Help, I’m pregnant and don’t want to be

As already mentioned you don’t need to see or tell your GP, they’ll just refer you on to another service anyway. Ring BPAS or MSI and get an appointment, you can even do telemeds and have the pills sent to you at home if everything is straightforward. At this gestation a medical abortion with pills is safer and the preferred method, but you can request a surgical procedure if you want. Just know that sometimes it takes a bit longer to get a surgical appointment.

You are NOT a failure.

Contraception fails, it's not 100%.

You need to speak to your GP or sexual health and make a decision. Abortion isn't right for everyone but in your situation I would be doing it.

PP have shared their experiences and it's doesn't sound bad but time really is of the essence.

Make your decision and continue with your life plan.

We're here for virtual hugs 🤗

You would get universal credit so if you do want to have a child later on you can apply for that and also help with nursery if you wanted to go back to work also.

You are very young. My second child was had in my 40s. Completely natural and healthy.

Phone BPAS get a telephone consultation.
Go into the hospital get two pills. Take them. Have a heavy period. Carry on with life.

I had mine at 9 weeks gestation and it was so easy. I didn't feel any guilt. It was not the right time.

I went on to have a child a couple of years later.

Please don't worry, this is completely routine.

Not selfish AT ALlL. You'd be more selfish to have a child whom you don't want and can't afford.

You’re a grown adult, if you don’t want to or can’t have the baby (I agree, you’re not independent enough to have one at the moment) then abortion is the best option. There’s nothing wrong with abortion so don’t let anyone let you think there is. I would also get on contraception.

On another note, at 26, I think you need to take a step back and think about what you want from life. Travelling is great if you have money or the means to do it, but you’re living with your parents in a low wage job, on the cusp of your 30s. I think you’d be better off earning and saving with the odd weekend away. You mention settling down after travelling but you need to be independent. Thinking about how you’re going to sustain yourself. Waiting for a man to come along and change your life isn’t realistic or healthy. It’s mid-20s when you need to start thinking long term, with maturity, about how you’ll give yourself freedom and the financial means to sustain yourself and potentially a family in the future. It’s time to “grow up” as I would tell my own kids.

Contact sexual health - they will counsel you and help you make the decision that’s best for you. They will also be able to arrange an abortion for you - no one needs know who you don’t want to know

These things happen & it’s very easily sorted.

Ring your GP and they can pass on a phone number etc so you can book in for a termination.

No need to tell the Father if you don’t want to.

It’s such a simple procedure of taking a couple of tablets and waiting. It will all be over before you know it and you can carry on with your travelling plans x

Oh I get just wanting a hug from your mum and for everything to be okay. Perhaps in the meantime we can be your distant stand-in mums, and then when you are ready, you have a chat with her.

In your own time.

This is how mine was, it was completely non traumatic and took 5 mins. I then sat for half an hour to check the anaesthetic had worn off before leaving.

I fell pregnant at a similar age to you, in a good job with own flat etc and I still didn't want to be a parent. I didn't tell anyone bar the GP to make the arrangements, and haven't had a moment's regret or doubt since (18 years ago now).

So if I were you, I would head to the GP or similar and get the wheels in motion, much like you would for any other medical issue.

I echo everyone’s advice around contacting BPAS or Marie Stopes. Depending on how far along you are, you may just be able to have the pill option, which is two pills a certain length of time apart.

I just wanted to reassure you that this isn’t something that will necessarily define your whole life or something that you will regret/ feel guilty about forever. I had one in my 20s (also didn’t tell my parents) and I’ve never for a second regretted it. I have of course thought about it on occasion, but if anything just in way of realising it was definitely the best decision.

Also, I found it no more painful than a heavy period. Not the case for everyone I’m sure but just to again reassure you because that’s the bit I was really nervous about.

OP, you sound in a dark place right now. I see some other posters have talked about responsibility etc, but contraception fails some times. That is the long and the short of it, so go easy on yourself.

You don't have to tell the father no. Ultimately the choice is yours and if you do not want this pregnancy telling him might just put more pressure on you.

You do not have to tell your mother either, if you think she will try to sway your decision.

Please do as you planned, go and travel and see some of the world. I am probably your mothers age, and my dd is off travelling now and a pregnancy would devastate her I just know. So I do understand where you are.

Yes I second what other people have said - contact BPAS or google the service closest to you - don’t even bother with your GP, it will just waste time.

You know what you want, it’s very early stages and this is the best time to deal with it. It’s none of your Mum’s business and she doesn’t need to know.

You can have a surgical abortion without being put to sleep if that’s what you want. It isn’t really painful.

BPAS, etc will go through the options available to you and you can then decide which is easiest for you in your situation.

Best wishes to you and don’t worry - you don’t need to feel guilty about it, it’s not a big deal and it happens to loads of people (they just don’t tell you!)

What an amazing , empathetic post. Your daughters are lucky to have you ♥️

Honestly, it’s the quickest and easiest way and the least traumatic in my experience to be put to sleep (it can be sedation not always full GA) and it’s not a long procedure.

I would lean on your best friend for support and get into contact with either your GP or local family planning services. Please don’t beat yourself up, it would be unfair to everyone involved if you made a decision based on what others wanted and not you. It’s your body and your life , you make the decisions right now. It sounds like you are very sure of what you want out of your life right now and that’s a massive positive! You will get through this, just take it a step a time and please make sure you do have your friend there for support so you aren’t alone through this xx

Hi Honey… big hugs. Maybe make an appointment at the local sexual health clinic if you are not comfortable discussing it with your GP. I’m sorry you can’t discuss it with your parents. I would want to be there for my daughters if they went though this. I have been there myself and while it’s not a great experience, I can honestly tell you that it’s not as bad as you may think and the physical and emotional recovery afterwards doesn’t have to be the big drama you see on tv. I don’t regret mine. I have never for one second regretted it. I now have three adult kids and I love them dearly. I have never felt a moment’s guilt for choosing not to carry a baby I wasn’t physically, financially or emotionally prepared for. I hope you have a friend or relative that you trust to support you and respect your decision and privacy. I hope this helps you.

Just Google your local service and give them a call, at this very early stage it's just like an exaggerated period. Learn from it as you don't want to be travelling then find yourself in the same situation but stuck somewhere you can't do anything about it.

Don't beat yourself up OP, every woman should have the right to choose. I personally wouldn't tell the father as it could just add stress to the situation, some people won't agree with that but you just have to make your own mind up.