

Your post really touched my heart as I have never had that either. From a young age I felt utterly alone and so I became independent, fixed all my own issues and became someone I could totally depend on. Raised two kids alone and gave them plenty of love, affection and support, but now both of them are adults they look at me like I am pathetic and needy if I ask for any help with anything.

Being single doesn't help but unfortunately it took till late in life to realise I was gay (was too buttoned up just trying to manage life I guess) and my chances of meeting my person are now vanishingly small.

My husband, possibly the most dependable person I’ve ever met, and my best friend, friends since we were 4 years old and never a single blip. I’ve a handful of other very close friends I can always rely on, and my parents in law are there no matter what to help as much as they practically can, but DH and my best friend are the two who really spring to mind.

My animals.
I am fiercely independent and won’t rely on anyone for emotional support. Maybe not a good things but it’s the way I am.

No
im my dads support since my mum died but even before they were very much push the chicks off the branch and they will learn to fly.
My ex was abusive, my sister can be great but it comes at a price but she does refuse all support herself. My dh needs support from me but isn’t great at returning the support.
my middle dd is probably the closest thing I’ve got, that’s been in the past few years but I try not to put on her too much.

My Mum most definitely and now my sister and 3 lifelong friends, I am 61 and I know I am very fortunate.

Nope. Am 45 and just realised this very recently. I have no anchor or “safe” person. I rely on myself totally. It’s exhausting

My rock is Jehovah God.

I don’t really. Closest person to being that is my eldest daughter - I can talk to her about anything, she’s such a help with anything practical. Financially l have no safety net or people I could rely on to help me out. It’s a little terrifying and a somewhat lonely place to be sometimes but I’m more resilient than I ever imagined.

I have a couple of people that are more of a stone than a rock, and they do support me, but I’ve learnt that I am the rock. I am my rock. The only person I can 100% rely on, is me.

I know what you mean OP. It can be hard to feel anchored when you don’t have that reliable safe base and safety net to fall back on. I think it links to feeling ultimately unseen, and also not being prioritised. It’s brilliant you will give your children what you never had, and be their rock.

I have a husband and my parents try their best nowadays, but in terms of that lifelong consistency and reliability I credit my two closest friends from childhood. I was so adrift for so long and these friendships have anchored me throughout my life. I feel very fortunate.

I do have that now, in my dh; but before, as a single mum without family nearby my rock was me. I never got anything from them nor did I want it. my parents were very good to me growing up but we drifted apart when I married my exh. I learnt to rely on my own strength and resilience, and eventually met this wonderful man who lives me as I am. I hope you find peace and strength, op.