Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really hate the phrase "oh that's a wee shame" (apologies if this is so niche that you don't have it in your regional lexicon but, also, you're so lucky!)

32 replies

DervlaGlass · 19/09/2025 17:19

It's usually used in response to things that are actually bloody terrible news and it makes me feel overwhelmed with fury when people say it.

"Oh her child is in hospital"
"Oh that's a wee shame"
No it isn't????

But even when it is in response to something that is arguably both wee and a shame it makes my skin crawl.

Do you use this phrase and for what sort of things and aibu?

OP posts:
SardinesOnGingerbread · 19/09/2025 17:29

Someone said it after a really difficult incident happened, and even though it's my local lexicon, I felt so patronised and the size of the anguish diminished by their comment. It wasn't intended, but it was incredibly painful.

fallingandlaughing · 19/09/2025 17:29

You are being a bit literal.
It doesn't mean "that's a small shame".
It means "that's a shame and I'm expressing extra concern or sympathy".

Original poster
DervlaGlass · 19/09/2025 17:26

mumofoneAloneandwell · 19/09/2025 17:25

Yabu sorry 😭 I think you will have offended people as well

Well if I have what can I say other than that is a wee shame

OP posts:
Original poster
DervlaGlass · 19/09/2025 17:26

SeaGreenSeaGlass · 19/09/2025 17:25

It's one of those phrases that makes sense taken in it's entirety, not when it's taken apart.

There's no other version of this akin to "that's a wee shame / that's a bigger shame / that's a huge shame". It's just "that's a wee shame". Anything else would be like changing "kick the bucket" to "hit the bucket / really kick the bucket / kick the big bucket"... It just doesn't make sense, you use the full expression or don't use it all all.

(I don't use it myself but understand it. It's used here by people born around WWII or earlier. They're not going to change it).

I know but the shame is almost never wee!

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 19/09/2025 17:25

Yabu sorry 😭 I think you will have offended people as well

SeaGreenSeaGlass · 19/09/2025 17:25

It's one of those phrases that makes sense taken in it's entirety, not when it's taken apart.

There's no other version of this akin to "that's a wee shame / that's a bigger shame / that's a huge shame". It's just "that's a wee shame". Anything else would be like changing "kick the bucket" to "hit the bucket / really kick the bucket / kick the big bucket"... It just doesn't make sense, you use the full expression or don't use it all all.

(I don't use it myself but understand it. It's used here by people born around WWII or earlier. They're not going to change it).

Makemineacosmo · 19/09/2025 17:24

Seems a bit of an over reaction to be honest. It's just a phrase.

Lots of people I know use it because I'm in Scotland and I've never thought 'oh that makes my skin crawl'. Everyone has phrases they dislike.

Swipe left for the next trending thread