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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked at the number of people driving whilst on phones

42 replies

Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 16:25

DH & me recently took the coach to London. Being in a coach we were higher up and were shocked at the number of people with phones to their ears whilst driving. We started counting, then lost interest as there were so many.

We also saw people driving with their elbows while eating & drinking.

I have a friend who's son was killed as a result of someone driving into the back of them whilst on the phone.

Surely there's no excuse for it.

I have Bluetooth in my car so can talk to people whilst driving, but I don't unless it's a family call with a possible emergency in which case I will say 'hello <name> I'm driving ATM, is everything ok?' if it's not urgent, I will tell them that I will call them back. I wouldn't answer just for anyone, just family, just in case it's urgent.

So AIBU that more steps should be taken to make sure people aren't on their phones?

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suburburban · 19/09/2025 20:11

PegDope · 19/09/2025 16:31

I see it all the time. I commented on another thread about the number of cars that go through just gone red lights.

The quality of driving has tanked in recent years.

Yes and on wrong side of road speeding not giving a toss if there is on coming traffic

and those stupid learner Mopeds seem to be multiplying. Do they ever pass a test

JaceLancs · 19/09/2025 19:09

Mine is always on hands free and if I need directions I set maps up before I set off

LizzieSiddal · 19/09/2025 18:54

Many people also don’t realise that if you’re involved in a severe accident, the police WILL look at your phone history that day. If you’ve been constantly on the phone, even if it’s hands free, it will be considered that you were not driving with due care and attention.

Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 18:45

In my job I often have to call people. I work for a Govt Agency. They know when I'm going to call - they have at least 48 hour's notice.

The number of times I call & can hear that they're driving & will say 'Are you driving?' Them: 'Yes' Me: 'are you the one driving?' Them 'yes' Me: 'I will rebook this appointment as Policy is that we can't discuss what we were going to discuss while you're driving. I will book this appointment for a face to face appointment. Goodbye'

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TartanTwit · 19/09/2025 18:30

Worth reiterating that cameras can (and did with me) detect phone use so just because there's not a police car nearby doesn't mean you're safe from getting caught.

landlordhell · 19/09/2025 18:18

TheNightingalesStarling · 19/09/2025 16:39

Its six points if you get caught. And people do get caught. Anyone can submit camera footage of it.

Not if you’re driving which is most of the time that I see it.

ohtowinthelottery · 19/09/2025 17:51

I think touch screen controls in case are just as bad. I'm often telling DH off for faffing about with the radio/heating controls on the touch screen panel. When I changed my car I deliberately shunned the ones that had fancy touchscreen controls for everything in favour of knobs for heating/fan controls.
My phone is always in my bag when driving. I can answer calls from the steering wheel but prefer to decline them. I never connect up to get whatsapp messages.

Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:45

Maverickess · 19/09/2025 17:32

My car is old so doesn't have Bluetooth or any hand free devices like that, but I don't touch it when I'm driving, it's usually in my bag or coat pocket in the back or passenger foot well. I don't have sat nav or anything like that and if I need to check a route, I pull over and turn the engine off and look then.
If people call me, tough, you can wait, I have found some people do get irate, because no one seems to be able to wait 5 minutes for anything and moan about the call or message not being answered, when I explain I was driving it's met with "So?"
So I don't have hands free, don't want hands free and don't answer my phone while driving for your convenience. Leave a message, I'll call you back.

It needs to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving has, or smoking.

Oh cripes you've given me a subject for another AIBU - mobile phones. DH & me went to a lovely concert last night. In the interval just about everyone was checking their phones. Watch this space....

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Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:42

Echobelly · 19/09/2025 17:22

I don't understand how people can do it - I feel like i'm hideously distracted if I so much as turn the radio volume up while driving!

I agree. I was very aware, when driving with 3 DCs in the back that I would sometimes be distracted by them squabbling, wanting something, generally being a pain in the arse. But, the point is, that I was aware that I could be distracted and drove accordingly. I was very strict about not distracting mummy. I would pull the car over to sort them out. I would also have tapes (remember them?) with songs that we would sing together to keep them entertained. DS2 says it's all my fault that he's into rap as I used to get them to rap in the car: 'I see a cow and I'm wondering how....pick it up kids...'

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Noseyoldcow · 19/09/2025 17:34

OhMyGiddyAnt · 19/09/2025 17:15

The thing I don’t understand is why people don’t get a phone holder and use handfree. It’s so cheap and easy. If I wanted to Siri would read out messages and send messages for me. I’ve no reason to ever touch my phone.

I think it would be good to promote areas where you can pull in and make calls. (Otherwise known as a layby). Sometimes I could do with somewhere to pull over so that I can sort out my navigation.

I have a voice controlled sat nav and hands free in my car. But both require you to take your eyes/attention off the road, even if only for a moment. I pull over somewhere safe in order to set the sat nav or to make a call, and I only answer a call if it is safe to do so, otherwise I ignore the phone and call back when I’m parked up.
I am a rarity. I’ve even seen someone doing 70 in the fast lane on the motorway texting on the phone. Idiot.

Maverickess · 19/09/2025 17:32

My car is old so doesn't have Bluetooth or any hand free devices like that, but I don't touch it when I'm driving, it's usually in my bag or coat pocket in the back or passenger foot well. I don't have sat nav or anything like that and if I need to check a route, I pull over and turn the engine off and look then.
If people call me, tough, you can wait, I have found some people do get irate, because no one seems to be able to wait 5 minutes for anything and moan about the call or message not being answered, when I explain I was driving it's met with "So?"
So I don't have hands free, don't want hands free and don't answer my phone while driving for your convenience. Leave a message, I'll call you back.

