Brief Encounter- the film

I'm not saying it’s a bad film, it’s beautifully shot, it was doing something groundbreaking for its time, and of course it has its place in cinema history. But when people wax lyrical about it as if it’s the height of romance, that’s where I think a bit of realism needs to creep in.

If a friend or family member told us they were having an emotional affair behind their partner’s back, most of us wouldn’t be clapping them on the back and saying how moving and noble it all was. We’d recognise it as painful, messy, and ultimately hurtful to the people being lied to. That’s real life, and I don’t think it’s wrong to hold the story up against that lens.

What makes me uneasy is how some people use Brief Encounter almost as a shield, there’s a poster on another board who describes his own emotional affair, compares it to the film, and seems to convince himself it’s something pure and untouchable rather than what it really is: crossing boundaries and betraying trust. The film might make it look poignant, but that doesn’t mean the behaviour itself is beyond criticism.

So yes, great cinema, powerful performances, definitely a classic. But let’s not pretend it’s a model of romance we’d celebrate in the real world. And I question anyone who thinks it is so beautiful

Snap! I thought I was the only one!

Running off with Dolly. Brilliant 🤣

An absolute classic, the music, the atmosphere, the character’s turmoil, the illustration of the constraints of society especially for women and directed by probably one of the best ever film directors- David Lean

Leaves me cold. I really don’t ‘feel’ them getting attached, let alone falling in love!
I’m a few yrs into state pension age group! so poss could be expected to be of an age that might ‘enjoy’? or appreciate?

I really like it is really melodramatic which i love each to their own though your husband loving it is sweet.

As an aside A wonderful life leaves me cold ! Dh says i have no heart.

It is a beautiful film, very much of its time and I love the quiet restraint and dignity the film portrays. I fear if you can only see this wonderful classic as "boring", then you have no soul and there is little hope for you Op. I would definitely be advising your DH to LTB.

Also love the much missed Victoria Wood's version.

Indeed. From someone who clearly has no understanding of the social norms and constraints of the time.

A depressingly crude, insensitive and reductive interpretation.

The long winter nights must fly by in your house 😒

I love it - the genius of Noel Coward in the mix of comedy and tragedy, the exasperated cafe worker who expostulates 'Them buns was fresh this morning'!

Filmed in 1945 and has that feel that emotions are just worn out.

If you explore his other wonderful wonderful plays like Private Lives (watched it recently on youtube), you might enjoy them more. Usually he is lighter - this is a rare sad gem. I find the little touches throughout it so enchanting. It is subtle and light. Yes of it's time- but that's OK!

I don't think it does paint it as something glorious. I feel a distinctly disapproving tone and I don't there was any question of any other ending.

Amazing film. How many would make the same choices now?

YAB thoroughly unreasonable. Worth it for the music alone.

I really love the restraint in it.
Its of its time, but also more reminiscent of real life.

It reminds me of the bit in love actually where the affair is discovered, where emma Thompson has a private little cry, straightens out the sheets and goes back to her family. Its far more emotional then the actual confrontation about it which remains restrained and dignified, but especially more so than the more soap opera style big arguments or declarations of love.

When i think of my two biggest moments of love and heart break it's mostly quiet. Most relationships start with gentle signs, that thrill of sitting a bit close, a glance too long etc rather than a big old kiss. It also means that some of the breakups I can remember weren't break ups at all but the lack of progression of a spark that never amounted into a relationship.

My two biggest break ups, ended with quiet sadness. One of us simply saying see you soon in a high street while knowing we would not, the other in a carpark as they left the car.

I identify that a lot more than the drama of crying fits, bare all emotional shouting, arguing or big declarations that seem to be common in tv and film but not real life.

What an emotionally stunted person you are.

For god's sake why are people so utterly binary nowadays, so utterly certain of their moral rightness? EMOTIONAL AFFAIR - BAD PEOPLE!

It's a great bit of cinema. Why can't it just be taken as that? It's not coming out on any "side"? It's just telling the tale of two people who fell in love, and decided on balance that they couldn't be together after wading through a moral quagmire. It presents that beautifully (despite the accents). Divorce and splitting up was perceived very differently among the middle classes in the 1940s. "Disgrace" was a very real thing. But surely we can relate to that feeling if your heart being torn out of your body and the utter grief it leaves you with?

(lucky you if you are or have been happily married and have never known this feeling either before, during or after your marriage)

I love it, the part where Laura’s monologue in her head about “one day none of this will matter” really gets me through bad times and her lovely husband acknowledging her absence but just embracing her return is beautiful.

You are being VU. It is a great film. That theme of love which cannot be and the background of social class in the 1930s makes for a classic. Add into that the comic interludes and the music and you have my all time favourite film.

Not a fan of the film but it was filmed at Carnforth station. As a child I used to stay with my grandmother during the summer. She would take us for days out and Carnforth was the station we always had to change at. I remember having tea in the cafe. It would have been in the late 60s/early 70s and still looked like it did during the film.
So when I watch the film it takes me back to my childhood.

I love Brief Encounter and seem to find new angles every time I watch it.
@BMW6 my grandparents had a cook, housemaid and laundrymaid, although none were live in.

For those that love Brief Encounter, watch Falling in Love with Streep and De Niro.

I love Brief Encounter!

I also love the Victoria Wood spoof of it- maybe you’ll like this better, OP?

I absolutely ADORE it and gave watched it so many times

I particularly like the ending when you can see that Fred has seen her distress and has figured out pretty much what's happened, but his only concern is for HER and if there's anything he can do to help (sob)......

I assume its set just before WW2 - how navy "ordinary middle aged housewives" had maids - and in a uniform with cap to boot!?

I'm knocking 70 and certainly didn't hear of any of my schoolmates having maids - although the Boots being a lending library does seem familiar to me.

I'm torn about Brief Encounter. I believe we're all supposed to be impressed by the main characters doing the 'right thing' in the end rather than destroying families etc. On the other hand my own experience makes me feel that parents who stay together for that reason when it's not necessarily what they really want are not happy and that transfers to family life. Obviously divorce wasn't socially acceptable then, breaking up the family would have been completely scandalous. But I think there was a risk of maybe eight people ending up unhappy (two families, can't remember the details of how many children in each) in the long term. I realise it's a niche, personal view but I don't quite approve of that level of self-sacrifice and martyrdom because I believe it comes with consequences.