Think it's odd I've been left out ??

I posted something similar a couple of months ago and was told IWBU for expecting to be included.

Didn’t stop me from being very upset. I’ve now taken a huge step back from the friendship in question.

Stuff like this happened to me more times than I care to remember when I was younger. I am a really good listener, would give advice, always the one friends went to to off load about the wanker boyfriend....then I'd find out there'd been a party/meetup/ plans and I'd not be invited! Almost like I wasn't considered unless I was being a listening ear.
Personally I wouldn't go fishing around asking why I wasn't invited. Don't be surprised if she tries to contact you all breezy sooner than you might think. Don't be available, be busy and unless she's thick as mince she'll take the hint eventually.

Hi yes I have. Best friends for years, since school. Shared a hobby together. They moved away and made new friends obviously. Followed each other on Facebook and texted different things and obviously re birthdays and Christmas. They went on same holiday every year at same time then around 7 years ago at their holiday time there's bit of a cryptic Facebook post "to those that know". Kind of guessed what it was but gutted to see the wedding pic next day. I still to this day don't know why I wasnt told. I wouldn't have flown out there but would have loved to send a card and present. Probably one of the most hurtful things someone has done to me tbh. No longer friends.

Don’t waste another second talking to her, or even thinking about her.

Block her, delete her, unfriend her, whatever you need to do to ensure you never see her again.

So did mine and they are twins.🙄

I would be tempted to have it out with the bride because some years down the line it will probably bug you that you didn't. No need to be confrontational but you could ask why you were the only one who wasn't invited and point out that it's hurtful behaviour. Then I would just leave the so-called friendship group. As it's someone you know well it is inexcusable.

Two things jump out here.

One is that when some women get married they start to believe their own hype - that they are a fabulous, amazing princess - so they can behave however they want. As long as they are having a good time they don’t give a stuff about anyone else. Also because they feel so secure about the future (as someone getting married should) they don’t bother hiding their true personalities anymore.

Two is that some people bitch about other people, who they brag and boast to and desperate want to like them, they spend all their fun and quality time with them (to show off, FOMO etc). Then they have other friends they use as free therapists but don’t want to spend any fun time with. They put then in the ‘not fun bit of life’ category and don’t want them to contaminate their ‘fun bit of life’ (or lift the lid amongst the people they want to impress their their life isn’t perfect).

Do either of these sound likely?

Thankfully most people have the bandwidth to be able to have fun with friends they confide!

If it were me I’d tell her you are too busy to meet up 1:1 but to let you know next time there is a fun night out with the girls in the pipeline! Or, just cut her off :-)

I expect there’s a strong possibility that a lot of what she slags them off about to you is untrue, or at the very least very much exaggerated because she enjoyed the drama and sympathy from you.

(Also possible, she’s told a load of lies / exaggerations about you to them) and she can’t risk two worlds colliding (especially where alcohol is present and the truth might out).

I’d text her saying ‘I notice you had a hen do on (date), have I done something to upset you only I can’t understand why I wasn’t invited’? Depending on her reply you can decide whether to continue the friendship or not.

Not surprising that you're hurt. I'd feel the same. Nothing much to add but here's a hug 🤗

100% this!

Yes it was even more awkward because the photographer was also downstairs for a while waiting for them to call him up. One of her friends even came downstairs for something and saw me on my own and said "are you ok here"? Then went straight back upstairs. It would have been much kinder if she hadn't invited me at all. Thankfully I am a lot older and wiser now and I have lowered my expectations of people. It's sad to have to do that but I feel better equipped to deal with people like that now.

The bride will full well know exactly who was and wasn’t invited.

So what will you do, op? Just disappear and not respond to her at all?

I hope you didn’t help her!

Why not? It would certainly be fun watching them ripping each other apart over SM

Apologies, I’d done exactly that.

After you first replied to me saying you were sure it was deliberate, I replied back and said that I agreed you shouldn't talk to them about it. I then subsequently replied to a different poster who was being left out of parties by a friend who says how much she loves her, saying she should talk to her. Maybe you thought that one was directed at you too? It wasn't; you were sure the behaviour of your bride-friend was deliberate, and in that case, I would not raise it with her. Wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

After the OP first said she was sure it was deliberate, I then agreed with her that she should not talk to them. I think you might have read my subsequent reply to a different poster who was talking about not being invited to parties.

Have you read the rest of the thread, @Horsie, or at least all of OP’s posts? She’s described a friend who gossips and criticises their mutual friends, and has not reciprocated OP’s support or loyalty. This seems to be the final straw, which allows OP to see that their values and approach to friendship are not compatible. And that’s fine. It’s healthy to realise that you’re incompatible and will only be hurt further if you return to the same dynamic.

That's absolutely awful.

It's so true about weddings. My wedding cost me a couple of friends too.