To hate sentimentality about the early years going fast?

I completely could agree with this before however now my son has started secondary and my daughter is 7 and her own little person really (and bloody hard work) I’m sad that they won’t be my children forever and live with me forever 😂 my husband can’t wait till they all leave but I’m so sad. He keeps saying my son is going to be leaving in 6 years and Im devastated.

I agree op. I hate that twee shite about maybe this is the last time they will hold you hand and such bollocks. It all seems purely designed to make mothers feel guilty for not devoting 100% of themselves to the raising of small children.

I joke with my teenager that he’ll always be my baby but I don’t mean I want those days back or that I look at now with sadness because those days have passed. I found having small children who relied on me 100% for everything overwhelming and I felt much better when they got older and I wasn’t needed as much in that way.

Hahaha! My newborn clearly didn't get the memo then.

Anyway
no idea why I'm responding to a goady twat
seems that the PND and angst although 30 years old still comes back in waves when I'm reminded of that time and also I can imagine there are plenty of people out there right now in the trenches who really don't need that sort of smug bollocks thrown at them

PMSL laughing at all newborns do is sleep
tell that to my refluxy colicky eldest who could scream for 6 hours straight and barely slept for more than 90 minutes unbroken til he was five months old
ye gods are people so utterly devoid of brain power that they can imagine not everyone has the same experience as them

All newborns do is sleep!

I was back at work when she was a week old. I wasn't up at all because I co-sleep and babies sleep soundly when you co-sleep. I didn't try to put baby to sleep in their own crib becuase they never want to and you end up knackered. It's not luck, it's just responding to baby's needs.

If you’re up every hour then it’s horrible. Some people have little support and very isolated. Life can feel very horrible for them. Think yourself fortunate your experience is different.

Of course you can’t envisage feeling any nostalgia as you’re still in the thick of it and not especially enjoying it by the sound of it. I don’t miss the early years, but mine are 32, 21 and 17 and you certainly do look back and wonder where the time went. When your kids don’t need you anymore it’s a mixed feeling for sure. Some parents take it really hard, others ready to move onto next stage. I always tell my colleagues that famous phase the days are long but the years are short because it’s true. You won’t feel it now after 5yrs but you likely will one day. It’s also hard because you realise how your life has passed by, and before you know it you’re facing 5 decades on the planet and realise you’re closer to retirement and death! Try and enjoy it even though its hard, as it certainly will pass you by.

I don't miss the baby years at all! I was bored senseless during maternity leave and cried an awful lot with loneliness.

I wouldn't go back to those days for anything.

But if we hadn't weathered those storms together, I wouldn't have the people they have become in my life either.

However, it would be nice to experience their younger selves again for just a brief moment. But I wouldn't want to repeat any of it!

But it was horrible and hard. It was really tough. That is the actual experiences people live.

Nobody is saying their baby was horrible.

Both can be true too. You may have really struggled with really hard stuff and also miss how tiny and cute they were. Not meaning you want to go back to those days with all of the hard stuff, just feeling like they were so so tiny and time flies by and now they seem huge. It doesn't deny the hardship, it's just a little rose tinted looking back.

I think it's unreasonable to "hate" others' sentimentality about something just because you don't feel the same way. You're not sentimental about those years, fine (you're not alone). But to hate the fact others do is weird.

Absolutely. Ours are 30 and 22 now. Where the hell did those years go?

But if you suffer from PND and/or have a newborn who doesn't sleep then it genuinely is horrible. I'm glad you had an easy time of it, but not everyone does.

I think the pre school years take an absolute age, but once they start school time just speeds up enormously. I really don't know where the last few years have gone. But I agree with you that the very young years were awful, and I much prefer my primary school aged kids. I don't miss the baby/toddler stage at all, but I do occasionally think it's a shame they aren't small enough to properly curl up on my lap for a cuddle anymore, or it's sad that I'll never get to push the pram around again...silly things like that!

I hate it when people say they get easier as they get older.

No they don’t for everyone. So don’t count your chickens.

'No one on facebook can believe their kid is turning any age'

For me it's calling the newborn stage horrible. I absolutely love it and find it easy and enjoyable. I think calling it hard or horrible is .... horrible.

Years one and two were the worst of my life, not just of ds's childhood! He's a young adult now so I can definitely say I will never look back on them fondly or miss them. Now he's flipping wonderful and I'm so proud of him, I enjoyed every stage since then but the first couple of years were just horrible.

Mine are older now and I can relate to the sentimentality you are talking about.
I miss the magic and the simplicity of their little problems - for the most part I could fix things for them and their little worlds were so safe. They found everything utterly fascinating and wondrous.

Nowadays, their lives are complex and they navigate situations I can’t be there for. Christmas and things have changed obviously. They are still brilliant people but it does seem like their childhoods went by in a flash.
I cry now at that ABBA song about time slipping through fingers 🙈

I would go back to the toddler years in a heartbeat. Everyone kept saying it would be a nightmare when she started walking but I absolutely loved it. But I found the newborn stage hard. I think some of it is tied up in how I felt about myself - I wasn't a confident new mother, I was wracked with anxiety, I was petrified of SIDS, and I had to work so, so hard at being a mum, none of it came 'naturally'. But I was so much more sure of myself in the toddler years and I was patient and soft and loved watching my daughter discover the world and being in it with her.

I miss all that softness and I do miss that she needed me more, and it's almost painful how much I miss the little toddler arms round my neck. Even more so now that she's pulling away a bit, becoming more independent, less cuddly, more argumentative. But I still love her now and how she is now - her chat is second to none, she's a truly funny, personable wee girl, and I love seeing her logically work through developing opinions on and approaches to things.

The upshot is that we're just all different, enjoy different things, have different relationships with our children at different times. I also understand why parents can be desperate for their children to have children - it must be like you get the baby back for a little while.

I’m with you OP (kids age 8 and 4, 4). I am doing my best to enjoy them but there’s a lot that isn’t enjoyable or worth dwelling on.

I was glad when the very early years were done as didn’t find them easy at all. Now they are older and becoming adults I feel sad it’s all done and feel I didn’t cherish it enough at the time. But hey that’s life right.

You do get that freedom back a bit - when I started going on trips where they could carry their own bags, move at a normal speed, sit on their own without 500 snacks and read, it was a lot more fun.

I know exactly what you mean about being stuck in kid land @higlandcoo - made worse by the fun suckers who insist all kid related events have to be dry these days (not that I’d ever get especially drunk whilst in charge but there’s a sensible
middle ground)…