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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not have the decorator back?

87 replies

SENsupportplease · 18/09/2025 18:26

We just had a new bathroom fitted at what was (to us) a lot of money. Only thing not included was painting of the inside door, frame, and ceiling, we used someone our neighbour recommended.

I wasn't there when it was finished.

Next day in daylight and when it had dried, I was gutted. Paint splatters everywhere (including gloss and some anti mould paint), broken grout between the floor tile where apparently he dropped the paint can, and the cutting in is terrible.

He also didn't sand down the door or frame first / very well, and he got a bit of paint on the carpet on the landing.

I've tried to clean off the paint with some success but not been able to get it off everywhere. The bathroom fitters kindly came back and redid the grout for me, and said that using anything more abrasive on the bathroom furniture risks taking the coating off - so at a loss as to how to remove the paint.

I've sent him pictures of the cutting in and he has offered to come back to correct, but i'm scared him causing more damage.

I do not want this decorator back.

I do however want to correct the cutting in, and have been quoted £90 plus paint to do so (cleaning the ceiling edges, re-cutting in, and blending in to the rest of the ceiling). I think it's reasonable that he refunds me this cost and would like to request it.

The decorator who quoted me today also tried to get the paint off and said she was stumped.

So, AIBU for not wanting him back? Or should I let him back and risk further grout damage / paint splatters?

If IANBU, WIBU to request a partial refund? I paid him £380 initially - that was for the above work in 2 bathrooms, 2 half days work.

Please be nice as I don't want to be a dick here, I will listen to replies, and am genuinely upset at the lack of care taken for something that has taken us a long time to save for.

To not have the decorator back?
To not have the decorator back?
To not have the decorator back?
To not have the decorator back?
To not have the decorator back?
OP posts:
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pollymere · 20/09/2025 19:41

I found Decorator's Wipes got the paint spatters off everything after the previous occupants clearly couldn't paint properly. Or you could try white spirit in an inconspicuous area. I'm horrified he didn't put down cloths! I had someone destroy my patio so I sympathise.

angela1952 · 20/09/2025 17:33

SENsupportplease · 18/09/2025 18:30

He did two bathroom ceilings for us - the other one is fine! A few paint spatters but all cleaned off easily. It's so strange.

Did he get somebody else in to do the second ceiling for him? It sounds likely, and isn't what you paid for.

Allseeingallknowing · 20/09/2025 14:31

The standard of work is shoddy and unacceptable . I would be putting a review of his work online if he didn’t rectify it to my satisfaction.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 20/09/2025 14:25

I feel gutted for you. What should have been quite exciting, having a shiny new bathroom, has been tainted by a shitty tradesperson. Absolutely not your fault. Trusting word of mouth is akin to a glowing review. I would totally trust a neighbours review. Poor you. Sadly I think that like others have said you’ll have to chalk it up and get someone else in to sort it out 🤷🏻‍♀️

WFHforevermore · 20/09/2025 14:20

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 14:18

I was there first day and morning of second, just had to leave before he finished on second day. DH was there whole time. It was the same guy both days.

Doesnt matter if your DH was there, its what you're happy with and you arent happy! Thats all that matters.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 20/09/2025 14:20

‘Barkeepers friend’ might shift the paint. Try it on a small inconspicuous area to make sure it doesn’t react with you surface ( even if it doesn’t work on this, it’s magic on pans and pretty much anything else, so you won’t waste your money. (Amazon or online outlets).

WFHforevermore · 20/09/2025 14:19

Fuck me, another thread turned into man bashing. Good grief, would you weird unhappy women give it a rest.

OP, just write it off, you sound very similar to me, i'd be so upset with the work and my DH would be similar and say lets just get it sorted. For £90 its not worth the confrontation and stress its causing you. Just remember next time pick someone with a proven track record and work you can see x

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 14:18

Mymanyellow · 20/09/2025 14:12

if you weren’t there I wonder if he did it or sent someone e else

I was there first day and morning of second, just had to leave before he finished on second day. DH was there whole time. It was the same guy both days.

