To say DP should do nights as well as me even tho he works

@Abdican you could try weaning the bottles by watering down the milk gradually. Even if you took it slowly and replaced 10% with water, then 25%, etc. Of course he screams. DD1 (SN) completely refused to take a sippy cup of milk when she was 8 months old. But I had to go back to work so she had to do it. It was a hairy few days because I knew she wasn't getting what she needed, but she did do it in the end.

The kids can wear ear plugs for a few days. Or, wait until half term break and crack it then, when they don't need the sleep as much.

Because she’s not working and he is. Although given she’s really struggling and presumably not getting opportunities to nap/ rest in the day then yes he should want to help her and not see her struggle.

Utter rubbish. He can only go to work as his children are being cared for by the OP. He doesn’t get to not help in any way because he earns the money.

If the OP continues to shoulder all the burden of childcare she will break. What’s he going to do then?

As I said my love for someone would die a quick death if they saw me struggling to cope and didn’t step up.

Way to stomp on women.

Shoulders the burden or does every single one? There is a difference!

Why not?

Single parents have to do both. She has a partner. Why can't he step up?

YABVU.

He goes to work and earns the money. The SAHP shoulders the burden of the night wakings.

I know when you are exhausted any extra can seem insurmountable however you do need to bite the bullet and go cold turkey with the bottles. Short term pain (and it will be a dodgy few days!) long term gain.

bottles aside. How many days does your dh work? Onthedays he’s working he shouldn’t have to get up but his days off he should do half. So if he works five days he should do one night a week. And he should do one morning a week too so you get a lie in. If he worked six days you should alternate.

They may be the OPs job during the day, when her DH is working however for the rest of the hours they are shared responsibility.

He doesn’t get to do nothing for his children because he works. It doesn’t, and shouldn’t work like that.

Although he can see you are dead on your feet and not stepping up so he is a cunt as far as I am concerned. To knowingly do that to someone you are supposed to love is unacceptable.

I'd absolutely go against the rest here. It is your choice to be a parent of 5 kids, it is not your husband's employer's choice for you to have 5 kids. He is being paid to do a job and therefore is obliged to do it well. It is irresponsible for any working parent, male or female, to turn up to work dead on their feet because they've been up half the night and still expect to be paid. This is especially the case where one of the parents is not working. I'm totally with your husband here.

He should do one night at the weekends, but not the rest of the week when he has work. A SAHP is there precisely to take the burdens of things like night wakings.

Earning the money isn't a sufficient contribution to family life. After working hours it should be shared between you. Why does he think his "job" is 9-5 but yours is 24/7?

But I agree with PP that this particular problem with the sleep needs to be addressed not pandered to. Addressed by both of you though, not you by yourself.

I disagree with most others. I didn't work from when ds was 14 months. I did all the nights because DH had a job, admittedly surgeon genre and needed to be focused at all times. I didn't.

My youngest was also a night waker and needed a bottle in the night to go back to sleep until about three.

The older ones need to be more independent.

I’d go crazy and walk out for the weekend, go to a hotel and sleep. Let him see it’s not a walk in the park. I am one for massive overreactions though.

He isn't settling with a bottle as he is waking up numerous times during the night!

Well if you don’t want to change things this is how it’s going to be.

your choice.

‘Giving in’ because ’it feels impossible’ is not good enough really.
You have 5 kids, sure. You need to step up.
Get this sorted and life will be automatically easier.

Can you make a sleep training plan? Send older kids to family for the weekend and bite the bullet ??

also if you are not married, you are in a very vulnerable position and you need to look at your financial situation and get back into the workforce. Plus DP needs to be doing more parenting as it sounds like he does nothing.

Tonight is the night to stop the bottles , he may well scream but you’ve got to do it at some point or this will carry on forever .

A 2 year old doesn’t need 1 bottle through the night nevermind 3 or 4- tackle that and everything else gets easier. Short term hard for long term easy.

Ensure your 2 year old eats a good tea before they go to sleep , then a bottle in bed, then nothing overnight.
They will soon get used to it , they must be soaking wet from all the fluid . I wonder if that is waking them too.

Whose idea was it to have 5 kids?

You need to get your two year old’s sleep sorted out! Bottles during the night?!?