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Original poster

Kindly, Gently...

257 replies

MasterBeth · 19/09/2025 20:02

Am I Being Unreasonable to think that writing Kindly or Gently at the beginning of a post is a pointless, performative piece of nonsense.

We'll decide if what you say is kind or gentle, thank-you very much.

OP posts:
gannett · 20/09/2025 08:15

I love seeing "kindly" on MN. When I see it I brace myself for some absolute Grade A cuntiness to follow. Very entertaining and the reason I read this site.

If anything "gently" is even worse and tends to precede nuclear-level insults. "Gently, it sounds like you are an unfit mother, a toxic person and the source of all your loved ones' distress."

CoffeeCantata · 20/09/2025 08:02

crunchynutgirl · 20/09/2025 07:56

That said, I hate asking people to do things for me and become confused and wordy and say things like "Would you perhaps be so kind as to possibly pass the salt please?", so it's a good job not everyone is like me.

As I said upthread, I wouldn’t dare with anyone but family, but I do get a lot of p/a, sarcastic fun out of making extremely wordy, almost baroque, circumlocutions when asking for something. I like to keep these old traditions going!

luckylavender · 20/09/2025 07:59

I also loath ‘kind hands’ when talking about children. I feel I know what sort of parents they are.

NotAMessiahJustAVeryNaughtyBoy · 20/09/2025 07:58

I find it so patronising. Especially ‘gently’.

Twistedfirestarters · 20/09/2025 07:58

See, I don't mind people using expressions like 'polite reminder', or adding 'kindly' on to an instruction. I can see people are trying to soften what is basically a command. I get that.

It only really bugs me on here where people preface what is usually some sort of horribly judgemental comment with it. That sort of shit can't be softened and it's all about making the poster feel better about the fact they're being an arsehole.

crunchynutgirl · 20/09/2025 07:56

That said, I hate asking people to do things for me and become confused and wordy and say things like "Would you perhaps be so kind as to possibly pass the salt please?", so it's a good job not everyone is like me.

crunchynutgirl · 20/09/2025 07:51

PollyBell · 20/09/2025 01:49

What's the difference in a reminder or a gentle reminder?

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I repond to reminders. I delete gentle reminders.

OhLordWontYouBuyMeAMercedesBenz · 20/09/2025 07:06

YANBU OP

And to those who say it, Kindly Gently Fuck Off !

NormaSears · 20/09/2025 05:48

MorrisZapp · 19/09/2025 22:06

I use kindly in work letters and emails, when asking someone to do something. I like it, I'm old and it feels comfortable to me.

I'm not exactly young and I would like to kindly and gently point out that it comes across as patronising.

@Gonners summed it up in If someone says to me "Would you kindly do X", instead of (for example) "Could you please do X", my hackles rise. I am also old, and it's something that has provoked that response for more than 50 years! In my professional life, I would never, ever have said or written it.

As for the 'gentle reminder', it is just a reminder.

I hate extra words like 'Please be advised that' or 'Please be aware that'. I'm bored already, just tell me.

thepariscrimefiles · 20/09/2025 04:59

It's so annoying, particularly when it's a previx to a vitriolic dressing down of the OP.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/09/2025 02:40

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:52

I stand up to bullies too. Hence this post. No one is going to bully me about the language I use - especially if I use particular phrases to express my awareness of how language can sometimes be harmful and is also easily misconstrued as such - especially online.

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I’m a bully?

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/09/2025 02:25

PollyBell · 20/09/2025 01:41

People are free to use it if they want, sounds very patronising to me but maybe people need to grow a backbone and stop endlessly feeling judged if i want to say it i will nothing other people can say will stop that

People can have any opinion they want it shouldn't stop people using it

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Noted

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 02:14

User21548967 · 20/09/2025 01:58

.

I can see from this post that your preference is for an unnecessary wordy writing style so it is unsurprising that you use gentle and kindly too.

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Is this an example of the emails you send at work?

ChippyChipsChippyChips · 20/09/2025 02:04

User21548967 · 20/09/2025 01:58

.

I can see from this post that your preference is for an unnecessary wordy writing style so it is unsurprising that you use gentle and kindly too.

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Oh no, not wordy!

User21548967 · 20/09/2025 01:58

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:52

I stand up to bullies too. Hence this post. No one is going to bully me about the language I use - especially if I use particular phrases to express my awareness of how language can sometimes be harmful and is also easily misconstrued as such - especially online.

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.

I can see from this post that your preference is for an unnecessary wordy writing style so it is unsurprising that you use gentle and kindly too.

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:55

User21548967 · 20/09/2025 00:34

Thank you for your kind suggestion.

Unfortunately I received a gentle reminder that people who wish to enforce blunt objects on people's heads are not the audience that anger mgt. groups wish to attract and they'd kindly request that I do not attend.

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With respect, you sound somewhat unhinged.

JustineRobots · 20/09/2025 01:54

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:48

Why does it matter that men never use it? Perhaps they should use it more.

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Or everyone should use it less?

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:52

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/09/2025 01:03

I really don't. Because I am very happy standing up to a bully. But PA is like punching smoke.

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I stand up to bullies too. Hence this post. No one is going to bully me about the language I use - especially if I use particular phrases to express my awareness of how language can sometimes be harmful and is also easily misconstrued as such - especially online.

PollyBell · 20/09/2025 01:49

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:48

Why does it matter that men never use it? Perhaps they should use it more.

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What's the difference in a reminder or a gentle reminder?

WeeGeeBored · 20/09/2025 01:48

User21548967 · 20/09/2025 00:40

It absolutely does.

It also makes me think the writer has very poor writing skills and is a poor communicator.

I have NEVER received an email from a man with the words 'gentle reminder'.

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Why does it matter that men never use it? Perhaps they should use it more.

PollyBell · 20/09/2025 01:41

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/09/2025 01:26

But you have offered your opinion in such a way as to try and shame others into not using it anymore.

And, to forestall your response, you really have.

Your language is deliberately belittling and shaming. In fact I would suggest that you are prompting others to also belittle and shame, it all a bit mean and bitchy.

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People are free to use it if they want, sounds very patronising to me but maybe people need to grow a backbone and stop endlessly feeling judged if i want to say it i will nothing other people can say will stop that

People can have any opinion they want it shouldn't stop people using it

JustineRobots · 20/09/2025 01:33

MasterBeth · 19/09/2025 20:02

Am I Being Unreasonable to think that writing Kindly or Gently at the beginning of a post is a pointless, performative piece of nonsense.

We'll decide if what you say is kind or gentle, thank-you very much.

YANBU. It’s all “Kindly, you are as thick as cement pudding and shouldn’t be allowed out of the house”.

Why they think putting “kindly” at the beginning makes any difference is a mystery to me.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/09/2025 01:26

MasterBeth · 20/09/2025 00:41

I am offering my opinion which you are free to take or leave as you wish. I have offered no opinion on what matters more.

Edited
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But you have offered your opinion in such a way as to try and shame others into not using it anymore.

And, to forestall your response, you really have.

Your language is deliberately belittling and shaming. In fact I would suggest that you are prompting others to also belittle and shame, it all a bit mean and bitchy.

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 20/09/2025 01:25

What I find funny is 'Polite Notice'!

NoelFurlong · 20/09/2025 01:06

Thank you, OP. It’s becoming a ‘thing’ on here (often in Relationships were it’s clear from the get-go that the OP is an absolute doormat) and it fucking annoys me.

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