OP posts:
Mymanyellow · 20/09/2025 14:12

SENsupportplease · 18/09/2025 18:30

He did two bathroom ceilings for us - the other one is fine! A few paint spatters but all cleaned off easily. It's so strange.

if you weren’t there I wonder if he did it or sent someone e else

DistractMe · 20/09/2025 14:09

Good grief everyone, please stop hectoring the poor OP about her relationship with her husband. It's just goulish.

I completely understand why you are upset OP and I would not let the idiot decorator back into the house. Ever.

NB I don't know the first thing about decorating, have no clue what cutting in actually is. I am fortunate enough to afford to pay people to do this kind of work and have absolutely no intention in my 60s of learning a craft that I would almost certainly be crap at. We've got people coming in soon to completely renovate our hall and stairs. It's going to be a big job and of course I'm anxious that they do a good job. But they seem to be pretty professional and we'll just have to roll with it and see how it goes.

Edited for typos

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:55

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:53

Op you paid him before seeing the end result
I just enquired as to whether you asked your husband to take a look before paying

as paying a tradesmen that you have never used before, before you’ve actually seen what they’ve done, is maybe not something to do going forward

Agreed, my foolish error

OP posts:
SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:54

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:51

And your husband also didn’t get a chance to see it before you transferred pay to him without actually seeing it?

Explained this upthread, thanks

Not sure why you are so keen to make DH the bad guy in this scenario but other than him having nearly as many challenges as me when it comes to trades, he isn’t in the wrong here and you aren’t going to get anywhere

OBVIOUSLY it was daft to pay, but the problems are much less visible at night, especially when you can’t open the door fully because it’s wet! we kept to our agreement with the decorator. Stupid yes, nothing to do with DH!

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:54

Op I don’t went to get you more worked up

so I’ll leave your thread and all the best. It will be sorted

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:53

Op you paid him before seeing the end result
I just enquired as to whether you asked your husband to take a look before paying

as paying a tradesmen that you have never used before, before you’ve actually seen what they’ve done, is maybe not something to do going forward

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:52

Then why the fuck does anyone ever post here if they have one person in real life who can reassure them?

no need for more than one opinion EVER

no need for unbiased replies, get an opinion from someone who just wants you to be happy

no need to speak to people who might have experience of similar situations

what a daft rebuttal

why post on a thread if you don’t want to answer the question originally posed?

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:51

SENsupportplease · 18/09/2025 18:30

I paid him in full once the job was completed - I was working away at the time.

And your husband also didn’t get a chance to see it before you transferred pay to him without actually seeing it?

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:50

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:48

That was MY QUESTION

can’t you see the question mark which clearly delineates it as a question?

as in, you are asking about my husbands response to the fact I should have chosen a better decorator?

HIS RESPONSE IS WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED

honestly

Ok so in that case, if your husband is no judgement and supportive, baffling that you needed to ask mumsnet and your relief that you’re “not crazy” when we reassured you.

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:48

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:45

Your husband’s response

That was MY QUESTION

can’t you see the question mark which clearly delineates it as a question?

as in, you are asking about my husbands response to the fact I should have chosen a better decorator?

HIS RESPONSE IS WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED

honestly

OP posts:
SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:46

And I have a strong sense of self thank you very much but life is hard, autism is hard, tradespeople are a fucking nightmare (sorry to nice ones), having kids with additional needs is hard, school are fucking unsupportive,

that doesn’t mean my husband is a problem and I don’t need to give a sodding life story to ask if this decorating is shit and WIBU to not welcome the decorator back!

thank you to those (most!) who didn’t pile on to my husband who bless him has no idea I’ve even posted!

OP posts:
Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:46

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 20/09/2025 11:16

No he doesn't! Clearly your comprehension isn't great.

OP's replies to your endless questions are:

He isn’t blaming me....

That’s prob more on me and my mindset than him. Because it feels like this happens all the time, I end up doubting myself and believing that he just says the right thing because he loves me.

this particular decision was mine and my fault but I’m not being blamed. he has made similar bad decisions in the past

He isn’t even fussed other than this has upset me

To clarify, I’m the one blaming me, I’m the one saying I should have chosen better. Which is how I feel.

