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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A bit like the Shark Vacuum Thread but life in general.

61 replies

chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 13:44

I seem to spend my life these days chasing things with companies or wondering what the fuck now. It’s like everything you do/touch/buy falls apart or ends up causing endless problems.

Am I being too sensitive and therefore unreasonable? Is this normal? I’m currently on HRT and I don’t know if things have shifted with me.

Is this a reasonable amount of challenge or have things changed for the worst? Or maybe it’s just bad luck?

My examples:
I’ve been fighting since April with Fenwicks and Whistles for a refund on a dress. Worn once, fell apart on the night out.
Etsy order from UK seller turns out to be coming from China. Month overdue, no sign of a refund. Messages ignored.
Handbag I bought was posted weeks later and will cost me money to return.
I am in an endless spiral with my utility billing. They just keep increasing the DD but my spend remains unchanged.
No local pharmacy has my HRT, I run out on Monday…
Washing machine threw a fit, stopped working two weeks after JL installed it. Getting them to have someone look at it has been a total grind. The big washing machines at the petrol station are cool though.
BUPA claim was billed wrongly by the hospital in July. Nobody at the hospital seems to know how to fix it with BUPA. Nobody replies to emails or answers the phones. So it’s showing as an overdue bill with me. At this rate the poor lad at BUPA will be on our Christmas card list. He phones me more than my husband.

I could write these out all day. I seem to have a permanent list that never really gets shorter.

Is this just life now? Do we all have a list like this? I don’t lead an exciting life, I do have kids who take up most of my time and I would just like something/anything to work and stay working 🤣

FYI my shark hoover is bloody rubbish.

(This is lighthearted, I know there is so much going on in the fairly horrible world at the moment. I just need a whinge about the list of little stuff as I block out the big stuff of care homes and elderly parents)

YABU - Welcome to Middle Age
YANBU - Nope, we’re all going slowly down the drain too.

OP posts:
Original poster
chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 14:20

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:18

Have you lost a lot of weight?

my niece is a shop assistant in a clothing shop and she said that amount of people trying to return pre weight loss injection purchases is unreal!

Show quote history

I’ve lost two stone in the past year, but it’s not related.

However the seam has gone and I was fully arse out on first wear. Not caused by the size of my arse but the seam had been really poorly stitched 😂

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:18

chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 14:16

Receipt and screen shot of card transaction.

Show quote history

Have you lost a lot of weight?

my niece is a shop assistant in a clothing shop and she said that amount of people trying to return pre weight loss injection purchases is unreal!

Original poster
chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 14:16

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:15

You presumably have the receipt for the dress

the only time I have had an issue is when I didn’t have the receipt

Receipt and screen shot of card transaction.

OP posts:
Original poster
chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 14:16

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:06

Very odd.

I have found department stores and chains pretty much bend over backwards to resolve in my favour just to close the matter swiftly and not incur time and admin waste

Show quote history

It’s super odd. It’s not even difficult.

Fault developed, here’s the receipt, have your money back thank you.

I suspect it’s a fault of dealing with people on both sides who aren’t that well trained or new. Which again plays into, no investment in customer services just corner cutting.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:15

You presumably have the receipt for the dress

the only time I have had an issue is when I didn’t have the receipt

Scrabsqueak · 19/09/2025 14:09

OMG, thank you so much for this. I seem to be firefighting stupid things on so many fronts now that I am exhausted. All things that should take minutes take hours and so much stress! While I would not wish it on anyone, am glad I’m not alone!

Original poster
chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 14:06

snowdrop2011 · 19/09/2025 13:55

I have a list like this too. I hate it because they aren’t ’tick off’ items that get done in one go. They are endless back and forths. Customer service everywhere is non existent. I also blame the modern excess of choice thing. Late stage capitalism is not a happy place. Technology and internet has made things much more complicated (esp cybersecurity!!!). I can’t see it getting better. AI I think will make things a lot worse in the short term as we all fail to fail to realise that the most convenient option leads to a lot of complexity later down the line.

I think this is very true. The days of any meaningful human interaction are long gone.
When ‘computer says no’ kicks in, even human interference can’t resolve things.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 14:06

chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 13:54

Same. Pre 8am with a cuppa. But it’s never just a call or an email. Every aspect seems to be a delay or a deflection. Chatbots, emails, no phone numbers.
It took two months for Fenwicks to tell me to speak to Whistles directly. Then they wouldn’t deal with me as I had bought in store and didn’t have an order number. I still have no outcome from something I started in March.

Show quote history

Very odd.

I have found department stores and chains pretty much bend over backwards to resolve in my favour just to close the matter swiftly and not incur time and admin waste

snowdrop2011 · 19/09/2025 13:55

I have a list like this too. I hate it because they aren’t ’tick off’ items that get done in one go. They are endless back and forths. Customer service everywhere is non existent. I also blame the modern excess of choice thing. Late stage capitalism is not a happy place. Technology and internet has made things much more complicated (esp cybersecurity!!!). I can’t see it getting better. AI I think will make things a lot worse in the short term as we all fail to fail to realise that the most convenient option leads to a lot of complexity later down the line.

Original poster
chipsticksmammy · 19/09/2025 13:54

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 13:49

I like to get in to work a little early and blast my way through stuff like this. I find it quite satisfying

Same. Pre 8am with a cuppa. But it’s never just a call or an email. Every aspect seems to be a delay or a deflection. Chatbots, emails, no phone numbers.
It took two months for Fenwicks to tell me to speak to Whistles directly. Then they wouldn’t deal with me as I had bought in store and didn’t have an order number. I still have no outcome from something I started in March.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 13:49

I like to get in to work a little early and blast my way through stuff like this. I find it quite satisfying