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AIBU?

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Dating new guy - competitive comments

55 replies

confuseddating · 19/09/2025 20:45

I’ve been dating someone for 3 months and things are going well so far, but I’ve noticed that when we’re having a conversation that he often diverts it to himself and it feels like he’s trying to compete / ‘out do’ me.

here are some examples

  1. I had a busy day recently, I mentioned it on a call and started to explain what had happened, he cut over me saying ‘I’ve had the busiest day ever, because of x,y,z’

  2. we were having a deep conversation and I said that it has been a really tough year for me (I’ve had some shit things happen this past year), he cuts over me saying ‘no one has had a harder year than I have because of x,y,z’

  3. I bought a new car recently, I drove it to his place and whilst I wasn’t expecting him to be overly excited about it, he didn’t say a word - I asked if he liked the car, his response was ‘yes it’s nice, I used to have that model, it was top spec’

  4. we were at my house and something was said about my kitchen, I said I need a new one as it’s really old now, before I could finish he interrupts telling me that in his last house he had a brand new kitchen that had loads of extras and cost £25,000

  5. on our second or third date he commented on my handbag - ‘I know how expensive that was, I bought several for my ex’

  6. one afternoon I mentioned an activity I was going to take my DC to, I notice on social media 2 hours later that he’s doing said activity with his DC (neither of us have done this activity with our DC since we’ve been together) - he may have genuinely thought my idea was a good one, but in a weird way it felt like him competing

I’m not a competitive person or a braggy person, so I feel that these interactions are weird, it’s almost like instead of being happy for me (with the car) or hearing me out (when I said about the tough year) he has to get his point in about how he’s done better / worse. These are just a few examples, I could probably think of loads more.

when he does these interruptions, I let it slide, I don’t pull the conversation back to myself - but I’ve started noticing them more and more and doing an internal eye roll.

Other than this, we have a good time together and I enjoy his company, I just wish we could have conversations that flow where we each say about our experiences instead of him cutting over me and proving how he’s ’out done’ me.

my aibu - this is a red flag. Or am I noticing something that’s not really an issue, he’s just making conversation

OP posts:
Wegovy2026 · 19/09/2025 20:52

Any man that commented on an expensive handbag would be a no from me. Don’t know what’s tackier the glaringly obvious expensive handbag or him noticing it!

confuseddating · 19/09/2025 20:52

Chat gpt’s opinion on this is that he may be insecure… (yes, I’m sad enough to have asked AI about this!)

OP posts:
WildWildHorses · 19/09/2025 20:51

Ahh, if you’ve been to Tenerife he’s been to Elevenarife, very wearing.
I would either raise it and see if he can improve on his rudeness, or just throw him back.
Usually people with such bad social skills at this point in life (I’m guess 40+) are unlikely to change sadly.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 19/09/2025 20:50

I don't think that is going to get better...

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/09/2025 20:48

Sorry, he sounds like a dick