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Original poster

Is it as easy as mindset?

89 replies

autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 06:12

I was talking to a friend earlier this week and we got onto the conversation of mind set. My friend is rarely ill and will keep going with a cold etc. if something puts her to bed it has to be ‘really bad’
I don’t get ill much these days (but did when kids were little) I often find a cold will stop me at least for a couple of days. So if I can I’m in bed due to pounding headache, painful sinuses, fatigue/dizziness . I also suffer with back pain, migraine and tbh menopause.
is it as simple as mindset or do some people feel worse than others/get worse symptoms?
I grew up in this culture of people who struggle more with pain/illness are weak so I aways feel guilty if I’m ill.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 08:13

Op… are you still being threatened with the sack for time off?

Whenthetimeisright · 19/09/2025 07:37

autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 07:19

it feels like there is this pressure especially for women to keep going. There’s the stereotype of man flu where men will go to bed when ill. But who’s the fool there? The man who feels ill so rests or the woman who keeps going despite feeling shocking? (Obviously sometimes there’s no choice when you have kids or can’t afford to take the time off work. )

My late H never ever took time off work. No matter how bad a cold or how poorly he felt he went in. And my son is like his Dad - he can and does work through a cold despite feeling rotten. So I've never experienced this " man flu " in my family life.

I, on the other hand, get knocked for six by a cold. It's mainly the overwhelming need to sleep and the tired eyes that means I generally have to take to my bed for a couple of days. And if I don't take care of myself it develops into chest infections. When I was younger the wracking coughs I ended up with were horrendous and frightening.

I've always felt really guilty about this. I do wonder if the pp who suggested the effect of stress on the immune system might be true though. My life is defined by stress.

5128gap · 19/09/2025 07:27

Its a bit of both. People are often able to rally for things that motivate them and they don't want to miss, but not for the humdrum less pleasant things. So I think attitudes can vary depending on how positive you are about life in general. That said there are variations in base line health between people that mean someone feels worse with a similar condition. I think as we get older the key is to do all we can to raise the baseline. Eat well, excercise, enough rest, manage weight, to give ourselves the best fighting chance.

Original poster
autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 07:19

it feels like there is this pressure especially for women to keep going. There’s the stereotype of man flu where men will go to bed when ill. But who’s the fool there? The man who feels ill so rests or the woman who keeps going despite feeling shocking? (Obviously sometimes there’s no choice when you have kids or can’t afford to take the time off work. )

OP posts:
Original poster
autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 07:19

it feels like there is this pressure especially for women to keep going. There’s the stereotype of man flu where men will go to bed when ill. But who’s the fool there? The man who feels ill so rests or the woman who keeps going despite feeling shocking? (Obviously sometimes there’s no choice when you have kids or can’t afford to take the time off work. )

OP posts:
Angryfrommanchester1 · 19/09/2025 06:43

For a cold, yes I think it’s possible to keep going whilst feeling ill, so maybe it is more mindset. Personally, I keep up with the painkillers / fluids and lemsips for the symptoms. It would have to be something severe for me to need to stay in bed.

Tinkerbellflowers · 19/09/2025 06:37

I think being stressed has a massive impact on the body and lowers the immune system. So maybe more relaxed laid back people are less likely to suffer with colds etc 🤷‍♀️

RhaenysRocks · 19/09/2025 06:33

I would imagine it's a bit of both. I'm v.v rarely ill and have maybe had two days off work in the last decade for anything that was illness related rather than child related. I'm also v "resilient" and tend to crack on and deal with whatever turns up. I don't panic or lie awake worrying about stuff I can't control. When disaster strikes I sort it out in a step by step way. It's just who I am. I don't think I'm better than other people who maybe struggle a bit more but I do think some things are a choice.
I teach teens and the level.of drama we get now about tiny, minor things that require a visit to the counsellor, a private chat, parental involvement and lengthy meetings. A lot of people do seem in general less able to cope with normal life and setbacks now.

Original poster
autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 06:28

I do try to have a positive mindset generally but things do put me to bed sometimes. Whereas friend says she just keeps going and it’s all in the head.

OP posts:
Original poster
autienotnaughty · 19/09/2025 06:26

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 06:13

How old is your friend out of interest?

We are both 49.

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 06:22

CottageGoblin · 19/09/2025 06:14

No. It’s not as simple as mindset.

That’s just a thing people say.

Often to people who tend to moan to them a lot about every sniffle and sneeze

CottageGoblin · 19/09/2025 06:14

No. It’s not as simple as mindset.

That’s just a thing people say.

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 06:14

Mindset definitely plays a part when we are talking about colds etc

not migraines!!

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 06:13

How old is your friend out of interest?

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