It needs to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving has, or smoking.

JohnofWessex · 19/09/2025 17:27

The obvious point about 'no seat belt' is that about half the fatalities who were not wearing a seat belt were offending at the time so either

  1. Haul them out of their vehicles on the spot for a good going over or.......
  2. Whats the problem?
Keepingittogetherstepbystep · 19/09/2025 17:26

There's no bluetooth in my car as it's ancient but I still won't use my phone in the car for anything.

It's not worth it. Maybe my college friends being involved in a fatal accident before I passed my test has left an impression.

Nodesire4aNegroni · 19/09/2025 17:24

The Government is rolling out AI cameras that catch drivers for speeding, phone usage, no seat belt. Automatic fined & points on license.

JohnofWessex · 19/09/2025 17:23

I suggest that if you are caught 'red handed' then its an on the spot ban ditto failing a drink or drugs test.

Its what they do in Victoria (Australia) for drink drivers

Dont get your licence back until you have paid all motoring fines, done the Naughty Driver course - and passed it

Then I suggest an interview with a probation officer to assess the risk of reoffending and an extended test

Echobelly · 19/09/2025 17:22

I don't understand how people can do it - I feel like i'm hideously distracted if I so much as turn the radio volume up while driving!

Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:20

Yes they usually do because safe drivers are aware of the idiots and slow down. I always told my dds when they were learning to drive that they should assume everyone else on the roads is an incompetent idiot. It’s certainly served me well for 35 years.

Me too - LizzieSiddal Though I won't get into the car if driven by my oldest DS. He lives in LA (previously lived in Chiswick) and, frankly, drives like a maniac - all speeding & sudden braking, running lights etc. I've told him that it's up to him to kill himself if he choses, but I will never forgive him if he kills or injures one of my GC (his DCs) or anyone else. I was seriously injured when a passenger in a car accident when he was about 12-13 years old. Someone came around the corner on the wrong side of the road & it was a head-on collision at about 40mph. I sustained life-changing injuries and was in hospital for 8 months. I've had several operations since. He should know better than most what cars can do to people.

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MikeRafone · 19/09/2025 17:18

These drives are in incredible, they kill others in their wake but never get banned from driving for life and rarely spend more than 5 years behind bars - so clearly it’s not that bad a crime

Rainbow1901 · 19/09/2025 17:17

DH got done for taking his phone out his top pocket of his shirt and dropping it into his hands free unit in his van. He was stationery at traffic lights next to an unmarked police car.
He got points and had to do a speed awareness course!!

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 19/09/2025 17:16

PegDope · 19/09/2025 16:31

I see it all the time. I commented on another thread about the number of cars that go through just gone red lights.

The quality of driving has tanked in recent years.

Agree with this, it’s ridiculous these days. I wonder if it’s partly to do with modern cars being a bit nippier, and/or the increase in 20 mph zones, giving people the confidence that they can get away with it. (Not complaining about the zones/improvement in cars, just wonder if it is a factor).

OhMyGiddyAnt · 19/09/2025 17:15

The thing I don’t understand is why people don’t get a phone holder and use handfree. It’s so cheap and easy. If I wanted to Siri would read out messages and send messages for me. I’ve no reason to ever touch my phone.

I think it would be good to promote areas where you can pull in and make calls. (Otherwise known as a layby). Sometimes I could do with somewhere to pull over so that I can sort out my navigation.

landlordhell · 19/09/2025 17:12

When I teach primary aged chn about safety and risk this topic often comes up. So many chn look shocked when I tell them it is illegal to use your phone while driving. They openly say their parents do it.

Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:08

One of my friends has literally just posted a photo on Facebook of a selfie with her 8 year old nephew in the front seat next to her. You can clearly see in the surroundings and the reflection in her glasses that she did it whilst she’s driving. She does it all the time. I just don’t know what goes through people’s minds. I would report it if I thought anything would actually be done, but I’m not sure the police would take a Facebook selfie as proof

OMG Spanador That makes my blood run cold. 8 year old in front passenger seat (the most dangerous place in a car) presumably without a booster seat AND THEN SHE'S POSTING A PHOTO WHILST DRIVING?!!!! 😱There is no way on Earth I'd allow her to drive with my children again. 😡

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LlynTegid · 19/09/2025 17:07

I'm not surprised, as people are not caught often enough. The penalty should be a driving ban, say for a year, and people able to submit video evidence of others (if a passenger) that would be enough for a conviction.

Taking away the phone and phone number could be another option, however it would not mean someone without a phone.

Original poster
Ilovepastafortea · 19/09/2025 17:04

Treesarenotforeating · 19/09/2025 16:33

@PegDope i agree , there not even amber gamblers , it’s blatantly red and they just sail through, I sit there and wait for the smash but they always get away with it

I live close to a Mway junction. In order to get into town (well, anywhere really) I have to negotiate this junction. So many times people jump the lights, so I've learned to wait until I'm sure that no-one is going to do that & then I get hooted from cars behind as soon as my light goes to amber, obviously I ignore them, giving them a mental finger 😉. Then there are the people go into the <clear> outside lane & then decide that they're in the wrong lane & move across 3 lanes without indicating to get to the one that they want. I've had so many near misses as a result of being cut off & feel safer now that DH has now fitted cameras to my car. I do think that people see an old lady (me!) driving my Mini & think that they need to get ahead of me as I may slow them down. TBH I may do, but at least they will get to where they want to get in one piece.

I'm also concerned about the electric bikes that move at such a speed, are so heavy and often ridden by idiots who have no concern for pedestrians or other road/pavement users.

Oh I'm on my Bandwagon now - what about adults on scooters (motorised or other) and skateboards whizzing around on roads and pavements?

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