To say DP should do nights as well as me even tho he works

Many (many) years ago I had twins and my DH used to work long hours, sometimes getting home at 11pm. We used to do one night on and one night off looking after them each (feeding/changing etc) during the night. This worked for us as although he worked during the day I worked twice as hard looking after twins during the day.

Children are hard to look after and he should be pulling his weight whether he ‘earns the money’ or not.

I agree that if you take the bottle away this will likely resolve itself. I took mine away from my babies cold turkey between 1year and 18 months and they both slept through after that.

But yes your partner shouldn't be lording it over you that he earns the money so you can't complain. You contribution is valuable, just because it isn't paid work you are still working and he should help if you are struggling. He works 9-5, you work 24/7 (and you don't even get paid) hardly fair.

No one should have to be waking 3 or 4 times each night with a 2 year old. The bottles need to stop.

2 year old? You need to sort the bottles all night.

If one of the 5 kids (at least) is at college they’re at least 16 and should be getting themselves up and ready and out.

Are all 5 kids his?

Of course he should !! I have one child and my DP does every second night as he realises I have a full time job taking care of our baby all day.

Of course your partner should be helping, it’s his child too. Whatever you choose to do about sleep training or not should be carried out by both of you. The reason he’s earning the money is because you’re up at 6 doing all the stuff that gives him the freedom to do so. That has value and he needs to realise and respect that. You deserve a break in the evening and overnight too.

As it’s the weekend start offering water instead of milk at night and take in turn to have an afternoon nap. Make sure your toddler has a good dinner and perhaps a snack before bed. Giving milk has created the habit of waking up. You will have a few hard nights but ending the wake ups is possible.

OP, if you give your 2 year old a bottle every time he wakes up, guess what? He’ll carry on waking - so just give him water. Three to four times a night is excessive in any case. If your DH is going out to work and you are not, then the DC are your job - so it’s on you to get up to them.

All men should be doing some of the night wakings imo, ALL of them, the excuse of work is BS, when the mothers go back to work and baby still wakes she is still expected to do that so it should not be different for fathers from the start.
You are doing the equivalent of 2 to 3 jobs with 5 children to look after, your work is just not paid work and doing this unpaid work is the only reason your husband can go out and do his job.

At 2 they shouldn’t be waking up multiple times for a bottle.

You (both) should work out a plan to sleep train / get help from a sleep consultant to resolve.

Did you have this issue with your other kids?

A two year old does not need a bottle in the night. You need to come up with a plan together to sleep train him.

Unless you meant a 2 month old? In which case yes DH should help out doing some of the night feeds at the weekends.