To have had enough of my friend

Tell her to take a giant flying fuck to herself

Friends are there to build each other up & give supprt not put the other person down & stamp on their self esteem. She sounds like a very unhappy person who is taking her insecurities out on you. Walk away, no need to give a reason, simply say you're too busy to see her then stop responding.

You know this isn't normal don't you? Friends dont give lists of 'expectations' and sulk about people not showing sufficent enthusiam.

Sounds like you're better off without her.
Enjoy the serenity without her drama
Move on and spend time with real friends who value you.
If she does get back in touch (with some BS no doubt), just reply LOL and nothing else. Repeat

I used to have a friend like that. She did turn some other "friends" against me after I ended the friendship as she twisted one of the reasons everything came to a head and they believed her but honestly I've never been happier with a decision, I have some peace now. Get rid of her you'll thank yourself for it.

in fact while she’s ghosting you it’s the perfect opportunity to send her a list on her own poor friendship and see her response.

I think it would actually be more satisfying to not respond at all. What she really wants is for OP to beg for forgiveness, but in the absence of that, a rant about how she is actually the bad friend would do, as it still gives her the drama and attention she craves.

Actually getting what she pretends to want - the end of the friendship - would infuriate her.

Have you ever given her a friendship review.

give her a list of her failings? Sometimes you have to meet madness with madness.

in fact while she’s ghosting you it’s the perfect opportunity to send her a list on her own poor friendship and see her response.

I’d lean into that ghosting and treat it like the gift it is.

Fill your life with nice people and enjoyable things and be too busy if she ever contacts you again.

As you are currently being ghosted just don't respond when she tries to get back in touch. I had a friend who acted similarly. I put up with it for years as she really changed when she got together with her husband so I felt it was his influence. But after 10 years or so of her being really selfish and mean, I cut her out of my life. I still think about her and miss my old friend but I was definitely clinging onto the old friendship. Sounds like the scales have fallen from your eyes. Move on.

@Spiritofeden87

Why the fuck is she still in your life?? Cut her loose & block her everywhere. Now. Don't give her a seconds thought & move on.

Sounds like an abusive relationship type dynamic

You are under no obligation to be friends with her, sure it would be nice if all friendships lasted a lifetime but the reality is that many don't and that's ok. Your friend is responsible for her behaviour and if this friendship ends because of it then that's on her. Don't sit around and wait for her to change because it's highly unlikely to happen. I've been in the same situation myself and I wasted several years with this so-called friend of mine thinking she would improve her behaviour or stop doing the things she was doing but she never did, if anything she got worse and it finally pushed me to end the friendship and I haven't regretted it for a moment. You need to do what's right for you and your life.

Tendencies? Doormat more like. You literally let her verbally and emotionally abuse you and keep coming back for more like a kicked puppy.

The first time a “friend” had given me a list of “expectations” I would have laughed in their face and told them to get to fuck. Friendship should be fun between equals, not a test.

You need to dump her and then do some serious work on your boundaries and self esteem.

Do you let everyone use you like a doormat or just this person ?

Tell her to get F*d and block her.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people on here remain friends for years with people they dislike and who make them feel miserable. Almost every post about friendship woes can be answered with “Just tell her/him to fuck off”, including this one.

This ^

She sounds jealous of you OP, that’s why she’s always trying to do you down. And a control freak. You sound lovely, you need to dump her, she’s dragging you down.

Yep tell her to fuck off.

Ive had a couple of friends like this, and it pushed me to the point where I behaved badly myself and burnt the bridges because I couldn't take it anymore.

Now, I'm relieved they aren't in my life. But I wish I'd had the courage to say something earlier and in a calm way, so please learn from my mistake!

Its tough because she's ground you down and it has likely affected your confidence. But dig deep and find that courage inside you to tell her this "friendship" is not serving you anymore. I am certain you won't regret it.

If you're being ghosted, you should take that.as a blessing! Block her everywhere and find better friends!

I had a ‘friend’ like this. It was awful. It’s akin to the way people don’t leave a partner who is abusive…they chip away at your self esteem over time. It isn’t immediate. I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t have started like this in your ‘friendship’ but they have a way of doing it so sneakily you end up realising one day that it isn’t right. And you definitely shouldn’t be made to feel this way by a person who clearly has some deeply ingrained issues that she needs therapy for.

I snapped one day and replied to my ‘friend’s’ message in kind and never heard from her again. I don’t think she liked my new backbone and the shoe being on the other foot.

Delete her from your life and find someone who’s kind and empathetic.

FYI - It wasn’t immediate relief. I did feel a sense of ‘letting her down’ after years of psychological madness from her but after about six months, I realised how deep her bullying had gone and released myself from the anxiety of ‘disappointing’ her. Best thing I did.

It sounds like she’s bullying you, or coercing you into answering to her.

Tell her to shove her expectations up her hole and from now on you want to be friends with people whose expectations relate only to margaritas and cake.

Just block her and enjoy your peace.

Is this friend Sheldon Cooper? You seem to have unwittingly entered into a relationship agreement.

Sounds awful. You're well rid. You deserve better!

She does sound awful, OP, but you clearly don't like her either and yet you've spent 30 years pretending that you do. That's not true friendship either.

30 years of people pleasing will be a hard habit to break but you need to try because you simply can't make true friends otherwise.