He is the one saying don’t worry we will just have someone fix it.

I’m in an unhappy life dealing with poor health and a late stage autism diagnosis that I’m not coping well with, plus I’m constantly fighting for my children’s ever growing needs. My anxiety was there from childhood.

tradespeople have been an anxiety trigger for years.

my husband isn’t a problem.

Yet you choose to keep digging because you think you know better.

Very disrespectful to OP, her husband by calling him names and to their relationship.

OP asked for decorating help, not marriage counselling.

Even if she had marital issues, at the very least, you need to respect that she doesn't want to discuss it with you.

Even if she had marital issues, at the very least, you need to respect that she doesn't want to discuss it with you.

fair point

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 13:45

SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:44

I’ve said this a few times now

I THINK I SHOUKD HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER DECORATOR

my husbands response to that is WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED DONT WORRY

Your husband’s response

To not have the decorator back?
SENsupportplease · 20/09/2025 13:44

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 05:24

What i do see is a woman who has admitted to having a dreadful 12 months, riddled with anxiety and no sense of self, and questions whether she’s “crazy”.

Her husband thinks she should have chosen a better decorator

you might not see anything concerning about this, but I do

I’ve said this a few times now

I THINK I SHOUKD HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER DECORATOR

my husbands response to that is WE CAN GET IT RECTIFIED DONT WORRY

OP posts:
Treesandsheepeverywhere · 20/09/2025 11:16

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 05:24

What i do see is a woman who has admitted to having a dreadful 12 months, riddled with anxiety and no sense of self, and questions whether she’s “crazy”.

Her husband thinks she should have chosen a better decorator

you might not see anything concerning about this, but I do

No he doesn't! Clearly your comprehension isn't great.

OP's replies to your endless questions are:

He isn’t blaming me....

That’s prob more on me and my mindset than him. Because it feels like this happens all the time, I end up doubting myself and believing that he just says the right thing because he loves me.

this particular decision was mine and my fault but I’m not being blamed. he has made similar bad decisions in the past

He isn’t even fussed other than this has upset me

To clarify, I’m the one blaming me, I’m the one saying I should have chosen better. Which is how I feel.

He is the one saying don’t worry we will just have someone fix it.

I’m in an unhappy life dealing with poor health and a late stage autism diagnosis that I’m not coping well with, plus I’m constantly fighting for my children’s ever growing needs. My anxiety was there from childhood.

tradespeople have been an anxiety trigger for years.

my husband isn’t a problem.

Yet you choose to keep digging because you think you know better.

Very disrespectful to OP, her husband by calling him names and to their relationship.

OP asked for decorating help, not marriage counselling.

Even if she had marital issues, at the very least, you need to respect that she doesn't want to discuss it with you.

Fruitlips · 20/09/2025 05:24

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 19/09/2025 23:32

Why are you trying to find fault in OP's relationship when she's sated numerous times that her DH isn't the issue?

OP is stressed about the decorator, asked for help about that, not her relationship.

Calling her DH names isn't helpful to OP.
You don't know their relationship or her DH so have no grounds to judge him.

Sorry OP, it sucks but would pay someone else and forget about him.

What i do see is a woman who has admitted to having a dreadful 12 months, riddled with anxiety and no sense of self, and questions whether she’s “crazy”.

Her husband thinks she should have chosen a better decorator

you might not see anything concerning about this, but I do

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 19/09/2025 23:32

Fruitlips · 19/09/2025 13:18

But why the heck hasnt he validated your very very very reasonable view and made you not feel crazy op

I just don’t like that you are clearly very fragile atm and he blames you for not picking a better decorator

fu**. Off

Why are you trying to find fault in OP's relationship when she's sated numerous times that her DH isn't the issue?

OP is stressed about the decorator, asked for help about that, not her relationship.

Calling her DH names isn't helpful to OP.
You don't know their relationship or her DH so have no grounds to judge him.

Sorry OP, it sucks but would pay someone else and forget about him.

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