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Original poster

Kindly, Gently...

257 replies

MasterBeth · 19/09/2025 20:02

Am I Being Unreasonable to think that writing Kindly or Gently at the beginning of a post is a pointless, performative piece of nonsense.

We'll decide if what you say is kind or gentle, thank-you very much.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/09/2025 20:24

northernballer · 19/09/2025 20:21

Urgh, I had someone 'softly' ask me to attend a compulsory Town Hall once.

I need a shower.

Yuk.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/09/2025 20:23

Blossoms217 · 19/09/2025 20:21

I always put kindly if I send a request over! I'm not being aggressive just nice!

But why?

Hi Bloss, any chance you could X. Thanks!

Morning Blossom, I need a favour. Could you X? Let me know if it doesn’t work.

No need for a ‘kindly’.

EmeraldRoulette · 19/09/2025 20:22

I think it's useful online

Partly because you don't know the person you're talking to

Also partly because so much Internet-speak has woven its way into ordinary language, it's easy to think you're using terminology that everybody knows but they maybe don't. And that can lead to a muddle

Also, I've used it on here when people were piling on to a poster who was struggling to cope with something that other people think is just day-to-day stuff. Sometimes there can be such a big pile on that it's helpful to use these words so they know it's worth replying to you and they know that you're actually willing to help out.

I've had a super shit day because of things that people would probably consider every day normal pedestrian stuff. sometimes it's the tiny things that send you over the edge.

I'm smart enough to know not to post on here in this situation. Though I could probably post on a mental health thread

But some people will post here expecting help and they just get complete shit.

So yeah

Fizbosshoes · 19/09/2025 20:21

Im guilt of this on fb, if im giving away something for free on a local group, I "politely" request that can they only comment if they can collect from x
....to (try to) stop time wasters saying they want literally anything thats free and either saying its too far for them, or just not bothering to collect

Blossoms217 · 19/09/2025 20:21

I always put kindly if I send a request over! I'm not being aggressive just nice!

northernballer · 19/09/2025 20:21

Urgh, I had someone 'softly' ask me to attend a compulsory Town Hall once.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/09/2025 20:19

Jadedpersuaded · 19/09/2025 20:14

Do you think it could be used to ensure that whatever is written is not misconstrued? It can be easy to infer a tone in written communication that is not meant...

It’s meant that way (sometimes) but often it’s someone who is PA pretending to be assertive but using ALL the qualifying words.

Basically, I want to say something shitty but I don’t want the consequences. Pick one.

Enigma54 · 19/09/2025 20:18

TigerDroveAgain · 19/09/2025 20:11

I’ve found my people!

Me too!!!

Calliopespa · 19/09/2025 20:16

Jadedpersuaded · 19/09/2025 20:14

Do you think it could be used to ensure that whatever is written is not misconstrued? It can be easy to infer a tone in written communication that is not meant...

I think it probably is.

Calliopespa · 19/09/2025 20:16

It's like the mean girl gang at school: " I'm not being mean, BUT ... "[proceeds to ridicule some poor victim]

Buxusmortus · 19/09/2025 20:15

Totally agree, I only ever seen it on here, with posters "gently" suggesting xyz. Why do they have to add the gently, what on earth difference does it make to a suggestion to add the word? To me it smacks of someone who is being incredibly patronising but who is also a total wimp who is afraid to own their own words. I imagine some mimsy handwringing do-gooder hovering over the person she's making a suggestion to. And no man in the world ever would use the word gently when offering an opinion, so why do some women do it?

Whereismyjoiedevivre · 19/09/2025 20:15

Pandorea · 19/09/2025 20:13

I think it makes the rest of the sentence seem weirdly sinister. I get the image of someone advancing in a lab coat with a large syringe.

I’m thinking Nicole Kidman as the taxidermist in Paddington 😆

Jadedpersuaded · 19/09/2025 20:14

Do you think it could be used to ensure that whatever is written is not misconstrued? It can be easy to infer a tone in written communication that is not meant...

decenteringmen · 19/09/2025 20:13

It immediately makes me want to scream.

Pandorea · 19/09/2025 20:13

I think it makes the rest of the sentence seem weirdly sinister. I get the image of someone advancing in a lab coat with a large syringe.

Whereismyjoiedevivre · 19/09/2025 20:13

Agree. I also hate it when people write Polite Notice at the start of a notice

eg Polite Notice: No Parking
or at work: Polite Notice: Don’t leave dirty cups by the sink

Just write
No Parking
Wash up your own cup
etc
FGS

JaquelineHide · 19/09/2025 20:13

It's SO patronising.

Hysterectomynext · 19/09/2025 20:13

Oh gosh me too. It’s absolutely awful. Condescending/ passive aggressive claptrap! The self importance of it all.

TigerDroveAgain · 19/09/2025 20:11

I’ve found my people!

EveryDayisFriday · 19/09/2025 20:11

"Kindly" screams scammer to me.

LarkspurLane · 19/09/2025 20:09

Someone "politely" said something really rude to me on here once and I am still stewing over it about three years later. I'd rather someone was just directly rude (if they have to be rude at all)

ilovesooty · 19/09/2025 20:08

It's often anything but.

I'm also not keen on "I am silently judging you" then going on to do it anything but silently.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/09/2025 20:07

If you have to say, it isn’t true. Posh Spice Principle.

Enigma54 · 19/09/2025 20:07

Imaginariums · 19/09/2025 20:06

Kindly is a bit passive aggressive

Definitely

Enigma54 · 19/09/2025 20:07

Yes, fuck off to “ kindly, gently”
SAY what you want.