My DS is 3 but young for his year group (summer birthday) and is not yet potty trained. We had started to make some progress before my DD (8mo) came along, but I was advised by my health visitor not to push it in case he associated it with my daughter and it caused any resentment (she has nappies why can’t I etc). Anyway we waited for a few months and then continued, fairly softly approach with lots of offering the potty and encouragement. At this point he is entirely aware of what he is doing, capable of ‘holding it’ etc, and we have had periods where the potty or toilet was used almost exclusively for a day or two. But recently he has gone totally backward. I get the impression the novelty has worn off and he prefers the convenience of nappies. I think he is the last child in his nursery group and friends in nappies, and a lot of the others have been out of them for up to a year or more.
Anyway my AIBU is that tonight I totally lost my temper with him over this. We had gone to the park after nursery pick up and he had obviously done a no2 at some point without me noticing when he was playing. I realised when we were leaving due to smell and some leakage on his trousers. Also important to note he gets awful nappy rash, has very sensitive skin. I have told him over and over to tell me when he has a dirty nappy so I can change it quickly and he won’t get sore, and of course stressed that he won’t get a sore bum anymore if he uses the potty. We got home from the park and as soon as I started to change him he was screaming bloody murder over his sore bum. It gets so bad he can’t even wash because of the water. Anyway, I basically lost my temper and shouted ‘shut up, this is your fault for not telling me when you needed your nappy changed’ and I said ‘no more nappies after this!’ And I put pants on him. Of course i know I shouldn’t have lost my temper, it is the worse thing I have ever said or done to him and I feel awful. but it is so frustrating knowing he is capable but choosing not to use the potty and hurting himself as a result!. So my AIBU is- will it be damaging or cause negative associations if we take a cold turkey approach now and don’t allow any more nappies? I don’t want to risk him regressing if I’ve totally traumatised him, and create negative associations. All advice welcome thanks!