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Original poster

Kindly, Gently...

257 replies

MasterBeth · 19/09/2025 20:02

Am I Being Unreasonable to think that writing Kindly or Gently at the beginning of a post is a pointless, performative piece of nonsense.

We'll decide if what you say is kind or gentle, thank-you very much.

OP posts:
MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 21:57

Enigma54 · 19/09/2025 20:07

Definitely

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An old boss told me this, can I kindly ask - passive aggressive. Never used it since 😂

Instead though you still have to fucking use flattery and charm to get anyone to do anything.

Hey so and so, heard you are really good at X, sounds amazing, can you show me some time.

Rather than, please can you do that things you should have done fucking ages ago.

ChippyChipsChippyChips · 19/09/2025 21:57

sminted · 19/09/2025 21:55

I always think it's used to try and make a posters offensive comment seemingly less offensive but it's completely transparent.

Gently OP, do you have a mental health issue?

Kindly OP, you sound like you hate your dc

Used in those terms it absolutely is a clear arsehole move.

sminted · 19/09/2025 21:55

I always think it's used to try and make a posters offensive comment seemingly less offensive but it's completely transparent.

Gently OP, do you have a mental health issue?

Kindly OP, you sound like you hate your dc

NormaSears · 19/09/2025 21:54

@Gonners , I find the kindly a bit menacing.

@Theboymolefoxandhorse , you may not have intended it to be but it comes across as patronising.

@CoffeeCantata . They probably ask for a report or invoice or something. I'm so crap at making tea even I won't drink it.

BetterWithPockets · 19/09/2025 21:46

Sorry. I sort of don’t mind/quite like it. I think it’s a nice(ish) way of saying to someone you’re wrong and here’s why but I don’t mean to be a knob and I hope you take it in the way it’s intended…

northernballer · 19/09/2025 21:45

SafeSex · 19/09/2025 20:44

How can a building be compulsory?

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Gently, it's a common term for an all company meeting.

Berlinlover · 19/09/2025 21:42

I’ve started saying this to my partner when I’m about to bring up a difficult subject because he’s so oversensitive.

CoffeeCantata · 19/09/2025 21:41

NormaSears · 19/09/2025 21:28

To be honest with you, ...

'Would you kindly make me a cup of tea?' is almost guaranteed to have me make it very weak and milky, or to not quite boil the water.

Who says that to you? Are they being serious?

Theboymolefoxandhorse · 19/09/2025 21:41

I’ve certainly used it and never meant it to be pass agg or wanky 🤣 genuinely trying to deliver maybe a home truth or just a difficult statement to hear kindly and or gently. As others have said I’ve used it mostly when there’s been a pile on to an OP and trying to explain a point without seeming like I’m also piling on.

interesting to see other perspectives on it, as others have said it can be difficult to assess tone through text so for me personally it’s helpful - appreciate not for everyone

Gonners · 19/09/2025 21:40

"Could you kindly do X" translates, in my head, as a threat: "... Or There Will Be Unpleasant Consequences For You!"

Hedgehogbrown · 19/09/2025 21:40

Just remember to store it in the shared drive next time 😊

Foundationns · 19/09/2025 21:38

Blossoms217 · 19/09/2025 20:21

I always put kindly if I send a request over! I'm not being aggressive just nice!

If you say ‘could you kindly send me the document ’, it’s fine. ‘Kindly, can you send me the document’ is nonsense.

NettleandBramble · 19/09/2025 21:37

I hate polite reminders. I get a polite reminder for my nail appointment that makes me all scratchy on the inside.

Cardiaga · 19/09/2025 21:36

Urgh. I also hate 'kind regards'. F@*k with your kind regards! Kindness is not attribute you can claim, its something felt by the recipient- or not.

grumpygrape · 19/09/2025 21:35

LightsDifficulty · 19/09/2025 21:29

Yes I hate it too. Also "polite notice". What happened to the word "please".

It also makes me slightly long for the straightforward rudeness of this kind of sign that they use in Paris. At least you know where you are with that.

Polite notice started off to try and con people into thinking it read Police Notice but didn't really fool most folks.
Please, to me, would have more effect but even then, if it's not illegal has no clout.
I too struggle with kind regards. I mean, what other sort of regards are there ,? 🤔

Foundationns · 19/09/2025 21:34

Hate ‘kindly’ and gently’. Didn’t know it was bloody AI but at least humans have not sunk that low.

CoffeeCantata · 19/09/2025 21:32

NormaSears · 19/09/2025 21:24

@Calliopespa , both make the speaker sound a bit thick.

I dislike the way posters say 'going against the grain' when they express an opinion that isn't that of the majority of posters.

But isn’t that what going against the grain means?

LightsDifficulty · 19/09/2025 21:29

Yes I hate it too. Also "polite notice". What happened to the word "please".

It also makes me slightly long for the straightforward rudeness of this kind of sign that they use in Paris. At least you know where you are with that.

Kindly, Gently...
GinToBegin · 19/09/2025 21:29

Does this mean we can all agree that Kind Regards at the end of an email needs to get in the bin? I only ever use Regards, the kind bit is implied.

Same with ‘sincere apology’, just give me the damned apology - if you mean it, it’ll be obvious. Adding sincere just implies to me that the writer also makes insincere apologies, or that they’re a hand-wringing lick-spittle with rheumy eyes and a crush on the local church warden.

Oh, and ‘proper’ anything can fuck off, too. That just makes me want something very much improper.

Thanks, OP, I feel better for that.

Enigma54 · 19/09/2025 21:28

grumpygrape · 19/09/2025 21:25

With the greatest respect, I don't think people are .... 😏

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Gently, this passive aggressive shite, seems to be common on MN. 🤣

NormaSears · 19/09/2025 21:28

To be honest with you, ...

'Would you kindly make me a cup of tea?' is almost guaranteed to have me make it very weak and milky, or to not quite boil the water.

Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 21:27

grumpygrape · 19/09/2025 21:25

With the greatest respect, I don't think people are .... 😏

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Totally my experience. Neither respectful or kind,

AleynEivlys · 19/09/2025 21:25

100% with you, it's vomitworthy.

Haveaproperty · 19/09/2025 21:25

It reminds me of ladies who warden the church hall and wear mid length pleated skirts and have set perms. It's ok when they say it though. Not in the way it is said here 😂

grumpygrape · 19/09/2025 21:25

thereneverwasacloudyday · 19/09/2025 20:50

Kindly, I think you're all being a bit too sensitive about this.

😜

With the greatest respect, I don't think people are .... 😏