To hate sentimentality about the early years going fast?

Oooh completely agree @AgDulAmach

i’d like to time travel back to the selected highlights of the early years - there weren’t as many as facebook made out.

It sounds like what's pissing you off is the fact that you've had a really hard time and people around you aren't acknowledging that. When they say 'you'll miss it' you're hearing 'it's not as bad as you think it is.' It is as bad as you think it is. It is bloody awful. And you may still miss it. Which makes no sense, I know.

Are you managing to get some time for yourself at the moment?

The days go slowly but, when they reach 18 and are leaving home for university with their worldly possessions packed into the back of the car and you can still remember the day they were born like it was both yesterday and a distant memory, the intervening years also both feel like they lasted a lifetime and passed in the blink of an eye.

But you can never know that until you are doing that last look around their room before you drive them 200 miles away to begin the next stage of their life.

I don't get all the tears and sadness about childen leaving home for university and I'm not a hugely sentimental person but, when you're still mired in the difficult early years, you can't possibly comment on the sentiments of those on the other side because you haven't been there yet!

I voted YANBU because I remember very well how hard things were then.
And yes it felt like things got easier and easier as they get older.

Now I have two dcs who are young adults and I’d probably be more likely to say ‘those years go away quickly. Cherish them’ 😁😁
I think when you’re in the middle of the storm and struggling, it’s very easy to miss the good parts. The cuddles, the laughter, being silly etc…. So yes, maybe it’s worth being reminded of that.
fwiw I think that’s why being a grand parent can be so great. You can get all the nice bits, the cuddles, the laughs wo the strain kf everyday life. Therefore actually enjoying those moments, when you probably didn’t with your own dcs!

Miaow

For heaven's sake, you have a 4 year old, you're still neck deep in early years. It feels slow at the time.

Now he's 28, I do sometimes wonder where my 6 year old went. And the 3 year old, who sang from from the moment of waking to bedtime.

I have got a 30 year old and am sentimental about the younger years although it was SO hard at the time.

Absolutely this. I’d go back to those days in a heartbeat.
sorry you find that sentimental OP, but I loved having little children and miss those days so much as hard as they were.
Don’t get me wrong I adore my now adult children but the early years were the best of my life.

I didn’t miss those years. I preferred it when they were much older but everyone is different.

Horses for courses, really. I don't feel that sort of nostalgia and personally loved them growing up and being able to do more and rely on me less, though I enjoyed the early years too. It's fine for people to feel that way but I suppose I find it irritating when people act as if everyone should or must feel nostalgia, as though you're not doing parenting properly if you don't feel sad when they get more mature.

When I was in the trenches I never thought I would. As a parent of a 14 yo, well, tbh I still don’t. But I do miss the tiny size, the squishiness, the cuddles , the little cute voice and mispronounced words. Basically the cute , lovely bits. Would I do it all over again? Fuck no! I definitely do get nostalgic sometimes, especially when looking at pictures(moments rather than days, or worse years).

I’ve never missed the early years. My sons are grown men now and it’s so much better. Hated school as well

It is infinitely easier to find 12 cute photos for the grandparents annual calendar when they are under 5. I have far fewer photos of my tweens and a lot of them are really unflattering 😅 I do miss them being effortlessly cute!

I agree though with the OP. Toddlers need different parenting to under 10s who need different parenting to teenagers - I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some people are going to dislike one of those stages.

Teenagers are also annoying and exhausting in a different way! They don't wake you up early but they keep you up late while you wait for them to get home and worry about their safety. My husband and I take turns waiting up for teenagers in the way that we used to take turns getting up at 5am with toddlers!

I didn’t mean things like that. Yeah, sitting at the side of the pool is the easy bit. There’s a lot more to parenting older kids and teens than that.
But as you’re unwilling to see the perspective of someone who has been where you are, and is now out the other side, I’ll leave it there.

Yeah, that's fair @highlandcoo - maybe you won't! All I'm saying is that I felt exactly as you do at the stage you're currently at, and I surprised myself by still feeling nostalgic later. When your kids are older teens and they no longer need you in the same way, it's hard, even for a parent like me who absolutely hated having a clingy needy toddler.

I have fond memories of the early years, but I really don't get the over sentimental "OMG she's growing up so fast why can't she stay my baby forever" (I have a cousin who does that and it irritates me). My only DC is 13 now and I enjoy getting to know her as she becomes more of her own person. Being sentimental about the early years doesn't bring them back and risks you missing out on the good things about the present. There have been some tough times, but whilst some of her younger years were fun, they definitely had stressful times too. I also look forward to the future - seeing what kind of adult she will become, seeing her succeed, becoming a grandparent etc. (As well as getting more time to myself!)

Being a parent to teens is a whole other world. When my DS and DD were five and three they'd be up at 6am, then I had to get them breakfast and take them out before things started to get crazy.

Now that they're 15 and 13, I'm in bed at 11am, my DS is at a club in the next county and my DD is getting ready to go shopping with her friends. I don't know if I'll see them at all today. It's a tough adjustment, going from being so needed all the time to being a background bit-player. I'm ok with it, and I mostly enjoy it but it's still weird. It's at this point that I look back and think how short the intense time of always doing stuff with them was. It's a hard one to explain I think - it's only when you experience it that it becomes clear (much like how it's hard to explain to anyone what being a parent is like before they actually become a parent).

And the treadmill doesn’t stop either! With the number of extra curricular activities my kids do, play dates, parties etc if anything the treadmill has got faster. In hindsight, getting them to nursery and back, feeding them, playing with them, bedtime routine etc was the easy bit, for me. I feel much more pressure now they’re older.

I agree it’s exactly like people wittering on about your schooldays being the best days of your life. I mean, if they were I genuinely feel sorry for you.