To have had enough of my friend

definitely take advantage of her silence and block her before she contacts you again. She doesn’t know how to be friends with anyone.

when you keep someone in your life like that you block the way for a positive and supportive person to come into your life. I think there can be a huge pressure from self to continue friendships just because it’s been 30 yrs, but that doesn’t trump abusive behaviour.

' thanks for the update. I'm never going to meet your exacting expectations. We're not compatible as friends. Have a nice life.'

Block, delete, ignore.

It's not you, it's her.

God she sounds awful @Spiritofeden87
Do yourself a huge favour and block her on everything before she deigns you have been punished enough for your latest transgression and gets back in touch .

In the instance the only person you should be worrying about pleasing is yourself.

You sound lovely, she on the other hand...

Oh, here, have a LTB!

💐

Tell her that you've decided you need to end the friendship as it's not working for you.

I couldn’t live like this. Constantly wondering what minor infraction I didn’t even realise I’d made would be used as a stick to beat me. As a previous poster said, if you’re such a terrible friend, why hasn’t she ditched you? The answer is she knows you’ll put up with this shit. Now’s the time to change that.

As an aside, just how excited does anyone get about someone else’s new house?!

One way to work on both of those things would be to tell her that you’re not lonely or desperate enough to put up with her shit and hope she has a happy life.

She has repeatedly given me a list of her expectations from me - is always telling me what she thinks friendship should be.

This is not normal. Who goes round detailing what they expect from their friends (well, apart from her)? I would speculate that her friendships tend to be shortlived, with the exceptions where she has hit on someone who will indulge this nonsense.

You are allowed not to tolerate it, OP.

‘Not meeting expectations’ ? Sounds like she thinks she’s your boss, so she can fuck off with that.
Just move on and ignore her when she decides to get back in touch. You’re a grown up and you get to decide who deserves your time. You don’t have to just jump because someone tells you to.

Do yourself a favour and delete or block her number, she doesn't deserve a break up message, just leave her life and block her from yours, if she doesn't get it when she tries to contact you again then that's her problem.
You can only allow treatment you accept op.

You’re not a crap person, you’re being gaslighted by this woman who refuses to see what a lovely person you are. She’s definitely not your friend so don’t be hers .
You couldn’t possibly please this woman in a million years so I’d definitely cut her loose , you’ll really be happier without her as she brings nothing to your life other than grief . 💐

I'd send her message and say that she clearly has expectations that you will never meet, so let's call it a day. Block, delete and move on. Life is far to short for shit mates -and I speak from experience. My life has been so much better since I ended a friendship 8 years ago, and I have never regretted it for a moment. I too was a massive people pleaser, and one day I just reached my limit of bullshit. You'll feel much better when you've finished it.

You need to be a friend to yourself and stop bothering with her.

I can't understand why you would have someone in your life for so long if you don't like them. Why would you be friends with someone who treats you like this?

It’s not normal to lay down friendship expectations is it? I mean there’s a sort of unspoken agreement that you’ll back each other up and give what time you have but she sounds like she’s not keeping up her end. I would imagine you’re better off out of it?

You deserve to please yourself too!!

Dump this person from your life! You will honestly feel like a weight has been lifted from you!

Look at it this way - if you're such a terrible friend, why is she still friends with you?

It's a control and manipulation technique. Walk away.

I had similar. I still, nearly 20 years later, feel sad because there were so many good things about the friendship. But she was completely unable to see anyone's perspective but her own and ultimately, it destroyed our friendship.

I would have to write and tell her why, then I'd block her immediately afterwards.

You need to work on your boundaries OP!

Who has time for this shit? Block her and forget all about her, she sounds like a total drain on you.

Create a list for her of how she hasn’t met your friendship ’standards’.
End it with: ‘It was nice knowing you for a while, but now, BYE! 👋’

Agree with pps re block her and let it go. This is not a friendship.
But before doing that i don't think i could resist messaging and telling her what i thought of her behaviour, her demands, her selfishness. She doesn't seem to bother about your feelings after all.

I’m fortunate in that I’ve never been a people pleaser. And this isn’t a dig at you, but I find people pleasers very difficult to be around. They tend to tell you what they think you want to hear, meanwhile doing the same with everyone else. Guess what happens? The situations all clash when the PP can’t keep all the balls in the air and they end up letting you down anyway. Much more productive to be honest and straightforward with people and manage expectations realistically.