Husbands chastity cage

OP I know you are fed up with the comments on here from those who think you are making this scenario up, so you may not be back. But just in case you do come back to check on the comments, I just wanted to say that I (in common with most on this thread) absolutely believe you. Also, I can tell you, in solidarity, that I once named my husband's job quite casually in a post on here and someone came on to comment and with 100% categorical conviction said I must be lying about everything because "that job doesn't exist"! WTF... my DH had only been doing the job (and getting quite well paid for it) for 40 years... And I wasn't lying about the rest, either. Some people on here (a minority) are batsh*t.

Are you sure it's mot a larson trip for trapping magpies ?
Take a photo of it.
I'd put it on the table ready for dinner and say 'do u care to explain this please'

I would have thought this kind of device would be more likely used with someone else (online or in person) rather than solo though? If I found one in my partner's drawer I'd wonder who he'd been using it with. Also it's a pretty niche thing so not that surprising for it to be a shock to find it, it's understandable to want to discuss that on an anonymous forum. Of course discovering something pretty big and surprising about your partner after knowing and living with them for years is going to be a shock, especially if it suggests they might have been cheating.

It's anonymous, the OP's partner isn't going to read it.

Got me listening to

This comment made me laugh out loud 🤣

Agreed.
No wonder some men are so secretive about their fantasies, if this is how people respond!

If it’s not your cup of tea, fair enough. It doesn’t mean he deserves to be called a “deviant”. I'm not particularly excited by chastity play, but I’d never shame somebody who was.

I agree , the dead marriage is the most important aspect
I would sit him down and ask him what is it for and if he gets turned on with it then you put it on him and lock him up so at least then you know he cannot play around and you keep the key

Talking of Deep Heat.

When DH was still playing rugby he sustained a muscle strain at the top of his thigh. Not thinking he sprayed Deep Heat on it. He was soon running around the house with his boxers around his ankles shouting 'My bollocks are on fire! It's not funny - stop laughing!' I'd recently given birth to our DD & was having to sit on a rubber ring due to stiches in my perineum, so yes, compared with that it was hilarious. 😂😂

'Shame him all you want love, your husband sounds like a deviant and deserves to be shamed IMO, anyone but she shocked to find that!'

It's a cock cage. Folk need to calm down. The problem here is the dead marriage not what sex toys either are using.

Shame him all you want love, your husband sounds like a deviant and deserves to be shamed IMO, anyone but she shocked to find that!

OP, I wasn’t suggesting you were trying to shame him, I was referring to other posters who were inferring it was something he should be ashamed of.

To be fair I know more women who have come out whilst married as gay than men

Or they're confused as to why the OP can't simply post a photo of it?

I have been educated as I didn't know about such things.

Indeed. What if she found a vibe would some posters excitedly announce 'he is gay!'

Sexual activity does not always start and end with missionary with the lights out.

Gosh, I feel that I've had a sheltered life. I've never come across one of those before and probably would have burst out laughing if I did. Some of them look quite alarming.

'Also, we shouldn’t really be judging people based on their kinks, in 2025'

Exactly. The op should be asking how to split and move forward as their marriage is dead.

Whatever sex toys anyone uses in a situation like this is irrelevant.

You seem to know OP’s thoughts better than she does.

Also, it doesn’t mean he’s gay.

Some straight men are in to chastity play.

Also, we shouldn’t really be judging people based on their kinks, in 2025. As long as it’s not illegal (obviously), let people do what they want, in the privacy of their bedroom.

Maybe he’s using it for solo pleasure. Some men do like chastity cages, for solo play. It’s sort of denial of pleasure. If that makes sense? Could be something he’s in to that he hasn’t discussed with you, because he’s embarrassed? Don’t always jump to the worst case scenario.

Just ask him. I know I’d ask my DP, but we’re pretty open about toys/fantasies etc.

Op, you tell your small dc not to go snooping in wardrobes so they won't find private items. Everyone is entitled to privacy.

I know this is unpleasant but what if he found a sex toy in your wardrobe? You'd probably tell him to myob.

Yes he's obviously into bdsm, as your marriage is over does it matter if it's this or a porn stash?

You haven't been intimate for years, you sleep separately. Use this find as motivation to split and move on. Good luck .

It's not something blokes would talk about with each other in that context! It's very deeply linked to sexual submissiveness and in some contexts feminisation as well. I don't imagine that many of them have told a single IRL person (including, as in this case, their partners). Doesn't mean they're not doing it but they're certainly not joking about it unless it's an insult to another bloke, ime

And me 😂

I'd be so tempted to go with the Tiger Balm/ DeepHeat suggestion of a PP 😂

Imo, its bit too hard-core and niche (and probably too expensive) to be a 'joke' gift. Not something that is common in solo play either, it's a sub/dom thing, locking yourself up when you have the key doesn't have quite the same vibe. It suggests he is (or has) been having some kind of sexual relationship with another person.